Continuing AIBU thread 3

[PithyBeaker]

More of the same, and thanks for your support

I have her number and I promise I will get straight in touch w her if any issues but I think unnecessary to make that call yet.

Have let a friend in the village know just in case I want her or her DP to swing by. But I think it is very very unlikely to get that ugly. It's fine, guys. It’s going to be painful and guilt ridden but I’m prepared.

Hi OP
the time for his visit is almost here, just wanted to wish you well. I have such admiration for you - you're an example to all of how to be strong and firm with your boundaries but not sacrifice any part of yourself (your empathetic/reasonable/considered and fair approach to contact with him). What has happened has been horrible and it has hurt you but you are steadfast and are not letting this experience change who you are - you really do rock! 💐

You don’t need to feel guilty, his children have two loving parents. All they’ve lost out on is more space 50% of the time. If anything, he’ll need to step up more for them which is a good thing.

Is this the day your lovely cleaners comes over?

@PithyBeaker If he tries to engage with you about anything beyond the beds, don't hesitate to remind you are both on a tight schedule.

Good luck for this morning 💐

Today will be really tough but you've got this.

I think him having to parent without any backup in his place might be the best thing for all of them as well as you and your son.

When all their stuff is gone, you and your son can make your home yours for the first time.

I'm hoping all is well today.

How have you been so far @PithyBeaker, I can understand if you're still feeling a bit sad about the separation, 5 years is a long time to be in a relationship, but have you sat back with a cuppa in hand thinking how nice it feels living in a house that's neither messy or chaotic?

Well done OP you have handled everything respectfully and well…including some posters comments trying to turn this into an episode of Jeremy Kyle.

All good! He just left, totally fine and peaceful. Took the beds and a bunch of other stuff, lots of talk about his flat. He seems to be coping and I am feeling really proud of him tbh

It feels WONDERFUL

Definitely the best thing for each and every one of us

Tomorrow 😅😅😅👏👏👏

All sounds like it's gone well OP 😊

Cleaner comes tomorrow?
Yippee Kye Yaaaay!!! 🙌 🧼 😆
Edited to add: well done, you have been a legend. 😎 @PithyBeaker

So relieved for you that the time went smoothly @PithyBeaker

I hope your home will feel truly yours soon; a safe sanctuary for you and your DS.

That's really great that he's embracing the move! I agree that your very painful decision was the best thing for ALL of you.

Chapeau to you for how you've handled the whole thing 👏👏👏

If he's seeming happy do you think that means he's got his ex to let him move back in and he's just not telling you?

Congratulations OP!!! I think you and this thread win the MN awards for:

Being the most consistently interesting and intelligent thread(s) to emerge out of AIBU

Showing the swiftest evolution of the OP from "hmm, what's this" to "oh, that's what it is" and taking action

The swiftest happy ending, minus drama!

It could be, you never know, the making of this man. Let’s hope so, for the sake of his children.
OP has managed it really well.

It's clear reading your posts how much you have under estimated yourself in all of this.

You don't need him or any man in your home.

You can absolutely do it with your son, in your clean, tidy, peaceful, organised home.

Together but living apart is a great set up for the women I know that do it.

They have all of the best bits and none of the expectations and over familiarity that kills so many relationships.

I really hope you savour this new set up and protect it zealously.

You sound so positive @PithyBeaker its great to hear ❤️ so pleased your ex is getting the flat ready for his DC.
I hope your son had a fantastic birthday and sleepover x

I'm happy things went so smoothly @PithyBeaker . And it shows how kind and generous you are feeling happy for him coping. There are 3 children involved so ofcourse it's for the best that their dad is handling this with resolve. He was a useless partner but I hope he will step up to be a good father to his kids. He does seem to care for them and taking action to put everything in place for them to his credit.