I have ONE fucking thing a week I do for myself and dh repeatedly lets me down by being late home

[CountessDracula]

and tonight "he forgot"

I have been so supportive to him lately and he can't even be fucked to think of me

This is becoming a pattern
I am beginning to think he is a selfish cunt who doesn't give a shit about anyone but himself.

In fact I have thought it for a while

He is compounding it with repeated selfish behaviour

I never let him down
never

You can't make someone care about you though, can you

no i love your dh
i secretely covet him for my own

Women would do so much better living with women. This sort of thing just wouldn't happen so much.

My ex husband used to do this. Once I had arranged to play in an old girl's hockey match at my old school and go to a reunion dinner afterwards. It was all planned months in advance. I needed to leave at 6am to get there in good time. He rolled home at 7.20am having been nightclubbing.

Well maybe I should divert his cab to Salisbury then...
of course like a total knob he jumped in a cab
So now he won't be home til midnight ffs

but he buys you ejwllwery adn fwoers and htings
oh god dont let him not be nice

CD, what is the history of this? Because I was genuinely surprised to find that this thread had been started by you; you've always seemed very happy and companionable. Have things changed recently?

Does he know how cross it makes you and how upset you are (I suspect he does). Or does he need to have it brought home to him by you 'forgetting' to be available to support whatrver he does?

Men do require some training in these matters though

I found years of nagging calm reasoning has worked wonders

Worrying that he knows you feel this way but is still behaving like an arse. My DH went to considerable lengths to make it home in time for me to do my thing last week, having previously made arrangements that he knew would clash and thinking I would be OK with it. I wasn't. He was a bit surprised, and to his credit, came through.

Have you laid it out in those terms to him?

That's the prob
he seems nice
but i suspect that underneath it all he only thinks about himself

cd, this is shit, sorry

but ime men are just shit at remembering stuff

dh doesn't know the boys' birthdays

he struggles with the year we were married

i would have to call and email him repeatedly if i needed him to think of me for any reason when he's at work

he loves the dsses, and me, to bits. but when he's at work, he's At Work. Thinks of Nothing Else

poor you though x

oh dont be too drastic cd.

Does he think his job's more important?

This doesn't sound like you CountessDracula. I can appreciate that you're upset about this one thing but either you're really mad about something else or .... I don't know what because your response seems out of proportion. You being cross about him forgetting to come home in time one day a week repeatedly doesn't justify your last post, I don't think. It is really just this or is there a lot more to it?

I find these things get worse as we get older. Men become rather inward. As if they have always secretly wanted a homely wife to look after everything for them.

funny that he can remember who won the FA cup from 1901 and every date of every arsenal match and every score since neolithic times isn't it?

I was surprised to see this was you too. Is there more behind this, is it really repeated behaviour? And HAVE YOU GOT PMT?

(remember you get it bad atm, me too and I know am utterly unreasaonble aroundthen)

do you think he's just got a blind spot

it isn't a sign that he doesn't care he's just a bit stupid when he gets tied up with work things he forget

men aren't great at holding numerous things in their heads .. I once called DH's office at 6.05pm to check what time he'd left the office because he was 5 mins late and I was due somewhere .. and he answered the feckin' phone .. he'd forgotten to leave at 5 as promised, although he'd remembered at 3pm when we last spoke.

men are just like that

my h does this thing of i say " you need to be at home bcause ds2 is playing beach volleyball/ lacrosse/ for wilthsire/ our road that night"

and he says yes

then a week before he says

" ah graham wants me in amsterdam that day"

no int eh OLD days i used to then fuss nad fluster and tlak about it.
NOWADAYS i am reformed fish(!) and i say

" oh"

a nd then graham miraculously manages

Lists? Men's favourite things. They're all a bit obsessive re lists of facts you know.

that's different

they can dedicate a couple of brain cells to these facts and figures and render that small part of their brain useless for anything else ever again

but the bit of the brain that juggles, plans, organises, considers, etc. etc. ... well ... that is often Engaged / Missing / Frozen

Hire a sexy manny to babysit. Drop sexy manny's name into conversation at random. Mutter name of sexy manny in your sleep. Call dh sexy manny's name by mistake. Shag sexy manny.

You may not have to get as far as the last one before dh volunteers to be home early for you.

Seriously, either he doesn't get how much this means to you (head in sand?) or he's letting you know how much you rely on him.

Sexy manny is the way to go.

yes, look, twig gets it

Oh he said he was leaving at 5 (ie home at 6)
didn't bother to call to say he was leaving later (which he knows I hate it is rude and disrespectful)

it is now 20 past 7 and still no sign...