Page 26 | The Dating Thread 57 - The Darling Buds

Nosdacariad · 2026-04-24T11:32:32+00:00

The Rules: -The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating -Develop a thick skin -Do not invest emotionally too soon -It’s all BS until it actually happens -Trust your gut instinct -People vanishing, lying &amp; being generally weird is not your fault -Know your worth -If it's not fun, stop -Loo update is mandatory -No dating the thread -Treat others as you'd like to be treated -Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with -The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future - If you're wondering if you're being too picky/should give another chance after the second chance/should try harder - the answer is invariably NO! You're not and you shouldn't. If this, now, is as good as it's going to get, the A game, then do you want what comes next?! -OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

Ilovelurchers · 13/05/2026 16:54

Becky3825 · 13/05/2026 11:02

Joining after long time lurking and having a good six months off the 'apps'. Had a lot of personal growth to do and was really focusing on finding a job (newly qualified nurse). Feeling very fit and healthy, mind and body, and positive about myself now so felt ready for the inevitable shit show that can be OLD. Any hint though of it breaking my spirit I will take a break again, even a short one to reset sort of thing and get perspective.

I'm 39 and a single parent to 4 children, though first daughter is 16 so pretty independent. The other three are only 8, and twin girls who are 5 and a half. They go to their dads Friday till Sunday so the weekend is my 'dating window'.

Rejoined Hinge 2 days ago and done some swiping. Used up all my 'likes' for past two days now so guess that is 10 I have shown interest in.

Hi Becky, just wanted to join in the welcomes, and well done for sorting the career stuff - I have SO much respect for nurses - you are a special breed of human beings!

OLD can indeed be a cess-pit, but this is a lovely place to get support and humour, and realise that it's not just you when all your lovely matches turn into sex-pests before your very eyes!

Ilovelurchers · 13/05/2026 16:58

I've just done some serious swiping, as neither of my current irons are really doing it for me - Mr NHS wants non-exclusivity, which is not my long term goal (in many other ways we are a good match, so it's a shame); and Mr Cats is sweet and keen, but he's just not doing it for me somehow - I think it's because he is very young and innocent looking, and I'm attracted to a slightly more grizzled type!

I've matched with and messaged 8 potential irons - no messages back yet, but that could be the time of day. I have decided to try to be a bit more ruthless - cut them off sooner if I know they are not for me, however nice they are......

Wish me luck!

Ilovelurchers · 13/05/2026 16:59

rubberduck68 · 13/05/2026 13:09

I've been unwell, horrible virus. Prior to that Mr Soughdough really upped his game post the deleting Hinge chat and initiated back-back dates for many days in a row. I do wonder if he was waiting to know how I felt, and the Hinge chat sort of set that in stone. Anyway, he's been amazing during my illness - constant checking in every day and I feel that although it's only three months-ish, we might be something rather than nothing.

Fabulous news on Sourdough!

empirebiscuits12 · 13/05/2026 17:39

Ilovelurchers · 13/05/2026 16:58

I've just done some serious swiping, as neither of my current irons are really doing it for me - Mr NHS wants non-exclusivity, which is not my long term goal (in many other ways we are a good match, so it's a shame); and Mr Cats is sweet and keen, but he's just not doing it for me somehow - I think it's because he is very young and innocent looking, and I'm attracted to a slightly more grizzled type!

I've matched with and messaged 8 potential irons - no messages back yet, but that could be the time of day. I have decided to try to be a bit more ruthless - cut them off sooner if I know they are not for me, however nice they are......

Wish me luck!

WOW! You’ve been busy! And popular!! 🤩 Surely there must be a “normal” one in amongst them?!

What is “normal” anyway?! 😂

BoxOfCats · 13/05/2026 18:39

Ilovelurchers · 13/05/2026 16:58

I've just done some serious swiping, as neither of my current irons are really doing it for me - Mr NHS wants non-exclusivity, which is not my long term goal (in many other ways we are a good match, so it's a shame); and Mr Cats is sweet and keen, but he's just not doing it for me somehow - I think it's because he is very young and innocent looking, and I'm attracted to a slightly more grizzled type!

