I have ONE fucking thing a week I do for myself and dh repeatedly lets me down by being late home

[CountessDracula]

and tonight "he forgot"

I have been so supportive to him lately and he can't even be fucked to think of me

This is becoming a pattern
I am beginning to think he is a selfish cunt who doesn't give a shit about anyone but himself.

In fact I have thought it for a while

He is compounding it with repeated selfish behaviour

I never let him down
never

what was the thing?

what is it u do that he lets u down on?

does it matter?
It is my time

I work bloody hard both at work and for my family
I support him to the ends of the earth and all he can do is let me down

Genuine thoughtlessness and selfishness

I'd be annoyed, too. Can you get him to agree that you will phone him at work each week to remind him? TBH, I always have to remind my husband of things like this and he is fairly willing to help.

i feel for you CD, it is these times for ourselves that keep us sane.

Can you "forget" some things for him? If he experiences it, maybe he'll see how upsetting it is?

I feel that I think about his needs a lot
and he never thinks about mine

He is VERY aware that I think this

If he genuinely forgot, he won't mind sitting down and agreeing a way of not forgetting next week. For example, doing a reminder on his mobile NOW, to remind him next week. Or for you to call him before he should leave work or whatever.
If he gets all stroppy about it, then it is a case of passive aggressive.

If you have asked nicely, pleaded your case, done as much as you can to get him to realise how important this thing is to you and he's still fucking it all up.....

Reciprocate in kind. Find out the most important thing you do for him, and don't do it.

And kick him in the goolies for good measure.

Why should I have to remind him
I am not his fucking PA

I am sick of it

Are you OK? Sounds pretty rubbish.

Can you get a babysitter to fill in until he gets home?

I know exactly how you feel CD, this happens frequently in our house too - no advice I'm afraid as I haven't got it sorted yet. I can't bear thoughtlessness, it feels so...dismissive

You shouldn't have to remind him.

Is it possible that you do so much for him, he's forgotten you have things you'd like to do too? Ie he's a bit lord and master and you're a bit scullery maid?

Agree you're not his PA.

I personally would be fighting the urge to kill him.

I empathise CD, my dh is the same.

I have avoided doing anyhting that would require a commitment from him to be home at a regular time each week, as I know it would end in failure.

Each time I organise somehting it gets forgotten, so I am back in the realm of not bothering.

But it pisses me off.

Serious lack of respect here...

Fundamental relationship problem imo

Can you take dcs to his office and leave them there at 430pm and say "See you at midnight, darling, ciao!" as you rush out the door?

If you dh is a surgeon or a wrestler this will not work.

Tell him its about the children. They're his as well. So he must be at home to look after them while you do your weekly whatever.

No buts, no ifs, no arguments.

No I can't do that

• if I did it would just be wiping his arse for him wouldn't it?

He should be grown up enough to be able to remember this one thing.

TBH I am starting to feel like I am the equiv of a woman whose husband hits her and she just stays for more

If he doesn't care about me why should I stay with him?

you are totally right .. he is totally wrong

shall we plan some exacting form of drawn-out revenge?

I really don't want revenge
I just want him to care enough about me to think of me and not be so self-centred and self-obsessed