Im sad for my son

[Katie660]

Im feeling hurt for my son and I don't know what to do....

Last night, my two-year-old accidentally hit our TV with a toy pool cue while he was playing. The impact broke the screen beyond repair. The cue was part of a Christmas gift that included a children's pool table.

The following morning, my partner was still angry about the broken TV and deliberately smashed our child's pool table. Our son did not witness this and has no idea that his toy has been destroyed.

When I spoke to my partner about what he had done, he said he wasn't sorry and didn't care that he had broken his own child's toy. I asked him what his friends would think of his actions, and he replied that he had already told them, and they all laughed.

How do I handle this, he will not sit down and talk about it and is only caring about his broken TV.

A two years old broke something by accident and one adult response is to sleep on it, smash a toy the following morning in retaliation and laugh about it with his mateis. Lovely.
I'm team leave the bastard. Your little is a toddler by nature your partner is an infuriated toddler by choice.

As a retired psychotherapist this frightens me. This is cruelty.
and the fact of no remorse from your partner is extremely concerning.
please think very carefully about your next steps. There must have been other occasions when he’s reacted so deeply unkindly. Start putting these together and think about your future and you and your son’s safety.

Oh dear OP…….I think you have an extra child there! what a silly, childish, unreasonable reaction to an accident! Surely, DH could have claimed for a new TV on the home contents insurance?
To destroy a 2 yr olds toy deliberately is just moronic!

LTB

Bloods can be very stupid. That isn’t good behaviour for an adult. If it was me and I couldn’t
get him to understand, I’d have an appointment with a relationship counsellor. It just helps the conversation and they would get him to think about his behaviour.

My father was an aggressive and violent bully. My mother had numerous chances to leave but never did. You have the opportunity to go to your mum’s so go. Don’t be like my mother. She ruined her own life as well as our childhoods

It was a toy! Do you have sons? My goodness. What a strange response.

Leave him. When my oldest DS was about 6 he and his friends ignored what I’d said about not playing with Star wars light sabres inside and our living room light was damaged.

My DH told them to play in the garden, swept up the broken glass and we managed to replace the broken droplets on the light fitting. When his friends had been collected we had a firmer talk with him about ignoring us and what had happened as a result.

My DH did not break his light sabres.

Your DH is not a man I would want around my DC.

All this over a tv? Did he have a tantrum because it means he can’t watch the football by any chance? It’s a fucking disease for some men, football.

Wow. Could be the child who is the recipient of his temper next time. Leave him

Ah adult who has so little control and thinks what they did was fine is one I wouldn't want in my life

This man sounds very dangerous if he can be so vindictive towards a two year old.

I'm glad you are staying with your parents. Please don't go back and don't let this man around your son unsupervised. Any decent parent (though annoyed at a broken TV) would have been relieved that your son wasn't hurt. This man made a cold and calculated decision to punish a 2 year old by destroying his toy. I'm sad for your son and frankly worried for him and you.

It's different, but not different enough for his father to then go and deliberately smash up the child's toy then laugh about it.

I’d be packing my bags, sorry OP destroying a 2 year old’s toy as a punishment seems like a huge red flag

TV would most likely be covered under your home insurance to be replaced. But that’s irrelevant, don’t stay with this man. He has shown you who he is, believe him.

My grandson broke a TV with a toy hammer at a similar age. He was playing at 'mending' it and cracked the screen. He was as shocked as anybody when it broke and didn't need telling off. He certainly wasn't punished and the insurance covered a new TV. He knew not to do it again..

You need to be a lot more than sad OP if you are going to protect your son.
Going to your parents for a while makes me worry this will die down and normality resume. Until your DP is upset again. If he will do this to get back at a 2 yo, what will he do to a 7 yo?
Edited for spelling

I grew up with a parent who retaliated like your partner. It escalated to violence against me .
Kids break things. It’s annoying but you don’t hurt their stuff.

I can understand your partner being upset about the broken screen on the TV. It means buying a new TV. However, to then deliberately break the pool table belongings to his own son, I assume as punishment for breaking the TV is beyond normal. Taking the item away, yes, I could understand that, but breaking it, No.

Your partner is behaving childishly. He's broken something belonging to me, so I'm going to do the same back. If your son accidentally hit your partner, would he have hit him back? Going by your partners warped thinking, that's exactly what he'd do.

You've said your partner has a temper, and since living together, that presumably has become worse. It won't get any better, if anything it will become worse.

On a side note, buying a pool table, even child size, was always likely to end in tears, in the hands of a 2 year old.

Wow clearly the TV was more important than the baby!

Your partner has anger issues that's clear. That's a massive red flag on its own but the lack of remorse is even more so.
Don't let him get away with it. Leave now and don't ever think about going back. This kind of behaviour escalates and letting him get away with it will just embolden him to think he can treat you and your son however he wants. Get out now before something worse happens.

You handle this by leaving this man. Immediately. He is immature, volatile and dangerous.

No idea what the first sentence is meant to say but this is terrible advice. Relationship counselling is not recommended in abusive situations, which this is. And you cannot get men like this to think about their behaviour. Please don’t ever make this suggestion again in situations involving abuse.

How is that your focus and not the abusive partner’s response?