There We Are Then - part 3

[mummy917]

And another 🤣

Good thing you’ve picked it already so you don’t have to waste half the day scrolling deciding what to watch like I have this evening xD

@mummy917 I hope you had a lovely, relaxing weekend doing exactly what you wanted to do ☺️. Hope handover today wasn’t too stressful xx

I had a lovely weekend, just what I needed and very glad I saved myself the money of going away for the night. I did end up doing housework for some of it, but the house has been scrubbed from top to bottom and all washing is done and put away; it only took about 3 hours so not too bad, and I spent the rest of it in my pyjamas watching tv, reading and snuck in a little takeaway with my friends on Saturday night 😊

Handover was okay this morning. Although I did mention to him about him paying his half towards everything I’ve bought recently in terms of school uniform and he just shrugged. Guess that will also be added to the financial order then.

@mummy917 There’s a saying I love (because I’m a vindictive little beast)…don’t get mad, get even” ❤️

Your weekend sounds wonderful OP, staying home was clearly the right choice for you. I would describe you as going from strength to strength!

Glad you had a lovely weekend. Your calmness re the shrug in response to your request to share the costs of school uniform is admirable. I'm guessing the financial statements from each of you are enough to make the case in your favour at a financial level. Is it worth texting your request and screenshotting this and responses to add to the evidence that he is not parenting equally and is not acting like a reasonable human being? I'm so mad on your behalf about both the money and the attitude.

Yeah I sent him a message shortly after the handover, saying that he needed to work out a way to contribute to stuff like uniform that the kids need and he has read it but not replied. It’s like water off a duck’s back now, as I know he will do all he can to not pay anything.

Isn't he lucky @mummy917 that you are so organised and a financially responsible parent, so he can spend his money on a stupid tattoo?

A friend yesterday mentioned they got sepsis from a tattoo. I immediately thought of you and There We Are Then - I know it's awful to wish sepsis on someone, but in the circumstances...

Glad you had a relaxing weekend, and welk done for getting all the housework and laundry done too!

@mummy917 it sounds like you had a perfect weekend for what you needed, I’m so pleased.

Did he palm the kids off on Friday again? Or shock horror did he have to actually parent for 3 days?

You know you aren’t going to get any money for uniforms etc, has he even bothered to get the boys’ haircut?

Isn’t it amazing how much more free time you have now that you don’t have that millstone STBEXH round your neck

No he didn’t palm them back off on Friday, I was on training so he knew he couldn’t.

Yeah I know I’ll not see that money again, I’ve made my peace with it. Even though it does annoy me. No, I took our youngest son with me and the girls last weekend and all 4 of us got our haircuts. My eldest went to a football match with my dad but I have his haircut booked in for Friday, ready to start back at school next week.

If there is no joy re him paying for uniforms etc I'd be inclined in a week or two to mention it to his mum, just in passing. Maybe shame him into paying?

@mummy917 I meant did he palm them off on his Mum, although I wouldn’t put it past him to turn up at the hospital and dump them on you 😂.

And yet I bet he’s managed to get his haircut several times since he left. There We Are Then.

Don’t forget to add the cost of the haircuts (or at least half the cost) to the financial statement.

I worker for many years in debt recovery and I can fully understand that you can’t face a financial battle with your Ex at the moment, but from experience where a debt is getting bigger all the time (which is happening as he won’t pay his 50%) you really need to take action sooner rather than later. The bigger the debt becomes the harder it will be for you to get it back. He needs to learn that he has to pay. Even if you feel you can manage to cover all these expenses, why should you. If you don't ‘need’ it, put the money in accounts for the children when they older

If he continues not to oay his share it's not 50/50 remind him of that and tell him that you'll have to go for child maintenance if he continues not to pay his half .

Just go for it anyway. There’s enough to show he isn’t doing his share.

I’d take him to small claims court for the beds too tbh.

No he apparently had them all weekend but his mum went round on Saturday to help him.

Ah bless him - still hasn’t worked out how to actually parent his kids - something you’ve been doing single handed for years 😂😂😂

Do you know why his poor mother had to go round and help? My god the poor must be seriously fed up. Does she have a partner or other children? If she does, they must be seriously annoyed at his incompetence too.

She has a partner, 2 other sons and 4 other grandchildren. I have no idea why she went round, my eldest just said she’d been there to help on Saturday and she’d been there from when they got up as she made them their breakfasts while their dad got showered etc.

I do wonder if she’s been in his ear about trying to reconcile with you, OP.

It would make no difference now if she has or hasn’t. The answer would be the same regardless.

Oh I know—but she’s likely crossing her fingers for a bit of respite. He’s probably super pissed off if she’s making comments like that to him.

Yep ... he still has to get his mum to help