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Original poster

Husband doesn’t appreciate gift

520 replies

MrsM101 · 23/07/2026 21:32

I’m pretty upset and feeling unappreciated. I’ve saved for 3 years for my husband’s 50th birthday to make it a special one. I spent months researching and planning and booked Dubai for his birthday, really spent a lot more than I’ve ever done before to show my appreciation and make his birthday special, also purchased a watch he had been after on top of it all which cost a bomb. I just really wanted to celebrate him. Firstly he is annoyed that I didn’t allow him to hand pick the watch himself even though he told me that’s the one he loved, secondly he is annoyed that I planned a holiday and he wasn’t involved in the planning and doesn’t want to go. I have shed so many tears and feel so unappreciated. I didn’t see it going this way. I just don’t understand what I’ve done wrong

OP posts:
Hopefulsalmon · 23/07/2026 22:52

Take the watch back and buy yourself a medal.for putting up with such a selfish baby. And go on the holiday on your own - fuck him!

squirrelchops2 · 23/07/2026 22:52

What an ungrateful sod. I love a holiday as a surprise for big birthdays. My last big birthday i had a Tag and a trip away...was perfect.

AMillionPeopleCheering · 23/07/2026 22:53

I can't imagine for 1 second being this ungrateful or rude about a gift that represents so much thought, effort and cost. I pray that my husband insults me in a similar way one day.

2chocolateoranges · 23/07/2026 22:55

SummerHols2026 · 23/07/2026 22:48

Hard agree, who the fuck complains about their gift?! I would never! So rude and ungrateful.

Return the watch for starters.

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Totally agree, I was brought up with manners and told to be grateful for any gifts I received! (even if I didn’t like the gift, be grateful to their face)

SereneGoose · 23/07/2026 22:57

Could you, with genuine and gentle curiosity, ask him why he's annoyed?
I think his response could be enlightening for both of you...with kindness.

blankittyblank · 23/07/2026 22:58

DisappearingGirl · 23/07/2026 22:17

A question for those who have said they are with the DH - what should OP have got him?

He sounds the type that would have been annoyed with just some socks/chocs and a meal out.

I’d have saved the money for the holiday and say “guess what - we’re going to Dubai! Why don’t you find hotels you like and we can pick one..” etc

i would feel exactly the same as the DH. I love Thailand for example, but I would never want my DH to make all the decisions on where we’re staying etc. I want tine part of the planning.

MissEyelesbarrow · 23/07/2026 22:58

Good grief there are some shallow and pathetic people on this thread. Wanting the ‘experience’ of sipping champagne whilst having a shop assistant be nice to you - you know they’re paid to be nice to you? If I’m buying a nice watch , I just want the nice watch, I don’t need to be fussed over. OP you did such a generous thing, it’s definitely not you that should be feeling embarrassed (return the watch).

Pokingbroccoli · 23/07/2026 22:58

I think it depends on family finances as we don't have much spare money and so don't go on expensive holidays. If you've had to save for three years then this is, presumably an expensive purchase, I wouldn't really want my DH to spend that much money without talking it through first as there might be something else we could do with it.

Yoheresthestory · 23/07/2026 23:00

He’s a brat. Both things should be even more special because you worked so hard to get them for him.

i feel very sorry for you.

saraclara · 23/07/2026 23:00

I would have been disappointed at not being able to be part of the planning and decision making for the holiday. Choosing the flights and accommodation are a big part of the excitement, for me.

But if my partner had saved for three years to do this for me, I wouldn't dream of expressing that disappointment.

WillieBanjo · 23/07/2026 23:00

If you were way off the mark, I would agree with your DH, but if it's the exact watch he wanted and the holiday is on his bucket list, then his reaction is poor.

I would hazard a guess that he is a little alpha and does not appreciate you being in charge. In your situation, I would not have been upset; I would have been very angry Op

NeatPinkFinch · 23/07/2026 23:01

I’d be considering ending the relationship. Either that or never buying him another present again!

Funchythesnowwoman · 23/07/2026 23:02

Who in their right mind would even consider booking a holiday to Dubai at this moment in time ??

Notonthestairs · 23/07/2026 23:07

She bought the watch he wanted, booked the trip he wanted and it’s still not right?
fuck that.
you’ve got nothing to be embarrassed about Op. don’t hide away.

I don’t know whether I’d be prepared to ever buy that person a gift again.
Ungrateful doesn’t cover it.

SereneGoose · 23/07/2026 23:09

Sherunswithwolves · 23/07/2026 22:50

He's 50. He's supposed to have matured a long time ago.

I get the impression that he would have picked fault with whatever you did for his birthday.

Yup.

OneNewEagle · 23/07/2026 23:15

You haven’t done anything wrong. For my 50th I saved up two years for something for the garden. No big presents from my OH. And this year for my birthday I got nothing.

So your DH should think himself very lucky.

I would be upstairs in tears as well.

99bottlesofkombucha · 23/07/2026 23:18

Has he ever put anything like that much effort into you op? Take the watch back. Tell him you took it back and he can fuck off and buy it himself.

