Husband said he wants to spilt up and I’ve been totally blindsided - part 3

[mummy917]

Just another follow on thread from the last 2 😊

Absolutely love this! Just brilliant @Sodthesystem

we will all be singing this with you @mummy917!

❤️❤️

This song needs its own thread so everyone gets to hear it! I love this.

I will, these threads have been invaluable and I really have felt so much less alone because of them too.

I am so looking forward to her graduation 🥹 I will no doubt cry!

Absolutely brilliant, what a bop. Hope it can cheer you up on your lower days, OP. You are a genuine inspiration, I hope you feel proud of yourself for the way you've handled everything and the way you continue to prioritise your children above everything. What a woman.

Thank you @Ihaveneedofwaternearsome days are definitely harder than others but the kids keep me going. They’re the ones I do everything for. I am hoping I can keep my composure tomorrow at the graduation, the last thing I want is for him to see me looking even slightly unhappy. I just want to avoid any type of conversation really other than exchanging pleasantries in front of our daughter.

I would bear in mind that if you cry (you will!) and he is sneery or implying that you are crying over him, say that its perfectly normal to be emotional as your child moves on to another stage of their life (ask me how I know!). If you can chuck in the implication by way of disdain, that if he isnt emotional then he doesnt give a shit, even better!

It might be useful to think of these wobbles as little mini retreats away from the pain. Just treat them as a small thing, not proof of anything big or permanent. Jump up, clap your hands, throw a load of laundry on and dance around then go out and meet your friend. Just movement alone may break you out of your funk. Just try hopping from thing to thing. You don’t need a full road map to do the next good thing.

Hiya OP, I've responded before, I think you're amazing. How come this stay with their dad is for so long (until Monday)? That seems like a wildly long time! I can't imagine being away from my daughter that long and she's 4. Maybe this sort of arrangement isn't a go for you(?)...it would be a no from me. I'd insist on shorter stays, at least while the littlest are so tiny. Is that feasible at all? (Apologies if I've missed some very good reason!)

Wow! Brilliant! 😂

@mummy917 I’m so glad you ended up having a more uplifting evening with your friends and you managed to have a good time.

Good luck at your daughter’s nursery graduation today, I hope it goes well and you can enjoy being in the moment with her. I’m sure she will be thrilled to see you too and will give you an extra tight cuddle.

@Sodthesystem your song is epic, can you imagine the pure rage Twattoo would emit if he realised there is a song out there now basically mocking his entire existence as classic midlife crisis man.

We have an arrangement where I do Mondays and Tuesdays, he has Wednesdays and Thursdays and then we alternate Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays. So this week is his weekend too which is why he has them for so long. It’s the first time he’s had them for this long since we came to the agreement so it’s all new to me. He didn’t agree to the initial schedule so we are trialling this one.

Thank you! I am just happy I get to spend some time with her when it’s technically her dad’s time with them 😊

An added bonus about it is that he’s not gaining anything from you having that extra time with her either. In fact he’s probably not overly impressed he’s had to take a day’s holiday to facilitate it.

I think you’ve mentioned how excited she is to start big school, so I imagine today is a very important day for her. I hope you both have the lovely day that you deserve ☺️.

He’s only taking a few hours off to take her there and drop her back off with his mum afterwards.

She is really excited to start school and has done all her transition days now so today will be such an exciting time for all of us ☺️

Definitely - it is absolutely brilliant!

@Sodthesystem @mummy917 a thread with it's own theme song ... It's giving legacy vibes!

Also @mummy917 if you take the energy to read back even just your posts over the three threads you will be so very very proud of yourself. We all are.

And at the Nursery today, remember all your daughter's MNAunts are standing in a bubble around you so that you can feel the feels and celebrate her success at growing up.

This is amazing! Very catchy and my husband is a good egg but I definitely could see it becoming an anthem for all women 😆

Mummy917 hope you had a lovely evening, hope today goes well, A nice walk before it gets hot if it’s not still raining where you are might set you up for whatever the day brings

@lessglittermoremud no it is sweltering here again now so I’m avoiding anything strenuous today! I do feel slightly better than I did last night so hoping today is a better day all round ☺️

@Missingducks what a lovely thing to say! I will definitely be thinking of you all as I watch her proudly 🥹

I will read back through my posts when I feel a bit less wobbly, even though today feels like a bit better day already than yesterday. I’m going to try and enjoy doing things for me over these next few days while the kids are with their dad.

@mummy917 I’m assuming he hasn’t started bombarding you with texts and updates yet? To be fair he’s probably only had to properly parent for about 2-3 hours since you dropped them off as he’s been at work and his Mum has been holding the fort.

No, I’ve not had any messages or anything up to now. Like you said, his mum has done most of the parenting yesterday while he was at work so if I do hear from him it’ll more than likely be from tomorrow onwards.

@mummy917 do the twins have nursery on a Wednesday or a Thursday? If not, I cannot imagine his Mum is going to want to give up 1 or 2 full days a week to look after them every week. That’s not going to last long at all. Especially as she’ll have all 4 kids during the summer holidays and you’ve already said she’s not an overly involved Grandmother.

That is true genius @Sodthesystem!!!!! 😂😂😂

@Sodthesystem Amazing! love it!

Just read all 3 threads and I just felt I needed to tell you how incredible you are.
Your strength and dedication to your children is Olympic level, you should be so so proud of yourself.
I truly hope your daughter’s nursery graduation goes so well today. What a huge day for you both.

also @Sodthesystem thanks now that’s stuck in my head all day 😂

They go on a Thursday and they’ll be continuing that during the school holidays as it’s private daycare, plus I’ll be back at work by then too. No, I don’t think it’ll last long either. She has done childcare for us when we were still married and after a few months the novelty wore off for her and she started coming up with various excuses as to why she couldn’t continue doing it. This was when the twins were still babies and I went back to work after maternity leave. Bearing in mind I’d sorted out my shifts so she only ever had them on a Thursday when I was at work and it was a day less childcare we needed to pay for. However she dropped us in with that a few months into it, hence the reason they now go to nursery on a Thursday. But now that Wednesdays and Thursdays are his days and are my working weekdays as part of my flexible working agreement, if she drops my husband in it this time, it will be solely his responsibility to source alternative childcare for them.