Disturbing inappropriate text before first date…

[messyhairdontcare25]

Hi everyone

i just wanted to share a disturbing text I’ve received from a guy.

The date was planned for this Friday and I received the below by text out of nowhere…no previous sexual talk, just planning the date. Totally icked out and disturbed. Urgh!

Quick checkin: Are you behaving yourself or do I need to intervene?

What an immature prat

I think he meant it for another woman in a sexual way, but when he realised he sent it to you, it didn't occur to him that he could have swung it that it was a friendly text to a family member sent in error (because his original thoughts were sexual) and he couldnt say it was for another woman meant in a sexual way, so screwed up and said it was for you...

End result... lucky escape for you, bad luck for him!

I feel like I'm going mad here but can I check that this is the text you're all losing your shit over:

Quick checkin: Are you behaving yourself or do I need to intervene?

In what way is this sexual?

In what way is this disturbing?

In what way is this inappropriate?

Make it make sense!

Just reply with a "what do you mean?" or "huh?" or "I beg your pardon?" because I really don't think it means what half of you are leaping to.

The wank and a packet of crisps post is crystal clear but this one is baffling.

Someone asking someone else if they've behaving is clearly projecting a dominant dynamic, surely you see that? Especially if they're the one to correct the behaviour by intervening.

What do you think it means, and why do you think he said it to the OP, given it was complicit of the blue and with no context?

So apparently it’s a quote from the film ‘football factory’
so everyone’s wrong

Wrong thread, ignore me. Carry on 😂

I was looking it up to see what you were talking about as never seen that film before 😂Best accidental post!

I realised the second i had pressed send 🤦🏻‍♀️

He’s trying to be flirty but being clumsy. I’d bat it away quite firmly.

Nobody knows! And that's why this whole thread is baffling!

If I was out for a night out and someone asked if I was behaving myself I'd assume they meant in a jokey way "are you dancing on tables or just sitting chatting" or "are you being loud and lairy?" or if I was in for the night I'd have no bloody idea at all! I guess "are you making sure you've done the washing up or have you covered the sofa in dorito crumbs".

Honestly, no idea.

I genuinely think some wild leaps of imagination have gone on and someone (OP) just needs to ask the fella what on earth he's on about.

Maybe he is a creep. Who knows. This one text doesn't scream that from the roof tops.

Er, no, didn't think there was an emoji to cover that?

Bit strange without context, i’d ignore it.

Can you not see that one adult asking another adult if they are “behaving themselves” or in “need” of their intervention is not normal?
Then adding in that it’s a man asking a woman.
Via a dating site.

I wouldn't be going on the date!

So you don’t know what it means but you definitely know that anyone saying it’s sexual or creepy is wrong.

ok 👍

I agree with you 100%

Ew. Ew. Inappropriate. He’s way off. No date Friday.

To me it’s just a flirty text, perhaps a bit much if you’ve only met him a few days ago. I really wouldn’t read into it that much.

Why depressing that women are unperturbed? Some may be some may not. You can say something is unacceptable to you without being emotionally affected by it. I get what you mean but feel that just because a woman is detached and not disturbed, does not mean there is something wrong with her. We aren't obliged all to be shocked at the same things or lesser if something affects us differently.

Did the op just ask him what the hell he meant by that or is it better just to have a big moan on here and not actually allow the guy to at least explain himself even if the explanation is eww

You definitely had a lucky escape.

The missing hyphen in 'checkin' would also give me the ick.

Surely not meant for you? If he says it was, don't meet him, he's weird! If it.was meant for another love interest though, where do you fit into this, is he actually single?

It’s not depressing that some people aren’t shocked, it’s depressing and scary that some women cannot spot red flags and or have quite low standards.
This guy is seeking to control, that could turn out to mean various things, none of them great for the unfortunate woman involved.

(Did he mean a “check-in” rather than “Just checkin’ “)
Not that we want to divert to pedants’ corner