WimbyAce · 23/07/2026 23:19

MyGlassMenagerie · 23/07/2026 21:51

But that’s precisely why he’s unhappy, don’t you see that? The watch sounds like it was a big, expensive purchase so he wanted to be involved in the excitement of going to the store and choosing it. Likewise, Dubai is a bucket list holiday for him, but he’s had it dumped on him (wrapped up as a gift) with someone else having made all the decisions about it. The OP clearly meant well, but it’s obvious why it’s fallen flat and that doesn’t make her DH spoilt. His disappointment has just led him to react badly.

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Sorry what? He's an ungrateful prick. So sorry for you OP.

IJustMight · 23/07/2026 23:20

AmusedMember · 23/07/2026 21:53

I'd be taking the watch back and going on holiday alone, use the watch money and get yourself a lovely treat! Ungrateful bugger.

Tend to agree.

You bought the watch he said he wanted. Which shows you pay attention; you listen to him; and you saved up to surprise and treat him with it on his birthday. Was he thrilled? No he moaned that he wanted to pick it (the watch he would have picked out anyway) himself.

You booked a holiday to a destination on HIS bucket list and saved 3 years to do it. He moaned and said he didn't want to go? He's deliberately being an arsehole.

Also an indicator that something else is going on there ... perhaps he just hasn't had the balls to tell you he's not happy about whatever it is. His birthday, life, your marriage, his job something. But he's taking it out on you.

Fucker. I'd be telling him the watch is going back. He can go to the shop and have his 'experience' buying one for himself. And you'll take a friend to Dubai .. or re-arrange it for someplace you want to go with a friend. Even better.

honeylulu · 23/07/2026 23:21

What an ungrateful little brat. For my 50th I really wanted a short break to Santorini. Dropped loads of hints. Nothing. Had to book and pay for but myself. It was great but I'm still slightly hmmm that it was my big birthday and I ended up treating him to a lovely trip. I would be delighted if if he treated me to a surprise trip to somewhere I wanted to go and which I didn't have to pay for.

Topseyt123 · 23/07/2026 23:23

He sounds like a horrible spoilt brat.

Take the watch back and get your money refunded. Go on the holiday with a friend instead of him.

He sounds very immature and he needs to grow up. Tell him so.

Thankyouitwasdelicious · 23/07/2026 23:26

Almost all the men I know have a real issue over turning 50. Bet that's what's actually bothering him.

RanniTheWitch · 23/07/2026 23:27

Surprises are more about the giver than the receiver. My husband and I stopped buying gifts for each other years ago. If either of us wants anything we just get it. We get each other little tokens, flowers, cuddly toys etc., but anything special either of us want, we get it ourself, as we consider that part of the joy.

I would note though that we have completely joint finances so the idea of getting each other a gift is the surprise part only, and not about getting something you without paying for it.

Anseranser · 23/07/2026 23:27

chillyputsomesockson · 23/07/2026 22:28

If my DH had been squirrelling money for years then spent it on experiences that I’d always dreamed of having damn right he’d know I was pissed off!
But he wouldn’t do that because he understands the fun is in the build up and planning. For my 40th he took me to NYC, he said let’s go for your 40th, I’ve save the money for upgraded flights. We then planned it together, I planned where I wanted to visit, what part of the city I wanted to stay in, I chose the hotel, it was everything I’d dreamed it would be.
Had DH just announced he’d booked it all I would have been extremely disappointed. I’d have gone and had an ok time but it wouldn’t have been what I’d dreamed of because he’d book a different hotel in a different part of the city and wouldn’t know what stuff I’d want to do that needed prebooking. I’d be really annoyed that he’d spent all that money and although it was NYC, it wasn’t the holiday in NYC I’d dreamed of.
OP just needed to save the money then for his birthday plan a trip into town to go to the watch shop and ‘Surpise!’ We’re going to get you that watch! Then ‘Surprise!’ Ive also save enough, let’s go to the travel agents and look at Dubai holidays! The DH would have been static!
As per pp, op can tell herself she’s done it all for DH, but realistically, she’s done it in a way that she assumed she’d get lots of glory herself and it’s backfired.

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This is the thing with the holiday: is there something specific he wanted to go to, that's in a different area or at a different time to what's been booked? I can understand his feelings if for instance the holiday is in autumn but the main attraction for him happens in spring.

The watch he's just being spoiled about though. He wanted the watch, he got the watch.

Berrybear7 · 23/07/2026 23:29

Wow he's completely out of order. I'm awkward when it comes to receiving gifts too but I get around this by specific with things I want. He told you he wanted the watch but now he's saying he actually wanted the experience of being the person buying it in store. How were you to know. You've booked his dream trip and that's not ok either. Return the watch. Go away with a friend if it's too late to cancel, and enjoy it. There needn't be a drama but I should say to him you are sorry he's not happy and you've fixed it for him but tell him how hurt you are that he's not even able to acknowledge the effort you put in, not to mention the work to afford theses things, and let him have a long think.