There We Are Then - part 3

[mummy917]

And another 🤣

Reminders of Him will make you cry...don't read that 😂

if you like biographies to read Sarah millican is good and could hit the spot as a woman who thrived post divorce.

I think the artist should be persuaded to do MUMMY on one set of knuckles and INLAW on the other. Just to remind him that they both know he’s a little shit.

Her books are brilliant, but likely to make you cry.

I enjoyed Sheila Hancocks autobiography. But I was a big fan of Morse!

I love coleen hoover. Verity is a must read.

I love Colleen hoover books too! Easy reads.

I think I might dig out my old kindle and download some of her books. They sound like the type of books I’d enjoy

Good luck on your training course over the next couple of days.

I hope handover yesterday was event free.

Most of all I hope you have a wonderfully relaxing weekend, with lots of chill out time. If you are going somewhere new I hope you have fun exploring too ☺️.

Thank you, I’m waiting to go into work to start the training.

I dropped my 4 year old at nursery yesterday morning and the other 3 with my ex’s mum as I wasn’t at work yesterday due to having 2 days of training, so handover went very smoothly and I also got a coffee with my ex mother in law too 😊

It's so good you have such a good relationship with your ex MIL. She must find this all very difficult too.

Oh that’s good, must have been lovely to have a stress free Wednesday morning.

It’s nice that things are so amicable between you and your ex mil. It makes sense to stay friendly with her, it also gives her some perspective too.

Yeah things are friendly between us and I’m glad because it really eases my anxiety for handovers if I know I can take the kids to her, rather than my ex.

That's so good. I don't suppose you've ever had chance to slip into conversation all those nights he was staying over at hers, just to see her reaction?

That’s really good, although I wouldn’t be totally surprised if your ex starts kicking off about you doing drop offs at her house. I imagine he’d see that as losing some control of the situation.

That sounds great for you, so much less stress. I’m sorry, I can’t remember, have you and she agreed together that that is how you will do all future handovers, or was this just a one-off? I would be ideal for you if you could continue with this system if it suits her as well as you, though I suppose There We Are Then would raise objections at not being able to control you.

@mummy917 look up “I am an island “ by Tamsin calidas. That women had some strength .

Loving the book recommendations, have loads on reservation from my Library now (Libraries are great - most are set up for children now too).

Also loving the Saturday night away - I did that occasionally after ExDH moved out - if I was at home there were dozens of chores to be done, things making me more anxious. Needed blank space, clean bed, fresh horizon to do a reset. Enjoy!

And also loving, OP, that you are still engaging with this thread. I can't speak for everyone else but I'm so invested in your story. My ExDH did the same to me - "I just want to be single" - although I found he'd been messaging another woman in the months beforehand, and his phone records showed messages to several other women in his hobby group. And our (only one) DS had literally just finished University, so no childcare issues.

Have a super, special, weekend.

I am doing my best to keep up with the thread, the training I am on is tiring so when I finished yesterday, I had a shower and went to bed 🤣

I am to-ing and fro-ing with the night away now it’s getting closer; I don’t know if I’m trying to do too much too soon. I’ve been thinking about cancelling it and just having a bit of a self-care weekend at home.

She said she would help out where she could with handovers but the majority will still be with him, because next week I’m back to working the Wednesday and Thursday so will be dropping the kids off at his on the Wednesday morning before I head to work.

I’d think about what you might get out of the hotel stay that you couldn’t get at home. Is it somewhere you’d enjoy exploring? Does it have a lovely location to sit with your book? Is there maybe a spa for total relaxation? Would you enjoy a couple of meals being cooked for you with no clearing up afterwards? And something you may not have thought of - is it possible you may find a weekend without your children just a little bit easier if you’re not looking at the space they usually occupy?

I think if you stay at home you will get pulled into doing chores and come Monday, you won't feel as if you've done something different.

If you go away, it will be easier to focus on yourself and the change in your usual weekend routine will help you to create distance even if - at worst - you ultimately decide that doing it again isn't for you. At best - you return rested and refreshed!

When a relationship has ended, it can really help to use your time doing things you couldn't / wouldn't do when together otherwise you are constantly doing activities (like the family holiday) being reminded of his absence.

I’m a big fan of my own bed. For me, having my own house entirely to myself (almost never happens) is much more restful than staying in a hotel. Do what you want, not what you think you should want - whatever that may be!

Regarding the weekend have you got a friend who would maybe like a rare break from family as well?

I’m also a fan of my own bed and feel as though I should make the most of having the house to myself while I’ve got the chance 🤣

I asked my best friend, but she didn’t feel comfortable leaving her toddler and 8 month old with her husband overnight and pretty much everyone else has their own plans or are at work 🤣 I have until 8pm to cancel with no charge.