The Dating Thread 58 - will you swoon in June? 🌸🌼🌸

[Nosdacariad]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating
-Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

• If you're wondering if you're being too picky/should give another chance after the second chance/should try harder - the answer is invariably NO! You're not and you shouldn't. If this, now, is as good as it's going to get, the A game, then do you want what comes next?!

-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

Ah… Just go for it! Don’t overthink. What’s the worst that can happen? He sounds really lovely from what you’re describing

Haha - we were full on kissing on first fag break 🙈 - much to my (bit odd) daughter’s disgust, who randomly thought she’d better check if 60 year olds peck at end of night or don’t bother 👀

@EmpireBiscuitswas proper hooked on a not great ex for so long - I just couldn’t summon any interest - I think I said before I had the best first date of my life at one point, in one sense (and it’s now not the best lol) - but still wasn’t my ex so 2nd/3rd dates trialled and a failure - on my side as my head just wasn’t there.

This time around I simply wasn’t so fussed but not due to any ex - but eventually I got to talking and then dates.

I do sometimes think a fresh date can help get past previous- but it’s a guessing game as to whether that will/wont work unfortunately.

You all deserve the very best and will get it 💐

This was also for @duckingcluelessand @TheThingOnTheIce- just my posting and editing skills are shocking 🙈

@empirebiscuits12 what will you do?

I’m going to give things another go and see how it is. Everything else is great, just the chemistry that’s lacking. I know that’s a big thing otherwise we’d just be friends, but I’ll go on another date and take it from there x

He really is lovely! I’m going to give it another go, may be a slow burner which is totally new to me x

Thanks my love 🫶🏻

@empirebiscuits12 did you not fancy him at all?

He’s really attractive. Not my usual type though….he has a beard and I’ve never kissed a bearded man before but it wasn’t as jaggy as I expected 😂 Dressed really on trend etc. I normally go for the rough-around-the-edge guys. But yes I was attracted to him, but no chemistry. I get the feeling he felt it though.

It’s almost as if men come in 2 categories, right? The ones you instantly fancy and write off all their flaws… And the ones that are actually really great with substance but you don’t fancy them straight away!

Is it rare to get both at once? I did meet this one guy at uni that was everything + love at first sight, since then though… One or the other!

Hoping I caught the double this time - no flags to date, lovely in character/person and chemistry wow. But we will see - 2 things to fail as well!

This has never happened before - 2 previous instant chemistry either didn’t get off the ground or burned out quickly - the burn out one there was stuff I didn’t see I think on reflection - blinded by lust!

I have however managed to catch neither - no great chemistry and some flags - overlooked both and mostly some chemistry arrived - probably bed stuff got in the way here tbh.

I think either and either can work but values and no red flags are most important now in my book.

Beards are ok - it’s the potential of food in them freaks me out lol.

If there’s going to be something then it’s just an undefinable thing - catch them doing something you suddenly find really sexy, look at them and realise. Slower burn can be good I think - but as is undefined as instant wow I also think - gives chance to connect on real values though which is good.

@empirebiscuits12 Yes! Just go and then you can be sure if you sack it off it was totally the right choice and on you move. He who dares...

Also, you could meet another man while you're out on said date ....Joking but not

@VaxMerstappen you are right, dating apps probably only work for a small section of men, and they do prey on you by asking you to spend more money.

I do want a girlfriend, and i do want to go on dates. That is why i swipe. Yes you are right, i am swiping right on all women, so around 50 a day. I wish i knew why.

And yes, I should go and do other things. I do have my hobbies. I just feel like i am missing out, when im not dating or seeing someone. I miss all that.

Life is hard.

@Becky3825 it would be really below the belt, if she chatted up another guy, while on a date.

I'm so pleased. You just never know xxx

@empirebiscuits12, I know what you mean about spark. I had so much chemistry with my ex I could have eaten him alive, from the very first moment I laid eyes on him....

I'd kill to have that sort of chemistry again. Instead, I end up sort of feeling vaguely repulsed by a lot of the men I dare, even though I can see they are objectively quite attractive in some cases.

I think you are right to give Finance a second chance. I never do this but I probably should. Chemistry can definitely grow ....

It's all above aboard btw - so peeps know that you're dating other people... So you don't really have to keep track of things very much... But maybe that wasn't what you weren't keen about...

Can I have him! 🤣

Yeah it's just not for me x

I only felt spark with current partner when we kissed.

@empirebiscuits12 what could he have done better, or differently?

It’s not about doing something different or better, it’s just lack of chemistry. Just one of those things, but I’m going to see him again to see if it’s something that can build.

😂😂😂😂 If there’s zero chemistry after the next date then he’s all yours! 🤣