Husband says he has the ick and criticises my habits

[GotTheIckWithMe]

Dh has told me he’s ’got The ick’

That over the last few months he’s needed more time away from me as ‘little things were annoying’ and he can’t put up with certain ‘habits’ anymore. He thinks I’m lazy and he worries about the image I have and how that will affect the dc.

We used to go out once a week but he stopped that two weeks ago and made excuses. He’s now said he can’t stand the way I act when out and how I eat. I’m quite shy and he finds it ‘embarrassing’ . He’s very chatty and sociable.

I don’t know what I’m meant to do ?

Have you told him that he’s the lazy one for doing no housework?

Stop letting him be so disrespectful.

When he mentions it again, tell him he knows where the door is and he can leave if he’s not happy.

Just be prepared as he’s pushing you to end the relationship, so that he can go and be with someone else guilt free.

Jeezus. Fucking. Christ.
@GotTheIckWithMe
Your husband is an absolute prick.
Yes, as others have said, he's on his way out.
But, instead of being kind, respectful and honest - like a proper adult - he's grinding you down to make you into something disgusting to him to justify his changed feelings. You are seeing his true character. He is the disgusting and pathetic one, not you.

As others have said, ducks in a row - and fast. The very best thing to do is put your best game face on, BAFTA level, then serve him a divorce, maintenance and custody demand.
Get your finances, housing and family/friends supports sorted.

He doesn't deserve you.

https://chumplady.com

Ask him who is she?

This, sadly x

Ah the usual "new job" and "loads of overtime" -> 100% he met someone else.

If he has the ick, fine, it happens, but why doesn't he leave you then? Sounds like he wants you to take the decision so he doesn't have to. Dickhead. Knob. Trou de balle. Connard. Pardon my literal French
Ducks -> row. That's the only script to follow.

He’s got someone else OP. Stand up tall and strong, ask him outright who the other woman is, and watch his face.

This.

Ah a younger model replacement then.

Hi op I would show him how lazy you can be do nothing for him then he can see what happens when people also get the ick back. He’s a twat.

The start of 'the script' more to follow, he's cheating and trying to convince himself he has reason to leave you for his OW

Next time he criticises you, don't take it. Tell him that he knows where the door is and he can shut it on his way out.

You haven't changed, he has. This is 'the script'. He's got the hots for someone else and because you aren't her, everything about you is annoying him.

I'd start getting my ducks in a row if I were you. Sorry.

He's met someone else.

When my first husband had an affair, the first sign something was off was that he suddenly started acting like I was a total dickhead. Out of nowhere - I hadn't changed or done anything different, yet suddenly the way I sat on the sofa, the way I parked the car, the way I sang along to the radio, asking what he fancied watching on tv - everything irritated the life out of him and he could barely contain his annoyance at how pathetic and annoying I'd become. I was lazy too!

He'd met someone else and because his infidelity didn't fit with the image he had of himself as "a nice guy", he changed the narrative in his head to me being totally unbearable so that he could justify his actions to himself. Classic drama triangle stuff.

This is typical behaviour of someone who is contemplating or has started an affair. You are going to be gaslit at every chance. Stay strong OP and get your ducks in a row.

I didn’t even need to read any replies. This screams he’s having or about to start an affair. Everything about what he’s doing is major red flags 🚩 I’m raging on your behalf. Who TF does he think he is that he can criticise how you eat or drink? I’d have thrown the bloody drink over him! What an absolute waste of air. Get your ducks in a row and leave imo! You are worth so much more than being gaslit and treated like that!

Yes, do this. Tell him that what he's said has given you the Ick too, so you're withdrawing the labour that he's been happy to exploit so far, and you've seen a solicitor who's laid everything out for you - so now you see how much better your life will be when you're single.

Leave the house for one weekend day, so he deals with the kids. Etc etc.

Do NOT take him back when he realises how much he's fucked up and begs you to believe that he'll change - you've seen the truth now, and the truth is that he's an abusive man who is happy to crush you as long as it suits him.

This is what I came on to say.

Bad advice!!

Keep smiling, then solicitors visit , bank statements, salary slips, pension , shares. Etc. copy everything and leave at a friends. There's lots of other things too others will think of.

Hes cheating
He wants to leave you
He's restating your life together to make it your fault he's leaving

Get all the info you're going to need for a divorce together, in particular look for secret savings/bank account

Sorry that this is happening to you

You're going to be emotionally happier when this horrible man has gone, wishing you a happy future with people who respect and love you x

Sounds like the beginning of the end sorry OP

His comments are horrible to read. He's clearly trying to engineer it so any separation is your fault, because you didn't try hard enough not to give him the ick.

I'm so sorry to add to the chorus, but I think his head has been turned too. He's being vicious because it's the only way he can rationalise breaking up with you.

He wants to split but wants you to initiate it. Possibly has found someone else.