Do you check your husband/partner’s phone?

[Marissa270]

Does anyone check their husband/partner’s phone? Is this considered normal and for the ones that do are your husbands ok with it? Thanks!

I have never checked my dp's phone and he doesn't check mine. If it rings or buzzes and I'm nearer, I'll tell him who is messaging or calling him. Anything else is intrusive.

He isn't on Insta. He is on FB but rarely uses it. I have no idea who he follows and I'm not interested.

I use FB and X but he doesn't like my posts, let alone check on my followers or who I follow
It's all stuff that he isn't interested in anyway.

If a couple are snooping on each other's social media and phones, it's a sign of a relationship in trouble because there's a lack of trust.

Apparently a couple of my friends that do this were influenced by female dating coaches on social media who encouraged snooping on partner’s phones to ensure they were being faithful

Christ, they sound like female versions of Andrew Tate.

No, he rarely uses his phone. I know people who do though, their partners have cheated before.

Definitely not. He's allowed some privacy! He wouldn't want to check mine either

No, it's a terrible invasion of privacy. If your partner reads your private messages it's also an invasion of your friends' privacy too.

My last partner was upset that his ex wife used to go through his phone back when they were together and I reassured him that I would never do that and I wouldn't want anyone to snoop in mine either but he could always trust that I would be faithful. Anyway he abused that trust, kept on the dating apps and talking to other women.

I still believe in privacy 🤷‍♀️but it hurts that my trust was taken advantage of.

Yes, I have done in the past.

My instincts were right, and I have no regrets or guilt about it whatsoever.

😂 I think you’re right

My ex used an app on his phone it wasn't through normal whatsapp or messenger. I didn't even realise it was a chat app until messages started coming through on his tablet that I was using at the time. You don't even need a second phone or anything. The app looked like a utility app and not something you would think is a messenger app. You can also hide apps and lock them behind facial recognition and not just the passcode.

@Pherian can you remember what any are called, please?

Sorry to hear that. What a lot of trouble to go through just to cheat. That’s true I’ve heard of such apps and also the private WhatsApp settings and disappearing msgs function

I don’t with DH. We both know each other’s passcodes.

The ex DH cheated on me and after that I found myself checking his phone among other things constantly and that’s when I decided I had to leave and the marriage would not survive. That sort of living was not for me.

My relationship is longer than yours. I think privacy is very important. I do not want my partner to read my private messages to my family and friends. Or read things I might have written or notes or thoughts I might have jotted down. A separate life is incredibly important. And sometimes I have stuff in my phone that is not my secret to share. Confidentiality does not apply to everyone-except your life partner.

I kind of see this as borderline abusive and would end my relationship if I found out thei did it behind my back

Presumably that’s because you aren’t doing anything you shouldn’t be doing!!

No 😂

The way I look at it, if he wants to leave a 31 year long marriage then I'm not going to stand in his way - I would be fine. Knowing dh as I do, I would be extraordinarily surprised if he did!

Never, but I also know that if either of us were to ask we would hand it over without any hesitation

we both completely trust each other in this regard