Should I tell a wife about her husband's renewed affair?

[Jane143]

I know a woman who had a serious affair about 5?years ago with a married man. He chose his wife and they finished. He is now contacting her again and they’ve had sex once. I feel the wife should know. Is there a way of doing this anonymously or should I keep my nose out of it?

I agree that it is a hateful act towards another woman, but then I think women can be extremely jealous of other women in general.

I'm sure there will be comments about how ow never think of the wives and it's just about the sex and the love with the men but I don't believe it. To conduct an affair being an ow who fully knows about the wife must have an effect on the affair relationship, to have a love affair that works arround a marriage must bring thoughts of the wife to the ow constantly.

Through arrangements, let downs, even the act of sex, the wife probably goes through their heads, how could it not, you would have to be lobotomised to never think of the ap''s spouse.
I should imagine for some it hurts, for others they will get a huge power thrill, personally I know I couldn't do it, knowingly harming an innocent woman and family would kill all desire, sexually and emotionally.

I have no idea how for some it is a thrill, I could never be took in by some lathario that professed to love me whilst hurtling back to his wife after time together.

I just don't get it at all, are some women so starved of attention, bored, lacking in imagination or life afirming achievements that they consider it a confidence boosting hobby.
I personally can't think of anything worse to give an arsehole of a man a huge ego boost at the expense of a gaslit woman/wife.

Each to their own I suppose.

I think you need to tell her. It’s such a huge betrayal by him and so many people knowing but not telling her would be humiliating. I’d set up a fake email and send her proof, and tell her she’s better than how he’s treating her. Poor woman

If as a society we actually shamed and shun women that cheated with married men we would be a better place. Also married men that cheat should be exposed.

And when you get the likes of Annabel Goldsmith chatting bollox like this, you see how these awful men are enabled.

As the wife and ex-wife of two unfaithful men, she explained her marriage philosophy to The Times in 1987: "I can never understand the wives who really mind, the wives who set such store by fidelity. How extraordinary, and how mad they are. Because, surely, if the man goes out and he comes back, it's not actually doing any harm.

This. I wish I had known. I might not have believed it, at first. But it would have helped me see things which in retrospect were as plain as day.

Infidelity in relationships is one of those things that occurs in actually pretty similar rates for men and women.
Also it's more common than you think that people involved know and have an agreement, whether unspoken or otherwise.
Lots of people just want discretion about it.

I wouldn't lie or cover up for people cheating. I don't like liars, but also I think unless you really know this couple, I think you should either keep out of it entirely, or find a way to say it that didn't make her embarrassed or under pressure if she was just hoping for discretion