Do you check your husband/partner’s phone?

[Marissa270]

Does anyone check their husband/partner’s phone? Is this considered normal and for the ones that do are your husbands ok with it? Thanks!

How old are your friends? This seems very teenage-like.

Nope, if I found out DP was invading my privacy like that it'd be an instant relationship ender. I'd be more likely to forgive cheating than going through my phone.

Nope. I do know his passcode and he knows mine, happy for him to pick it up and vice versa,

Maybe if he was being secretive, but I’d probably just ask him directly .

Also I can’t be bothered, if I had to go there my relationship probably not in a healthy place!

No never and he doesn’t check mine either.

you either trust each other or you don’t.

and if you don’t then the relationship is doomed

Nope never. I have no reason to.

If you need to check the phone the relationship shouldn't exist

No of course not

No.

No, wouldnt think to. I know his passcode but I think accessing it without him asking is a violation of trust.

We do. I don’t think we’re actually ‘checking’ for anything but we know each others pin and often one of us has an app we both use etc Or when we go on holiday we often take one phone because the other is used for work so I’d message my sibling off his phone if I needed to. We see it as just a phone not a secret world the other can’t look at. We’re open, share our whole life, never trust issues. He sometimes says oh my sibling messaged, read it when you can. I went out today and left him with my phone as he was using an app. Normal in our relationship.

He’s not on insta or facebook. Haven’t checked for any odd contacts on LinkedIn
🤣.
who has time for all this checking nonsense?

No absolutely not nor his social media. We are friends on Facebook and Instagram but that’s it.

No. I didn't yearn for a career in the police, and I'm buggered if I'm doing that in my private life.

If someone can't be trusted wtf would you be with them? A relationship where you have to check someone's phone to prevent them cheating on you is not a relationship I would ever be in.

Never. If I felt the need to, we would be over.

I do both of these things mostly because he doesnt. So I have both email accounts on my phone and I just let him know anything important that comes in so he doesnt miss it.

I dont check his phone but we will use each others phones if needed and both have each others fingerprints on both phones.

No, I’ve never had any reason to doubt him anyway but it really would be the last resort, even if I did have suspicions. It would be terribly boring, I’m sure!

No, never. We know each other's passcodes, in fact we use the same one, it's a 'family' code that we all know, but it would never enter our heads to check each other's phones.

I used to go on DH’s FB with his permission (I don’t have it and am nosey!)

I know his passcode and have checked it a few times but that was 10+ years ago, would check if I was suspicious but he would let me if I asked. We both know each others PIN codes (teens know mine too, so should probably change it).

We’re in our 30s and there are some who are older in their 40s. They literally check all their husband’s WhatsApp messages, contact lists, Instagram almost daily. They said it’s necessary even though they don’t suspect them of cheating but they want to see who they’re messaging/following. I would be insulted if my husband did that to me so I would never do that to him either. Sometimes he asks me for help for something on his phone but I would never look through I find that so disrespectful

It wouldn’t occur to me but then maybe I’ve just never had reason. Wouldn’t rule it out if I had suspicions but why would you do it otherwise. He knows my
password and I’m pretty sure I know his.

I don't know anyone who behaves like that. Do the husbands just hand over their phones daily for inspection?

I have done, years ago, not over fear of cheating, I suspected an addiction, which was correct, told him what I'd done, why I'd done it and what I'd found and essentially, would he like some help. I have not done it since.

I think the women are just incredibly insecure as they have witnessed a lot of cheating in their families/acquaintances. They just look through whenever they feel like it basically without making it obvious. They also have quite successful husbands so they’re worried about girls messaging them on Instagram. It’s sad really I was really surprised by their behaviour and it’s quite a few with the same mentality

No!!

it’s not normal, it’s a breach of privacy & can be used to control someone.

how would you feel if it was being done to you?

If you have that level of insecurity you have to resort to that, your relationship has no trust and is over.

No because I'm not a psycho.