I've matched with and messaged 8 potential irons - no messages back yet, but that could be the time of day. I have decided to try to be a bit more ruthless - cut them off sooner if I know they are not for me, however nice they are......

Wish me luck!

Good luck! It’s a numbers game after all. But great to be ruthless!

BoxOfCats · 13/05/2026 18:40

rubberduck68 · 13/05/2026 13:09

I've been unwell, horrible virus. Prior to that Mr Soughdough really upped his game post the deleting Hinge chat and initiated back-back dates for many days in a row. I do wonder if he was waiting to know how I felt, and the Hinge chat sort of set that in stone. Anyway, he's been amazing during my illness - constant checking in every day and I feel that although it's only three months-ish, we might be something rather than nothing.

Sorry to hear you’ve not been well. Lovely update though, sounds like it’s going really well! So pleased for you.

BoxOfCats · 13/05/2026 18:42

Polly1979 · 12/05/2026 23:19

I hate the pulling teeth conversations. Just painful. I’ve one iron, Mr Footy who’s a bit like that. Keeping things at a very superficial level and when I ask questions to dig a bit deeper gives brief responses followed by ‘how’s your day?’ Doesn’t seem interested in finding out more about me though mentioned about meeting for drinks some time.

Then there’s Mr Cyclist who seems like a genuinely nice guy. Better chats with him but I wouldn’t say we have loads in common and he lives quite far.

Finally, Mr Noodles, the one I’m meeting later this week. It’s totally different with him - loads to talk about and we seem to have a real rapport. Trying not to build my hopes up too much though as I’ve been here before with getting on with someone brilliantly but when we actually met there was nothing there at all.

Its nice to be excited about going on a date though - the last one I was dreading but left it too late to cancel (turned out fine in the end but no spark).

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Wishing you luck for your date with Mr Noodles! Great to hear you’re looking forward to it.

BoxOfCats · 13/05/2026 18:52

I was in the office yesterday and cute colleague Mr Social was asking me quite a few questions about who I’m dating and whether the dates are going anywhere. I was pretty open that I am dating people but it’s not really going anywhere with any of them. Sadly I have pulled out of applying for an external job as the salary wasn’t worthwhile, so I guess we are stuck as colleagues for the foreseeable.

Had a chat with Mr Nomad, he will be living a short flight away until August and there are no plans to meet while he’s there. I asked him what he wanted to happen with us now and he said he hadn’t thought that far ahead. I said I was finding it hard to be emotionally invested given the current situation and he said he felt the same and asked me what I wanted to do. I said I wasn’t sure but let’s see what happens in the next few weeks after my house sale is sorted.

Mr Charismatic surprised me by inviting me for dinner on Tuesday night, we normally only see each other every 2 weeks and on a weekend. I’d seen him last Friday so it was unusually soon to be seeing him again. Damn the man is an amazing cook. And we had a really lovely evening, it felt like we connected on a deeper level, although im under no illusion it’s going anywhere.

I am also back on the apps but no real irons to speak of for now…

Ilovelurchers · 13/05/2026 20:08

BoxOfCats · 13/05/2026 18:52

I was in the office yesterday and cute colleague Mr Social was asking me quite a few questions about who I’m dating and whether the dates are going anywhere. I was pretty open that I am dating people but it’s not really going anywhere with any of them. Sadly I have pulled out of applying for an external job as the salary wasn’t worthwhile, so I guess we are stuck as colleagues for the foreseeable.

Had a chat with Mr Nomad, he will be living a short flight away until August and there are no plans to meet while he’s there. I asked him what he wanted to happen with us now and he said he hadn’t thought that far ahead. I said I was finding it hard to be emotionally invested given the current situation and he said he felt the same and asked me what I wanted to do. I said I wasn’t sure but let’s see what happens in the next few weeks after my house sale is sorted.

Mr Charismatic surprised me by inviting me for dinner on Tuesday night, we normally only see each other every 2 weeks and on a weekend. I’d seen him last Friday so it was unusually soon to be seeing him again. Damn the man is an amazing cook. And we had a really lovely evening, it felt like we connected on a deeper level, although im under no illusion it’s going anywhere.

I am also back on the apps but no real irons to speak of for now…

What are your feelings for Nomad and Charismatic - do you feel you are in love with either of them? Or could be? How would you feel if you couldn't see either of them again?

