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Original poster

Disturbing inappropriate text before first date…

337 replies

messyhairdontcare25 · Yesterday 22:03

Hi everyone

i just wanted to share a disturbing text I’ve received from a guy.

The date was planned for this Friday and I received the below by text out of nowhere…no previous sexual talk, just planning the date. Totally icked out and disturbed. Urgh!

Quick checkin: Are you behaving yourself or do I need to intervene?

OP posts:
Wooky073 · Today 18:08

There are 2 scenarios as I see it-

  1. he text the wrong person which means he may be sexting someone.
  2. its an attempt at getting flirty and sexty with you. The request for photos follows along with dic pics being sent to you.

with either of those scenarios I’d canx the date …. Either way it’s disrespectful yet also common with online dating

TheLovelinessOfDemons · Today 18:09

Definitely someone who's into BDSM, but has no experience, because that's not how you behave.

WimbyAce · Today 18:22

I reckon he sent it to you by mistake but tried to pretend it was for you. Prob talking to loads of people.

liloandstitchh · Today 18:25

Reads to me like that was meant for another woman (ie is she pleasuring herself). I would assume it was for you but it literally doesn’t fit the tone of the conversation at all?

Lunaticmess · Today 18:30

I wonder why he's single!

Dersie · Today 18:32

messyhairdontcare25 · Yesterday 22:08

I asked was this meant for me with a laughing emoji and be said yes

I wouldnt read that as a disturbing text,, more like a tad of misjudged humour in an attempt to break the ice a little?
I douldnt show him the red card for that.

GameOfJones · Today 18:33

WimbyAce · Today 18:22

I reckon he sent it to you by mistake but tried to pretend it was for you. Prob talking to loads of people.

I would bet my house it's a text meant for another woman that he has been messaging and then has sent OP by mistake. It makes zero sense otherwise unless OP had told him she was on a night out or was home alone or something. He didn't want her to know he was messaging other women so he's said yes it was meant for her when she asked.

But it is definitely sexual. I don't believe some posters aren't getting it.......what do they think he means otherwise?

MibsXX · Today 18:36

OneFunGreyFish · Yesterday 22:37

It is clearly a dom check. Like have you never engaged in sexting nor heard of this?

Show quote history

Dom check, lolol honestly , some of you!

It's something a bit playful that a couple of my previous relationships have used or similar when texting, but only when we are already comfortable with each other , so playful talk, I agree, depending on previous text convos, I don't think I'd be happy to be acting this familiar when we haven't even met or got to know each other yet.

Bluestar1971 · Today 18:41

Just don't go on the date

Terfarina · Today 18:48

red flag! block him

Buzzingabout · Today 18:49

Sounds like and he is texting another woman on the site. Probably meeting several. Red flag. Sounds as if it could have a sexual connotation. Avoid!

IStillHearTheWaves · Today 18:53

Gooseling · Yesterday 22:39

It’s not disturbing.

It’s cringe. But not disturbing. There’s no sexual element to it at all.

Cancel the date, cause it’s obvious this isn’t going to work out.

Show quote history

Exactly.

Where's the sexual element?

DressOrSkirt · Today 19:05

GameOfJones · Today 18:33

I would bet my house it's a text meant for another woman that he has been messaging and then has sent OP by mistake. It makes zero sense otherwise unless OP had told him she was on a night out or was home alone or something. He didn't want her to know he was messaging other women so he's said yes it was meant for her when she asked.

But it is definitely sexual. I don't believe some posters aren't getting it.......what do they think he means otherwise?

Edited
Show quote history

It could literally mean anything depending on context. Sent to someone on a girls night out - are you drinking too much? Sent to someone at the grocery store - are you buying too many avocados again? Sent to someone meeting their difficult family - are you being polite? Sent to someone going to bed - are you going to scroll tiktok for hours?

Warmlight1 · Today 19:12

JanFebAndOnwards · Today 18:03

(Did he mean a “check-in” rather than “Just checkin’ “)
Not that we want to divert to pedants’ corner

It's always possible the other woman's texts were not as grammatical as he'd have liked.

PinkCloudOfHappiness · Today 19:13

Ugh. This is why I am staying single. Online dating is a cesspool. I’m bi, and everyone on dating sites gets sexual straight away. Men seem to think that if you’re bi you must be “up for it” and the women are just as bad!

I probably wouldn’t have been creeped out by this guy, but if you felt uncomfortable with this text then he is not for you. Trust your gut, it’s rarely wrong.

WiseTealRaven · Today 19:17

HeBeaverandSheBeaver · Yesterday 22:19

He is being Pervy and turning to initiate sexy chat. How are you all missing that!

Exactly! I can't believe how many are saying it was meant for someone else or they don't understand it.

ProfessorBinturong · Today 19:18

DressOrSkirt · Today 19:05

It could literally mean anything depending on context. Sent to someone on a girls night out - are you drinking too much? Sent to someone at the grocery store - are you buying too many avocados again? Sent to someone meeting their difficult family - are you being polite? Sent to someone going to bed - are you going to scroll tiktok for hours?

Show quote history

Absolutely none of those are for him to judge or intervene in.

OneDaringGreenBiscuit · Today 19:20

I think he's assuming sex is on the menu, he wants to know if she is up for it and has contraception covered or does he need condoms. Yukky bugger, bin him !

DressOrSkirt · Today 19:24

ProfessorBinturong · Today 19:18

Absolutely none of those are for him to judge or intervene in.

Show quote history

Surely that depends on what the woman he meant to send it to thinks?
Although my point was only that it's not necessarily sexual.

Seajaye · Today 19:27

Id say he might be seeking an adventurous date and is seeing if you up for any naughtiness but I think he's misjudge the timing and appropriateness without getting to know you. He might have messaged on a send to all settling for all you know
Take care.

Original poster
messyhairdontcare25 · Today 19:28

Warmlight1 · Today 19:12

It's always possible the other woman's texts were not as grammatical as he'd have liked.

Show quote history

He also said too instead of to…but I let that slide…should have known!

OP posts:
Justmeee22 · Today 19:51

If I was you I wouldn't bother with the guy. He confirmed that the text was meant for you and not sent to you by mistake. Yes, it could be just his idea of a joke, but as you've stated you don't really know the guy, he could be ok, but then again he could also be an out and out weirdo, I wouldn't take the chance, too many of them about

Fromthestart · Today 19:54

Yes I wondered this too. Either checking to see A. If she's happy to be submissive
B. Meant for another woman.

Surgz · Today 20:01

Fuck him off .. already an idiot

Dersie · Today 20:05

Calliopespa · Today 07:56

Yup, this.

It's likely sexual but a different conversation.

Show quote history

Its a little flirty at worst, if that even!.
Im finding it hilarious that some on here are insinuating that this man is some sex crazed sadomasochistic lunatic because he asked a playful question.
If i could id strongly advise him to run for the hills!