Husband doesn’t appreciate gift

[MrsM101]

I’m pretty upset and feeling unappreciated. I’ve saved for 3 years for my husband’s 50th birthday to make it a special one. I spent months researching and planning and booked Dubai for his birthday, really spent a lot more than I’ve ever done before to show my appreciation and make his birthday special, also purchased a watch he had been after on top of it all which cost a bomb. I just really wanted to celebrate him. Firstly he is annoyed that I didn’t allow him to hand pick the watch himself even though he told me that’s the one he loved, secondly he is annoyed that I planned a holiday and he wasn’t involved in the planning and doesn’t want to go. I have shed so many tears and feel so unappreciated. I didn’t see it going this way. I just don’t understand what I’ve done wrong

I'm afraid I'd be with him. Surprises are almost more about the giver than the receiver IMO, and the choosing and planning is all part of the fun.

I hope I'd be polite about it, but if I was having a very special treat holiday, I'd want some say in where we went.

Can he change the watch?
My DH bought me a Longines watch. Nice but not me. He was okay with me changing it and 20 years on I still wear it daily.

As for a holiday, I am with your dh. I would hate to have a surprise like that sprung on me.

Thank you for your objective view on things. The thing is Dubai is on his bucket list…so I feel a little blind sided. Maybe I should have involved him however I feel he would also have been put out if there was no surprise present

Sorry OP, I’m also with your DH on this.

He doesn’t want to change it - it’s the one he wanted. He just wanted to handpick it and experience the store experience himself

Take the watch back and get a refund. Go to Dubai without him. Sorry I disagree with the previous comments, I think he’s being an ungrateful sod.

I agree with your DH.
You meant well but I'd feel a bit railroaded.

Both gifts were thoughtful, things he'd said he wanted. He's spoiled, plain and simple, if he doesn't appreciate them.

I could understand if he'd never said anything about Dubai or this watch, but he'd said he wanted the watch and Dubai was on his bucket list.

Sorry but the first responses on this are batshit. She’s spent a bomb. Saved three years and got him something he loved??
For the thought alone I would be over the moon. And my standards are not low.

But that’s precisely why he’s unhappy, don’t you see that? The watch sounds like it was a big, expensive purchase so he wanted to be involved in the excitement of going to the store and choosing it. Likewise, Dubai is a bucket list holiday for him, but he’s had it dumped on him (wrapped up as a gift) with someone else having made all the decisions about it. The OP clearly meant well, but it’s obvious why it’s fallen flat and that doesn’t make her DH spoilt. His disappointment has just led him to react badly.

Both things that he really wanted but he’s chucking his toys out the pram cos he wanted to go to the shop? Take the watch back and tell him to buy it himself. He’s acting like a spoilt child.

I’m not in agreement with PP here, you paid attention to the watch and got the one he wanted, and booked a trip of a lifetime that’s on his bucket list.

He is being an ungrateful arse.

Return and refund the watch. Don’t get him another one. Take a friend on the holiday.

This, 109 per cent. What an arse

I would be over the moon if someone had gone to all the trouble of organising a holiday for me to somewhere they knew I wanted to go! As for the watch, I would also be totally happy with a surprise although I do know people who would rather pick out their own for an expensive item like that. Overall though it sounds like he is being completely ungrateful! Is he a bit touchy about turning 50?

I'd be taking the watch back and going on holiday alone, use the watch money and get yourself a lovely treat! Ungrateful bugger.

Reacting badly when someone has clearly been thoughtful, taken time, spent money, made an effort and arranged gifts you wanted, just because the things haven't come into your life in the exact way you'd have chosen yourself, is the very definition of spoilt in my opinion.,

He’s being rude and ungrateful - I think you’ve planned 2 lovely things for him.

As the one who has done the planning for all (bar 2) of our holidays for the past 24 years, I would sincerely LOVE DH to spring a surprise trip on me!

I have no idea what the “in store experience” for purchasing a posh watch is, but your DH sounds ridiculously ungrateful. Hopefully he’ll realise how silly he’s being on both the holiday and watch, you both can enjoy the holiday and he can enjoy his new watch!

Some people are decision makers and some are ok with decisions being made for them. I book all of our holidays and I'm not sure I would be ok if DH booked everything.

I'd be less fussed if DH bought a present that I had said I wanted. But I'm not into 'the shop experience'. I do prefer to choose things myself, I don't like surprises.

thank you all for your views, I’m trying to remain open to everyone’s opinion. I just don’t know how I could have done this differently without it looking like I haven’t made an effort. It’s a big birthday, I took note of things that were on his radar and to be honest if I hadn’t have got the watch or holiday I genuinely do t knew what else I could have got him to make it special. Vouchers just don’t seem right for a big birthday

So do I. What a misery your DH is.

Your husband is a nasty cunt!!!

Buying a posh watch - they 'schmooze' you, for want of a better way of putting it. Sit you down in a comfy private area and offer you a drink while they bring watches out for you to try on.

Pleasant but nothing so amazing that it's worth making a fuss over. It's essentially having your ego massaged by someone who thinks you might spend money thereby getting them commission - the DH is very immature if he attaches much value to it.

Is it normal for him to be this mean to you?

He’s an ungrateful bum OP. I’m really sorry. Throwing a hissy fit over not getting a store experience or planning a holiday when you knew it was what he wanted. What an absolute prince he is. Well done for staying married to the guy. You deserve a prize. Oh hang on I know, a holiday without him!