The Dating Thread 57 - The Darling Buds

[Nosdacariad]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating
-Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

• If you're wondering if you're being too picky/should give another chance after the second chance/should try harder - the answer is invariably NO! You're not and you shouldn't. If this, now, is as good as it's going to get, the A game, then do you want what comes next?!

-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

What does that stand for? But yes, I get that he has childcare commitments and I don’t. However the whole thing has given me the massive ick!

Been a lot of updates and I’m getting lost in them so apologies, but how are you getting on? 🙂

It stands for Burned Haystack Dating Method.

I'm good thanks. Planes has a few red flags so it's a watching brief right now.

Ooh interesting, I’ll need to look that up.

Aw he had such potential too. Keeping my fingers crossed for you! 🙂

Planes' mom wanting to see his bank statements (and him letting her!) is a definite red flag.....and a weird one at that ..... How did it come up in conversation?

My mom can be pretty nosey, and I can't imagine a scenario in which she would think she was entitled to this (or that I would agree with it!)

Has she maybe bailed him out in the past? Even if she has, helping your kids out doesn't mean you get full financial control over their future.....

It's a strange one!

And could you imagine if things got more serious in the future, like really serious? How much would the possible future MIL want to know in terms of shared finances etc?

For what it’s worth I think all of us have certain “red flags” and if we ditch everyone who has some then you might miss out on something with potential.

I get that his mum wanting to see his bank details etc might seem a bit odd but tbf my parents can try and overbearing in a “helpful” way.

If you like him and it’s not affecting the connection etc then I think some things can be let slide.

I have an iron! Will wonders never cease!

Meeting Mr Mullet on Wednesday (although he did ask for Sunday but I'm having a very ill advised fireman visit 🤦🏻‍♀️). Very funny, good Comms, seems to have his life together. We will see if I get ghosted again 🤣

Hope everyone is hanging in there!

Oooh super exciting! Love hearing of new irons 🫶🏻 Sounds promising so far!

So I went on 1 date with someone about 6 weeks ago, we initially agreed to meet again but I cancelled, said I didn’t want to stay in touch and blocked, because he became super intense over messages …. has now started following me on Instagram (he did not know my surname and I have no clue how he found me on there)

why why why why why 🤦‍♀️

Block!! And if possible, find him on FB and get him blocked there too if you use it.

Some men just don’t know how to take no for an answer. I can imagine you got quite a shock seeing his name come up?

Ive got quite an unusual surname so I can imagine it wouldn’t be too difficult for someone to find me online.

Recently IG has suggested 2 long ago exes , long before I had my current email address or before I had an iPhone
and a neighbour from when I was a kid who I’ve never had contact details for
these we’re all suggested in the same day and has me baffled
none has friends in common
you probably came up on his as he had your number saved

Oh it also suggested members of Mr Perverts family who I have blocked (him) and never had their contact details
i find it really weird

Ah that makes sense. I don’t post on IG so there’s no info on there and I’m not worried. I think he’s harmless, I just don’t get it and wouldn’t want to follow or be friends on social media with anyone I’ve dated or is an ex!

Hate things like that - so creepy. Why can't they just accept that a block is a block for a reason?

That's exciting - both Mullet and your fireman visit. Is Fireman an FWB?

I have caved and invited my FWB over tonight. I will obviously stop seeing him once I am dating properly (should that day ever dawn) but I just feel a bit starved of sex and affection right now.....

He's made it very clear he will never be interested in a relationship with me, and it wouldn't work anyway, but the sex is great I have to say.....

@Ilovelurchers he's the world's flakiest FWB and I wonder daily why I haven't blocked him 🫠 but it's been a while so 🤣

No judgement here.....

Somerimes the sex justifies it!

As long as you can keep your deeper feelings out of it as much as possible .... That (for me) is always the risk, and it's why I see my FWB somewhat sparingly.....

He didn't let her x

@CleanShirt so glad to hear your update!

No judgement here! Hope the date on Wed goes well 🙂

So my date with Mr Producers went well, he's as warm and friendly in person as his messages suggested.

We went for a coffee then walked around afterwards (pretty town near both of us) - he knew so many people!! No lightning strike but I feel comfortable with him - we'll arrange another date after he's back from travel for work next week.

Bloody Hell. Do they all wake up on a lonely Friday. Match I liked but very low response has just gone into overdrive. Mr Totally dude. Invited me to watch a game with his dad tomorrow! I’m busy. He’s hot AND age appropriate 🤞

Love this update! Are you going to try arrange something else with him?

You know what, I might have a new iron 🤗 Been messaging a guy since this afternoon and so far he seems quite nice 🤞🏻 Hopefully I’ve not spoken too soon though!

Ooooh ❤️❤️❤️❤️