Im sad for my son

[Katie660]

Im feeling hurt for my son and I don't know what to do....

Last night, my two-year-old accidentally hit our TV with a toy pool cue while he was playing. The impact broke the screen beyond repair. The cue was part of a Christmas gift that included a children's pool table.

The following morning, my partner was still angry about the broken TV and deliberately smashed our child's pool table. Our son did not witness this and has no idea that his toy has been destroyed.

When I spoke to my partner about what he had done, he said he wasn't sorry and didn't care that he had broken his own child's toy. I asked him what his friends would think of his actions, and he replied that he had already told them, and they all laughed.

How do I handle this, he will not sit down and talk about it and is only caring about his broken TV.

This.
That is such a disturbing thing to read.

Leave. Right now.

do not delay, just leave!!!

My mum smashed up some of my birthday presents when I was about 6.

I've never it written down before.

It still scares me now. I feel sick. I'm 56.

Go to your parents and don't go back.

When my child was a similar age he had some wooden maracas. One of the maracas hit the TV and cracked the screen. What happened after that was the maracas made their way into the garage so it couldn’t happen again and we bought a new TV.

Holy shit, this is horrible. A grown man smashing up a toddler's toy? Disgusting.

It was a pointless thing to do as well as utterly horrible. You can't punish a 2 year old like this, they just won't understand. Basically the dad want's to 'get one over' a 2 year old. Who does that?

Accidents should never be punished either.

There is absolutely no way I could see beyond a grown man sleeping on a child’s mistake and then going out of their way to ‘get one back’ on a 2 year old. Major ick at best, major red flag at worst. LTB 100%, no coming back from this in my opinion. Gross little man.

So incredibly concerning - for the sake of your son, contact women’s aid and make a plan to leave. Deliberately cruel, violent, terrible social group and zero understanding of a child. This will get worse.

let this be the only time this happens as you need to protect your son and walk out of that door

So sorry OP this has happened. For context, my DS broke our TV screen by chucking his sister's doll at it when he was 2. DH had got it as a gift for his 40th (expensive big screen plasma - I did say when he wanted to get it about riskiness of having small kids around!). DH was extremely gutted - but he didn't take it out on DS because it was an accident and also, he was 2!

If he'd broken one of DS's toys in response, I'm really not sure I'd have wanted to stay with someone who could do that. At best, it's hugely petty and stupid. At worst, it's incredibly cruel.

OP, I agree with all posters. This is not acceptable or the norm. It was an accident by a 2 year old, punishing with violence and destroying something that the 2 year old cares about shows no understanding of child development, is cruel and shows a concerning level of violence and inability to manage his own anger. However in terms of just leave... leaving can lead to violence escalating. We don't know you, your relationship, what feels "normal" to you etc. Please reach out to people in your real life, and let them help you.

Did he give the World Cup as a reason? There is a link between domestic abuse and football.
https://womensaid.org.uk/get-involved/campaign/football-and-domestic-abuse/

WTF. please don’t tolerate this. your poor son.

My son once broke the tv by accidentally flinging the Wii controller across the room. DH loved that tv but you know what he did when he saw it? He hugged his son who was uncontrollably crying for breaking it. What your partner did is literally shit. Good idea to head to your parents while you figure out what your next steps are.

Who on earth would let a 2 year old lose with a pool cue? They're obviously going to cause some damage with it. I think you're both negligent

Don’t tell him until you’re safe.

Go when he’s out of the house.

Way to miss the point of the thread.

Please leave him. Your son deserves better than this and so do you.

He's a vile man. You must leave him for the sake of your son.

Seriously?

Red parenting flag right there.
My Ds did this with a Wii controller when he was about 9. He was reminded not to stand so close and too make sure to wear the strap.
And that’s where we left it.

Horrible horrible man. Teach your son loving and gentle responses to every day occurrences. Not anger.

Woah..... it was a child's pool cue and he was hitting his balls on the floor..... I am not negligent he plays pool all the time and is pretty good at it

Putting your child first means leaving this man. It really is that black and white. Please don’t be like some other OPs who say “I always put my child first” and then keep their children in dangerous and damaging situations.

Jesus H Christ, a grown adult stooping so low as to enact retribution on a TWO YEAR OLD who made a mistake. Diabolical and despicable. I couldn't look at him the same way tbh.

Lucky your son didn't witness it as believe me, two year old see and remember things, more than adults think. I was a bit older when I was riding a hobby horse my mum made me in the garden, and when I turned it I accidentally swiped my toddling little sisters legs with the back of it. A total accident, I was about 3.5. My dad took it off me and snapped the pole in front of me over his knee and honestly I have never ever forgotten it. My parents divorced because of his adultery and we have never fallen out properly but he was one of those dad's who'd be absolutely fine then just lose it over seemingly small or accidental things.

Just a warning really, I personally couldn't stay with a guy who did that.