Is it time to end relationship over blended family parenting differences?

[Talia37]

Is it time to call it quits?? Blended family issues.

I’ve been with my partner for 6 years, living together on and off as he has had different careers.
I have 2 children 19 and 15. There has been several issues over the years with his opinions on parenting being very different to mine (he has no children).
He likes to take the stricter approach however my children are very well behaved. My eldest is hard working and has a great career. Neither have ever been in trouble at school or outside of school, they are respectful and kind.
Our most recent issue is my daughter having friends over-on occasions.
I feel as though he constantly tries to control different aspects and when I disagree I get endless messages/conversations regarding his fews.

The last straw was recently when my daughter popped into our home with 3 friends for 20 minutes whilst she got changed.
Hes against this and I got several narky messages about how our house isn’t a doss house and if u let it happen it will be.

I’ve always had a laid back approach to friends coming over. I think it’s important and at least they’re not out on the streets. They are lovely kids too.

I’ve had enough of being stuck in the middle and have done several things to try to compromise but he’s never happy.

AIBU to stick to my guns and get out this relationship? I feel like my child’s happiness and last bit of childhood shouldn’t be tainted.

Sounds miserable for the kids and for you!

This isn’t a blended family issue as he doesn’t have kids. You have a controlling partner interfering with your parenting issue. Yes I agree you should get rid and make a happy peaceful home for you and your children.

Absolutely this. He’s an arse.

Tell him to go forth and multiply .........

Yes end it. I’d tell him to sod off!

There’s no blending here.

He’s probably already done untold damage over their formative years. Why, only as one is an adult and the other is almost one, are you finally addressing this?

What?! Sounds like he doesn’t want to see or hear your children - who btw don’t sound like they’re doing anything wrong!

Bin him he sounds like a shit.

I couldn’t be with someone who treated my children like this.

You sound like a lovely mum, with a home your children feel safe and relaxed in. Get rid of him.

You don't paint him in a very good light. Tell him to move out. Is it your house?

You could always keep dating him out of the house if he does indeed have some redeeming features.

I can only hope your children have not been on the receiving end of his thoughts

Are they intimidated by him? I’m worried that the damage is already done!

Whst about when you have grandchildren etc

Just get rid of this abusive twat and stop him ruining what’s left of their childhood. How could you allow this to go on for so long?

Him not having kids means that this is not a blended family. This is you moving a bf in who is abusive.

LTB before he does irreparable damage to your relationship with your kids.

It's sad (genuinely, not being snarky) that you even have to question it. Why do so many women doubt themselves standing up to mens bullshit behaviour!

So do I!

You certainly shouldn't allow him to live in the same house as your children.. if you like him enough to keep on seeing him outside the home, that's up to you.

My exh had no respect for my dc..
Your dp needs gone imo .
Trust me your dc will thank you for it...

Get rid! This will never improve. When the kids move out, he'll find another way to control what you do. God forbid you have grandchildren who want to visit.

Yeah I’d be off. They are your kids and I’m not saying he doesnt have some input if they live with him but they are allowed to have friends and sociable. I’d rather that than them rolling around the streets. The kids would be much happier not living with him. X

In the bin!

Definately put the children first and remove him

This is what's going on. You haven't blended families, you moved a controlling partner in with teen girls and from my own experience, that's a really, really bad idea. He's excessively strict and unpleasant and controlling and it's time for him to go. Or your kids will.

you are 100% right to end this relationship.

Imagine being 13 and 9 and your mother inflicting this areshole on you. And then 6 damaging years later she decides she’s had enough. What a life eh.

Your kids sound normal and aren’t doing anything wrong

This isn’t a blended family issue, this is you subjecting your children to 6 years (some of their most fundamental at that) of this toxic man, it’s a you issue.