Would having a fifth child in our blended family be unrealistic?

[AmITotallyBonkers]

I have been in a relationship with DP for 2 years. We are engaged and live together. He has two DSS (3) and (5). I have DD (9) and DD (7). I am 31 and he is 38. I work part time school hours and he works full time half from home.

We have DSSs T W Th Night Week 1 and F S S Night Week 2. We have DD until Friday school pick up during Week 1 they are returned Sunday morning. Week 2 they don’t see their DF.

Would I be totally crazy to have another? We have the room at home and financial flexibility. Does anyone actually have 5 kids?!

As to not drip feed, life is busy but enjoyable, sometimes chaotic but worth it.

That old 'birthrate going down' chestnut. Yet families are moving to the UK with children all the time. Loads of people with kids want to move here. Too many humans on the planet v ai being brought in to replace them all

I wish to god both my own parents and my DHs parents didn't have that extra child you're talking about.

Think of your existing children rather than yourself. Please.

We did it and it was the best thing ever. He is now 7 years old and adored by them all. I appreciate we are probably a lucky bunch who get on and all love each other just as if we were blood related

Also, the next baby could be twins!

I absolutely wouldn’t rule it out. It sounds like you are financially secure both individually and as a couple. MN is generally massively anti blended families and seems to think that everything should move at a glacial pace and that it’s always terrible. I was 34 when I met DH - I already had two DC and we had another when I was 37. Obviously not 5 children but I’m so glad we had one together.

Missed out in what they needed or everything they could possibly have wanted? We’ll just have to agree to disagree with which parenting philosophy is better. Our children have all had quite simple childhoods out of necessity, a typical weekend would be spent in the park with a picnic and ice cream or in the garden in the sandpit, family walks in the woods, quality time together is on our walk to school, round the dinner table or BBQ, bedtime stories etc, a week in a caravan by the sea. They get to do something special on their birthdays. We’re not really the sort of family that obsesses over them getting into the top university but if there was a career they desperately wanted to pursue then we would try and help them achieve that. Not sure what they are supposedly meant to have missed out on?

@Summerfays26 do they do clubs, hobbies?

@Summerfays26 do you think all your DC will go on to have large families?

Yes absolutely, the older ones did loads of hobbies and clubs when they were children (and still do but obviously organise and pay for them themselves now) the younger ones do 4-5 a week including scouts, guitar, swimming and after school clubs and then we do some extras in the holidays like family forest school too.

I’m not sure, maybe not the older ones, can imagine them sticking with 2-3 as that’s basically what they grew up with and seems more their personality, but think the younger ones might. Although interestingly we had large age gaps to be able to give them all the time and resources they needed but my tweenager said she would definetely have hers with closer age gaps and one of my older ones who did have a closer age gap with siblings said she had appreciated this and would have loved to have had her much younger siblings also around when she was a child

Two years together, this isn't really even a long term relationship - what are your reasons for having another child, that it would be 'both of yours'. Then what happens if you break up - Your two children will lose the two step children from their home (his kids) and you'd have to share custody of the child you had together. I think you have enough going on!

I don't have any personal experience. But we have extended family abroad who are a blended family (one parent with two kids and another parent with two kids. Kids are similar in age and a few years older than yours now. They were probably around 7 and 9 years at the time. The kids are shared with the other half's and the couple had a 5th child themselves. The older kids absolutely love their sibling.. this is a few years ago and everything worked very well for the family. Do what makes you guys happy and only you can decide if it will work for you 🥰