I was just wondering because (certainly for me) it's easy to get swept up with things, and sometimes it can help to stand back and really analyse ones' feelings.

If both were to turn up on your doorstep tonight with a bunch of flowers, tickets to Paris and monogamous intent, would you say yes to either?

(Just want to stress there is NO judgement here, at all! And you may of course not want to answer.). X

Ilovelurchers · 13/05/2026 20:12

BoxOfCats · 13/05/2026 18:39

Good luck! It’s a numbers game after all. But great to be ruthless!

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Staggeringly (or not) of my eight matches, not a single one has replied to my initial message.

That has to be a record, surely? My Bumble account feels like it's in a zombie apocalypse. I'd even take a dick pic at this point! (I mean, not really, but...)

Original poster

Nosdacariad · 13/05/2026 20:17

@rubberduck68 🐤great update!

@Ilovelurchers 🐕that's very frustrating.

@BoxOfCats you are having an interesting time 🐈‍⬛️🐈

@Becky3825 welcome 💐

OP posts:

NervesOfCotton · 13/05/2026 20:55

Ilovelurchers · 13/05/2026 20:12

Staggeringly (or not) of my eight matches, not a single one has replied to my initial message.

That has to be a record, surely? My Bumble account feels like it's in a zombie apocalypse. I'd even take a dick pic at this point! (I mean, not really, but...)

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It's like that for me on Hinge. I have mad binges where I use up all of my swipes, & don't get a single reply.

Polly1979 · 13/05/2026 22:34

duckingclueless · 13/05/2026 09:04

How did you get the chat going? I try to finish with open questions but the chat drifts into nonsense questions if they actually manage that much. Most just answer. Then what have you got on today. Are they just dull??

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He just asked me lots of questions about myself and seemed genuinely interested in finding out more. We seem to have a fair few shared interests, which helps as if you struggle to find common ground the conversation can end up drier than the Sahara.

Maybe these current ones are just dull and you need to get swiping again? Do they say much about themselves on their profiles? I find low effort profiles generally equate to low effort conversations.

Original poster

Nosdacariad · 13/05/2026 22:36

Planes waa supposed to call tonight...

OP posts:

Polly1979 · 13/05/2026 22:39

rubberduck68 · 13/05/2026 13:09

I've been unwell, horrible virus. Prior to that Mr Soughdough really upped his game post the deleting Hinge chat and initiated back-back dates for many days in a row. I do wonder if he was waiting to know how I felt, and the Hinge chat sort of set that in stone. Anyway, he's been amazing during my illness - constant checking in every day and I feel that although it's only three months-ish, we might be something rather than nothing.

That’s a lovely update @rubberduck68. Sounds like he’s really stepped up. :)

Polly1979 · 13/05/2026 22:39

Nosdacariad · 13/05/2026 22:36

Planes waa supposed to call tonight...

Oh no. When did you last hear from him?

empirebiscuits12 · 13/05/2026 23:45

Nosdacariad · 13/05/2026 22:36

Planes waa supposed to call tonight...

🥲 Hopefully something has just come up?

BoxOfCats · 14/05/2026 06:31

Ilovelurchers · 13/05/2026 20:08

What are your feelings for Nomad and Charismatic - do you feel you are in love with either of them? Or could be? How would you feel if you couldn't see either of them again?

I was just wondering because (certainly for me) it's easy to get swept up with things, and sometimes it can help to stand back and really analyse ones' feelings.

If both were to turn up on your doorstep tonight with a bunch of flowers, tickets to Paris and monogamous intent, would you say yes to either?

(Just want to stress there is NO judgement here, at all! And you may of course not want to answer.). X

Show quote history

That’s a very good question and one I’ve been pondering all day (different time zone here).

Mr Nomad is a lovely guy but I don’t think I’m in love with him. I would genuinely love to have him as a friend even if we weren’t seeing each other. I’ve probably stuck with it this long because he’s very present (wants to chat every day) and I appreciate his companionship and emotional support. The sex is also great.

