Would having a fifth child in our blended family be unrealistic?

[AmITotallyBonkers]

I have been in a relationship with DP for 2 years. We are engaged and live together. He has two DSS (3) and (5). I have DD (9) and DD (7). I am 31 and he is 38. I work part time school hours and he works full time half from home.

We have DSSs T W Th Night Week 1 and F S S Night Week 2. We have DD until Friday school pick up during Week 1 they are returned Sunday morning. Week 2 they don’t see their DF.

Would I be totally crazy to have another? We have the room at home and financial flexibility. Does anyone actually have 5 kids?!

As to not drip feed, life is busy but enjoyable, sometimes chaotic but worth it.

You really havent been together that long and his youngest child was only one when you got together! Is there a rush?

Does this concern you though?

Why do you want another child?

It all sounds very messy.

Just no

So he really didnt cope and left her with a baby under one! Or the relationship had been over for a while so why have that second child? A lot to unpack here.

@Newsenmum I don’t know how to be PC but the DS mother had an epiphany that she was into ladies instead and left.

You think this situation would be improved by being married?

I think it would make things very much worse.

Don’t do it. You have enough children between you.

It’s one thing to make yourself vulnerable but quite another to make your children even more vulnerable than they already are. And they are vulnerable; they have a non blood related man living in their house and only their mother, who is considering an unwise decision, to protect them.

Whhhhhhyyyyy would you think this is a good idea

Absolutely not.

I”d be very wary of a man who split with his former partner when his DC were so young. It indicates to me that he was most likely not a good partner or a good parent during the early days when support is so important to the mother. I’d be so wary that I would not have dated him to begin with.

Right now your kids are at the easy ages. The tough years are ahead of you. I would focus on making those years as good as you can for your existing children, not introducing a new child.

I agree with this. It’s all so new and could easily still go tits up.

Nobody needs 5 kids, whatever the permutation. Just enjoy what you have. It’ll get so expensive when they are teens for a start.

Yeah it's hard to take the opinions of comprehension challenged posters seriously, not to mention those that are anti blended families.

itll be tough through exam years, but other than that, if YOU think you have the energy for it, I think it would be a lovely way to complete your blended family 💕
.

Why do you think that? It doesn’t say that anywhere.

Ah ok fair enough

No matter how many women really it’s irrelevant.. BUT you and he got together when his were a YEAR old and 3yrs old.. yours were yours were only 5 & 7 when you all started playing musical families. That’s a very vulnerable age to have dad disappear from day to day life and a new partner to appear and move in as well. I would say this little gang have had quite enough upheaval in a very very short time.

I am saying this as a mother of 3 and step mother to 4.. we took 5 years to slowly introduce - and even then we had decided they shouldn’t be put through anymore because of the adults in their lives being less than perfect .

On top of that - you aren’t married. I know you say you’re engaged, but legally that’s worth nothing . At the moment, if he changes his mind or behaves in a way that changes your mind.. you are in no position to support your family on your own unless you are in one of the worlds rarest term time school hours only jobs that pays enough to support you and your children. Before you even consider adding more to the mix, either get married or up your hours.

Can you afford to get / support the current 4 through university ?

Apologies, I see that’s been resolved. Was reading down the thread.

How’s the bedroom situation work?

Does your DP want anymore children?