Again. This seems to be aimed at me despite you not giving the courtesy of quoting nor tagging.
I didn’t say you specifically were suggesting the OP ‘tricked’ this children and her ex into the children not attending. I was referring to other posters who have suggested OP takes the children away and doesn’t let them attend, despite knowing her ex wants them at his wedding.
Unless there are safeguarding concerns, she has no reasonable grounds to deny them the opportunity to attend the wedding. Her ex has PR and it’s for him to make sure they are safe.
Your opinions of weddings and your fantasies about the ex and his new wife have no weight.
Your assertion regarding the tradition of grooms not having their children at their weddings is another fantasy. I am not assuming anything about who will be keeping an eye on the children, that is the responsibility of their father who has PR (parental RESPONSIBILITY).
I didn’t say OP would be breaking the law if she didn’t ‘send’ (the term is make available) the children, I suggested she would be unreasonable to deny them the opportunity. I am ‘invested’ in truth and what is best for the children.
I don’t understand your comment about me policing my own family. You know as much about my family as you do my qualifications or expertise.
Yes, the father told the children about the wedding and what he wanted their roles to be before communicating with their mother but despite that being ill-advised and has upset OP it is not the crime of the century. I’m afraid the concepts of ‘I didn’t tell you because I knew you would be upset/react like this’, and, ‘ask forgiveness rather than permission’ are frequent among estranged parents.
Your comment about it not being honourable to let decisions to be taken out of the mother’s hands implies the mother has a higher rank in the children’s lives. This is not correct; they both have PR. No, it’s often not in the children’s best interest to make decisions behind the other parent’s back but that happens and you have no reason to believe this is the father’s track record.
Both parents have the right to use their judgement but it’s always better if they are able to co-parent with respect and good communications. That frequently doesn’t happen and both parties have to deal with that.
You are being ridiculous with the comment regarding me writing the Law.
I didn’t say a Family Court Judge would see OP as a bad, bad, mother; you are straying into fantasy again.
I also see OP as someone who cares well for her children but I also see her as pragmatic and sensible enough to understand she shouldn’t attempt to stand on rights she doesn’t really have to upset the children and antagonise her ex.
If you wish to respond, please do me the courtesy of quoting and/or tagging me.