Do you check your husband/partner’s phone?

[Marissa270]

Does anyone check their husband/partner’s phone? Is this considered normal and for the ones that do are your husbands ok with it? Thanks!

No. We each have Face ID on so we could check but never do. We trust each other

No I don't and it's absolutely not normal behaviour.

No and he has cheated, so some people think I probably should. We are working hard to reestablish trust, I’d see it as a massive backwards step. He is completely open now due to his therapy, he’s actually on the loo right now and his phone is sitting beside me on the arm of the chair.

I didn’t use to ‘check’ it, but if his phone buzzed and he was driving or in the shower I would read it to him. Now I ignore it just like I ignore my own phone buzzing half the time. I don’t think it’s an invasion of privacy- what’s he got to hide from me, we share a bed, bank account, and kids. His business is my business, and my business is his. But saying that our relationship is pretty healthy, I wouldn't promote checking each other’s phone in a relationships with any kind of controlling and coercive behaviour. And from past experience with an ex, if my partner’s behaviour indicated he was cheating I would just end the relationship.

Absolutely not.

No I don’t although when something popped up on the main computer it gave me cause to but I didn’t. I check his location sometimes- we have it on family sharing thing due to our adult son having severe hypos and also we have a funny drive and he needs to pu his van on first with mine infront to keep it secure at night as he keeps some tools in there so it’s completely blocked in - no one can get into it to steal his lawnmower (which happened before) but no never check his phone - I know what kind of man he is and I’ve chosen to stay for now.

No I don’t. I do have access to all his passwords for accounts etc and he has access to all mine.

No. Together for 20 years.

How about Instagram/social media to see who your husband’s following or if he’s looking at any women online? The majority of my friend group does and again I don’t so they consider me the odd one out

@Marissa270 - it’s just completely inappropriate. Stifling and controlling. You’re right. Your friends are wrong.

Check for what? I can unlock his phone with my face and vice versa. I might use it for something if mine’s flat. Do I look at messages? No. Wouldn’t occur to me. But we are happily married with no trust issues.

My OH wouldn't even know how to follow anyone on Instagram.

I follow male personalities but that doesn't mean a thing.

No, we’ve been together 26 years and I’ve never had any reason to not trust him. Checking his phone or stalking him online would be a gross invasion of privacy and a symptom that there’s something wrong in our relationship

Again….no I don’t

I did. Something was ally "off". So I looked and found out he was taking a "date" out and had been on many occasions over quite a long time. He was actually picking her up at hers and they were going to a hotel! We had been married for a long time.

really off

This. Nothing sus, both know eachothers passcodes etc but would never dream of checking. I’d feel pretty pissed having mine checked too tbh.

No. Why would people do that? Check for what? eTA I do know his pin so could if I wanted to.

We use our phones interchangeably as he often turns his off early in evening and then wants to look something up. He forgets to tell me about messages from the kids and his family so I read his WhatsApp to catch up. We open each others post too. He WFH so will send me a photo of anything I need to see.

Absolutely not. If I was with someone and I felt I needed to check their phone, that’s reason enough to not be with them for me. I haven’t looked on my husbands Facebook for about ten years. I don’t even think about its existence. What are they even checking for exactly?! I can’t imagine how it would feel if someone was checking my phone to make sure I was behaving. Might create quite a few self fulfilling prophecies.

No. We often discuss what our algorithms seem to throw up and sometimes show each other. His is all dogs and sport so …

How old are your friend group? I find this really weird if it’s the ‘norm’

No I don’t , but if I suspected him of doing something untoward I am not going to lie I would be tempted to check his phone

Both of us know each others passwords etc can't say it's ever entered my brain to go thru his phone, I had to borrow his phone a few weeks ago while mine was away for repairs and quite frankly whatever messages popped up were so boring I'm glad I don't enjoy mechanice and football lol

Never, wouldn’t dream of it.
He’d get told to fuck off if he wanted to look at mine so the same rules apply.