(TW SA) Continuing support & sharing things…

[PinkPoetAgaiin]

Hi again everyone,

Making a new thread as some of the lovely ladies who have been supporting me for over a month now suggested I can continue to share my thoughts & feelings dealing with sexual & financial abuse (& other things) from my husband who I’ve been with since I was 18 (15 years).

Will be on and off for a bit as young DC is unwell at the moment and that’s taking all my energy.

I am not yet at the point of leaving - please don’t shout at me for being a bad mum. I did get a lot of criticism on my last thread for not getting them out immediately and I just can’t for reasons I explained.

Life feels heavy, but I’m focusing on DC at the moment ❤️

@PinkPoetAgaiin Dear Poet, I really hope you're okay today and that the event was bearable 💐

Thinking the same and I hope you and the dc are safe and remain so x

I'm not putting my password in that link and I wouldn't recommend anyone else to either.

Day went well and kids had a good day.
I am in a terribly anxious state because I’m bed this evening he said a direct quote from one of your replies .
It was a ‘saying’ - could have been a coincidence but it made my blood run cold that he’s somehow found this and is fucking with me

Remember that if he has read this thread then he will know that your friend knows about it too, and that you have also confided in your therapist and additionally to Women's Aid.

You are not alone in this anymore, there are multiple people in real life who know what is really going on in your home and these are strong forms of insurance to protect you from him.

If you are in real fear then do not hesitate to dial 999.

I hope it’s a coincidence but I get it about you blood running cold. Please keep clearing your browsers ect and try not to disappear from us as we be worried about you :(
If you are very fearful do not hesitate to call 999. Stay safe x

What was the saying? Probably a coincidence x

Does he have access to any of your email accounts? Is it possible you can have it enabled where your email address receives a notification if a message has been sent to you on this platform?

Is anything like that likely?

Have you got a pass code for your phone , not just a thumbprint or face recognition?

I was thinking that he may well be reading the thread because he has been quite restrained for him lately.

It's unlikely he's read if, but if he has, he knows you've confided in others, he knows you are now aware of how wrong his actions are and that he's a rapist. He might be angry, but he's also in a vulnerable position, because your starting to fight against this, even if you aren't strong enough to say the words yet. He knows that if he did anything to you, then you've got a written account of things he's done, and so he's less likely to try anything, because it all links back to him now.

I think it’s unlikely honestly, have you ever seen him reading mumsnet. Sayings are very commonly used and known by most. What were the circumstances and what was said?

I think you’d know already if he’d read your thread here, he wouldn’t have been able to keep a lid on his reaction.

I don’t understand why it’s asking for a password. I hope it hasn’t linked to my facebook rather than just the video. I’ll try a different way.

It's quite a well-known saying. Very apt for his behaviour to you.

I'd just continue being very careful.
Don't mumsnet if he might walk in on you.

Without sounding presumptuous, did he try and assist you again?

That isn’t a phrase that I recognise from on here. I doubt very much that he could contain himself if he read this. I doubt he’d be that subtle if he wanted to fuck with your mind. However, your realisation of his behaviours is increasing. I’m not sure how long you can keep this up. That’s why WA support is crucial.

He said that to you?? With reference to sex?
Wow he is really showing you who he is!

It was in response to me telling him that he shouldn’t touch me sexually during every cuddle and he is supposed to ask before waking me up with sexual contact

He said it in a ‘jokey’ way
I just panicked because I’m sure someone has said that to me and I wondered if he was messing with my head on purpose.

But hopefully it’s just a coincidence

I watched a film last night and they said it in that! (Thursday Murder Club). Fairly common phrase...

That’s very brazen of him because in that context he’s basically saying he’s sexually assaulting you and thinks that’s fine.

You don’t have to answer but is he in computing, or into gaming, or even just on LinkedIn? Thinking of areas where that phrase might crop up more regularly.

I really think if he had read here with everyone telling you he’s a rapist he wouldn’t make a ‘joke’ like that.

I hope you’re ok Pink Poet. I remember the quote being used and thought it was in reference to The Game. I might have recalled wrong but it might explain his reference. Either way it’s still messing with your head because he’s taunting you by telling you he knows exactly what he’s doing but is suggesting he thinks you won’t/can’t do anything about it

That is a very common phrase. And it’s very unpleasant.
Please keep posting.
And by the way if a man walked up to a woman in public and groped her, using that phrase as defence would be an affront to the law.
It is so insulting to you as individual person with your own body, which yours alone. It is not his to abuse.