I admittedly have a massive weak spot for Mr Charismatic. He definitely makes my heart beat faster and I think we are probably more similar in terms of values, personality and lifestyle. I do think the chances of him ever wanting a relationship are 0.001% though. As I’m moving literally 2 mins from him in July, in some ways it still works for me to maintain a casual relationship with him for the time being. I don’t want a husband, kids or live in partner.

Ilovelurchers · 14/05/2026 07:31

Nosdacariad · 13/05/2026 22:36

Planes waa supposed to call tonight...

Hope you hear something today. Keeping everything crossed for you. X

Original poster

Nosdacariad · 14/05/2026 07:44

Thanks everyone 💐

✈️🛫fell asleep he says and was sorry and arranged two extra dates so 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:

NervesOfCotton · 14/05/2026 08:08

Nosdacariad · 14/05/2026 07:44

Thanks everyone 💐

✈️🛫fell asleep he says and was sorry and arranged two extra dates so 🤷‍♀️

Aah. I'm glad that you heard from him. Did he seem genuine?

OneShyQuail · 14/05/2026 08:38

@rubberduck68 omg was it loke a horrible dry cough for weeks and a sore throat that wont go?! I haven't been right on and off for a month so tired, no energy, bloody awful. Hope your perking up i think I just about am! Good update though really pleased for you 😀

@Becky3825 welcome! This is such a supportive place it will help with the savagery of OLD! Im an honorary member really im not single so shouldn't be here 🤭 but @Nosdacariad is the boss and lets me stay 😘 such a wonderful group of women i love reading everyone's updates and solidarity. Congrats on the nurse training! My mum is a retired nurse, I certainly couldnt do it! Although people say that about my job too (teaching)

@Nosdacariad glad he got in touch and seemingly made up for it

In other news - why has May not got the memo to warm up?! 🥶🌧

duckingclueless · 14/05/2026 08:52

Polly1979 · 13/05/2026 22:34

He just asked me lots of questions about myself and seemed genuinely interested in finding out more. We seem to have a fair few shared interests, which helps as if you struggle to find common ground the conversation can end up drier than the Sahara.

Maybe these current ones are just dull and you need to get swiping again? Do they say much about themselves on their profiles? I find low effort profiles generally equate to low effort conversations.

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I think I’ve picked some dull ones. I think I need to kill these chats. I feel guilty. One seems quite sweet. Mr Balkans is feeling dodgy in my gut. Chat got anaylised chatGPT said not necessarily and give it time. I quieried when he wanted to go on a date. He suggested going out of town (we both live centrally) like a 90 min drive!!! I know he does some side sort or restaurant supplier work so it could just be that he’s owed a free meal. Said no. In town. Friday is a possibility but don’t k what to do now if he does.

BoxOfCats · 14/05/2026 10:01

@Nosdacariad Awww… phew!

MsJinks · 14/05/2026 11:39

BoxOfCats · 14/05/2026 06:31

That’s a very good question and one I’ve been pondering all day (different time zone here).

Mr Nomad is a lovely guy but I don’t think I’m in love with him. I would genuinely love to have him as a friend even if we weren’t seeing each other. I’ve probably stuck with it this long because he’s very present (wants to chat every day) and I appreciate his companionship and emotional support. The sex is also great.

I admittedly have a massive weak spot for Mr Charismatic. He definitely makes my heart beat faster and I think we are probably more similar in terms of values, personality and lifestyle. I do think the chances of him ever wanting a relationship are 0.001% though. As I’m moving literally 2 mins from him in July, in some ways it still works for me to maintain a casual relationship with him for the time being. I don’t want a husband, kids or live in partner.

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I mean that could be an awesome relationship- own space and fella so close when you need him!

I kinda want the same thing - but I do want them, if it’s ongoing, to be totally in it and committed - like living apart together or a little less but at least having your back and sharing the best parts of your lives, but being there for the worst as well - guess that’s what you would prefer is it? Is there no chance of that with Mr Charismatic? Does he just perhaps not want all the living together of a relationship? Or any of it? Or one sometime never as he thinks now?

At least he has a fab coffee machine - and on your doorstep soon lol!

Mr Nomad is easier isn’t he - cos he doesn’t make your heart sing - seems a great friend/fallback fun guy till you get what you’re looking for though - and I normally counsel against as ‘feelz’, but you’ve escaped that one I think.

Best of luck 🍀