Is it time to end relationship over blended family parenting differences?

[Talia37]

Is it time to call it quits?? Blended family issues.

I’ve been with my partner for 6 years, living together on and off as he has had different careers.
I have 2 children 19 and 15. There has been several issues over the years with his opinions on parenting being very different to mine (he has no children).
He likes to take the stricter approach however my children are very well behaved. My eldest is hard working and has a great career. Neither have ever been in trouble at school or outside of school, they are respectful and kind.
Our most recent issue is my daughter having friends over-on occasions.
I feel as though he constantly tries to control different aspects and when I disagree I get endless messages/conversations regarding his fews.

The last straw was recently when my daughter popped into our home with 3 friends for 20 minutes whilst she got changed.
Hes against this and I got several narky messages about how our house isn’t a doss house and if u let it happen it will be.

I’ve always had a laid back approach to friends coming over. I think it’s important and at least they’re not out on the streets. They are lovely kids too.

I’ve had enough of being stuck in the middle and have done several things to try to compromise but he’s never happy.

AIBU to stick to my guns and get out this relationship? I feel like my child’s happiness and last bit of childhood shouldn’t be tainted.

Maybe @Talia37 you should celebrate once he’s gone and have a house party with all your teens friends!

A friend has had to do this. Her marriage broke up she met a new man he seemed nice but he was too strict and harsh to her two teens. She prioritised them and ended the relationship.

You’re doing the right thing - well done and I hope his moving out goes without incident.

💐

I'd end the relationship over this. He has no right to be putting his foot down. And this attitude is only going to escalate and move into other areas. Make the split now before you find yourself and your children coerced and controlled fully further down the line.

Absolutely not unreasonable, it's her house too and she is entitled to invite her friends over. My Dd used to have sleepovers with 5 or 6 friends for birthdays, you have raised good children so trust your instincts on this one.

It's your daughters home too, she should feel like she can have a few friends around, 20 mins or more without this.
Am sorry OP, he doesn't sound much fun for any of you.

Yes I think you're right .. you have completely different approaches and its great your daughter pops in with her friends and they wait for her this should be encouraged its all very normal ... I think you no the answer to this.

Honestly i would not have a man tell me what is right for my children and if you stay he is clearly setting out his rules. It’s a Goodbye for me.

Well done for ending the relationship, you are in the right here. It will also be a wake up call for him. He's obviously not of the right disposition to be with someone who has children, I daresay he can't help how he feels.

It will be sad for you, Talia37, I've no doubt you are a lot for this man and you have said he has many good points. I am sorry it has come to this but you've given him a chance and he could have made more of an effort.

I'm amazed he found somewhere to go so quickly! That is good though.

I wish you all the best for the future.

Why did you inflict this man on your kids?
Ladies do better ffs

I'd end it tbh, sounds like too much stress and as he's not got his own children his attitude won't change any time soon!

I love it when our kids turn up with friends. The conversations are hilarious. The kids are all well behaved etc. Like you, no problems and we encourage them to be adult and make their own arrangements and for home to feel it is theirs too

this man is a controlling tosser. Imagine what he’ll be like when there are grandkids around etc. bin him now

Well done for ending it.

This.

@Talia37

I’m glad you’ve ended things.

Enjoy your peace!!

Also this.