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Original poster

Disturbing inappropriate text before first date…

337 replies

messyhairdontcare25 · Yesterday 22:03

Hi everyone

i just wanted to share a disturbing text I’ve received from a guy.

The date was planned for this Friday and I received the below by text out of nowhere…no previous sexual talk, just planning the date. Totally icked out and disturbed. Urgh!

Quick checkin: Are you behaving yourself or do I need to intervene?

OP posts:
DontTeaseMyDog · Yesterday 22:23

I'd read that as are you drinking or not, but you'll know more from the conversation leading up to it, I guess?

Does he need to drive you home / uber, or are you staying sober?

Whatacoincidence · Yesterday 22:23

Sigh, I get this a lot in trying to navigate online dating. I even told one that he didn't need to keep making sexual comments as we started talking 2 days prior. He followed up with a comment about my boobs. He hadn't even seen my boobs! I blocked him when he started going on about how his bed might be a better place for our 1st kiss rather than a coffee shop. 🤢

I think they feel like they need to keep giving reminders in case we forget they have 'needs'.

Knock this one back, OP. Someone who isn't a desperate little toad is out there.

Original poster
messyhairdontcare25 · Yesterday 22:24

JLou08 · Yesterday 22:22

Describing it as disturbing is quite a dramatic over reaction.

Well, I do find it very disturbing that he’d think I’d be up for a conversation like that after only been texting for a day or two with no sexual chat whatsoever - creepy as hell!

OP posts:
ThatCyanCat · Yesterday 22:24

JLou08 · Yesterday 22:22

Describing it as disturbing is quite a dramatic over reaction.

Well, better dramatic than totally useless and uninsightful, eh?

TofuTuesday · Yesterday 22:24

Oh I thought maybe it was referencing Friday, like are you planning on getting really drunk, a wild night, etc in a jokey way?

Needmorelego · Yesterday 22:25

@messyhairdontcare25 you'd be best to actually ask him what he means and then decide if you still want to go on the date.

Original poster
messyhairdontcare25 · Yesterday 22:26

ThatCyanCat · Yesterday 22:24

Well, better dramatic than totally useless and uninsightful, eh?

Show quote history

Agreed ThatCyanCat 👍 If you’re not going to say anything helpful, don’t say anything!

OP posts:
DontTeaseMyDog · Yesterday 22:26

Yeah, I'm not sure why you've gone to the route to hes asking if your submissive, what was the texts about before this because if you've never had anything sex talk with him then you are stretching hugely

theresbeautyinwindysun · Yesterday 22:26

I wouldn’t have put a laughing face. You don’t think it’s funny and you don’t want to communicate to him that you think it’s funny.

GreenWhiteViolets123 · Yesterday 22:28

ThatCyanCat · Yesterday 22:12

I think he's hoping that OP will reply, "No Master, I am such a naughty girl, please come round right away for lots of kinky sex!"

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Yes exactly! Some very naive responses on this thread. I think its blatantly obvious his text was meant for you and was intended exactly as @ThatCyanCat said.

Original poster
messyhairdontcare25 · Yesterday 22:28

TofuTuesday · Yesterday 22:24

Oh I thought maybe it was referencing Friday, like are you planning on getting really drunk, a wild night, etc in a jokey way?

No, we have hardly spoken. I’m passing on this one for sure! Yuck!

OP posts:
Original poster
messyhairdontcare25 · Yesterday 22:30

theresbeautyinwindysun · Yesterday 22:26

I wouldn’t have put a laughing face. You don’t think it’s funny and you don’t want to communicate to him that you think it’s funny.

Well I genuinely thought it was meant for someone else so that’s why I put it. Can’t believe how strange it was!

OP posts:
DoubleBoubles · Yesterday 22:33

I’d have to ask him what he meant by that, just to make him have to explain and hopefully feel uncomfortable
Such an odd comment

TreesAtSea · Yesterday 22:33

HeBeaverandSheBeaver · Yesterday 22:19

He is being Pervy and turning to initiate sexy chat. How are you all missing that!

Exactly. It's plain as day to me and I've led a pretty sheltered life.

OneFunGreyFish · Yesterday 22:34

It's a dom thing, it's so incredibly common now. I unwittingly posted a photo asking for advice on a dress on Reddit and got about 200 messages unprompted mainly from guys with a dom kink. I had no idea it was a thing but I think it is.

saraclara · Yesterday 22:34

Well it would have whooshed straight over my head. I had no idea what you were reading into it.

I'm clearly not up to date with sex talk.

ForeverNowWithin · Yesterday 22:34

Needmorelego · Yesterday 22:07

I don't even understand what it means 🤷

Me neither but I wouldn't be particularly weirded out by it, just confused. I don't think it comes across as an attempt at sexual innuendo. I think it's more likely to have been sent in error.

A huge overreaction on the OP's part I think.

ThatCyanCat · Yesterday 22:36

ForeverNowWithin · Yesterday 22:34

Me neither but I wouldn't be particularly weirded out by it, just confused. I don't think it comes across as an attempt at sexual innuendo. I think it's more likely to have been sent in error.

A huge overreaction on the OP's part I think.

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You guys are so cute.

Out of curiosity, OP, does he look like a masterful type or is he a dweeb?

OneFunGreyFish · Yesterday 22:37

DontTeaseMyDog · Yesterday 22:26

Yeah, I'm not sure why you've gone to the route to hes asking if your submissive, what was the texts about before this because if you've never had anything sex talk with him then you are stretching hugely

It is clearly a dom check. Like have you never engaged in sexting nor heard of this?

Cheeseandolivesplease · Yesterday 22:37

I think he was sending it to another woman.

RedRock41 · Yesterday 22:37

Major ick. I’d be washing my hair Friday!

nocoolnamesleft · Yesterday 22:37

If he did mean it for you, I would assume he was testing the water for BDSM kink.

Cece92 · Yesterday 22:38

I’m laughing at how weird and how much the message doesn’t even make sense. Is that his best chat up/sext he can come up with? I remember I had a arranged a date with a guy I’d been talking to for a few weeks he seemed nice down to earth and literally woke up at 3.30am for the loo checked my phone and he had sent me a dick pic with a really corny caption. So i responded saying ‘ seriously the day before our date and this is the shit I’m waking up too? The picture could have been better’ he actually never responded to me 😂😂 it was out of nowhere that was what made it worse

Arrivederla · Yesterday 22:39

ForeverNowWithin · Yesterday 22:34

Me neither but I wouldn't be particularly weirded out by it, just confused. I don't think it comes across as an attempt at sexual innuendo. I think it's more likely to have been sent in error.

A huge overreaction on the OP's part I think.

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Oh my goodness - are you really this unaware?!

Gooseling · Yesterday 22:39

messyhairdontcare25 · Yesterday 22:24

Well, I do find it very disturbing that he’d think I’d be up for a conversation like that after only been texting for a day or two with no sexual chat whatsoever - creepy as hell!

Show quote history

It’s not disturbing.

It’s cringe. But not disturbing. There’s no sexual element to it at all.

Cancel the date, cause it’s obvious this isn’t going to work out.