Continuing AIBU thread 3

[PithyBeaker]

More of the same, and thanks for your support

You sound like a strong, kind, intelligent woman.
You were doing amazingly when you first kicked him out but reading his many nasty messages has chipped away at your confidence. It’s sad to read you getting worn down.
HE is making you feel bad about yourself. Stop listening to him.
Please please please block him.
Give him your email to arrange a speedy collection of his stuff and stop listening to him. It is harming you.

@PithyBeaker - also please remember ’every accusation is a confession’. Everything he accuses you of is his guilt.

Oh my love this is just more of the script!!

What men fear is being laughed at. He knows he’s been a fool so he has to DARVO.

Worship? He couldn't be bothered to bring you a damn cup of coffee or go on a walk.He let his kids trash your home to the point of shitty toilets. He was such a slack partner you had to ask him to leave and your life instantly improved. You're a better parent. You headed off the potential for him to cuckoo your son.

He's reframing you asking him to move out to his buds as you taking advantage of him (which is obviously ridiculous) and if that isn't projection, I don't know what is. He's poisoning the well with his friends and likely his family about you and I think you know what that means for your hope of staying in some kind of relationship with him. He'd rather spend his time bitching and moaning about you making him leave the cozy nest he had found for he and his kids instead of taking a hard look at where and how bad he fucked that nest up. He will never do that because he's the type of guy who looks for someone to blame and then he can play the victim.

He fumbled the best thing to happen to him.

You and your son will be seeing Paris and sailing and maybe doing some more climbing and making memories for a lifetime.

@goody2shooz STOP listening to Captain Chaos the fucktrumpet

Still laughing out loud at this 😂

Copied from @Littlejellyuk post ❤️ as I think you need to print this or even get the words made on a fridge magnet!

The truth was, she was always enough, and she could fly high, but she could never spread her wings and soar, whilst he was pulling her down to drown in the sea below.

He cannot face the enormity of his own fuckup in taking you for granted. If he could, then he could repair/ he cannot face what he did/n’t do so he can’t repair it. He must now live without and deep down he knows that it’s entirely on him, but that’s too difficult so he has to make it your fault.

you’ll be ok pithy, you’re strong. Your lad will be ok, he has a fantastic role model. Your ex will be the same at 80 as he is now at 30, he won’t grow. You won’t miss him for long.

None of this is your fault @PithyBeaker. Keep coming back for as long as you need to and we will keep reminding you until you believe it.

God this is so familiar. The memory blur. I feel the same way about my children's early years... it is almost impossible to consciously conjure memories...they come back to me by accident when I see a particular object, or remember a news story - always a sideways thing and then some nice stuff (thankfully) does come back.

@Hillfarmer I'm sorry that you experienced this too. You disassociate to the point where you will see a photo of yourself back then and all you can really remember is owning the outfit you were wearing. It's disturbing.

This is why I hope the op will be kinder to herself , her body and mind have been through a lot and deserve a mental break from the fucktrumpet.

I was reading your posts thinking ‘Oh he’s blaming you for all the things that he’s done’ so I’m glad other posters have pointed that out.

I know you weren’t ready to block him before but this is just creating an opportunity for him to berate you now. I’d suggest thinking about how to get his stuff out now, message him, storage locker you pay for one month then leave it to him to sort. Did you sort the insurance and things? The sooner you have no need to stay in contact with him, the better!

His arrogance and total lack of self awareness is stunning. No remorse, humility, accountability. Just a stream of noisy blame.

Stop being his audience is great advice from @TenTenTenAgain

@PithyBeaker this guy was a loser. Really. Nasty piece of work, turning it all round on you.

If it's any help, I was married to someone who claimed to be an angel sent from heaven with a clarion voice of sweet reason but believe you me, he wasn't. Twelve years of an awful relationship, the stories I could tell are jaw-dropping. I'm 'damaged goods' too.

Now, 5 1/2 years after separation, I'm with a man who is everything a man should be. When there are problems, we talk. He doesn't blame me. He thinks about the problem, and we talk and we resolve it.

He is kind, helpful and funny. He's not fucked up, he is messy but he cleans up after himself after a certain point and makes an effort because he knows I'm neater than him, and he is straightforward and decent.

You are most definitely not too damaged. In 4 years you'll look back and be so so relieved you are out. And I hope you are really angry that this guy has leeched on you for so long and then manipulated your emotions so heavily.

Thisx100000.

If he wanted to, he would have.

BUT HE DIDN’T.

Pithy, you are worth so much more that this poor excuse of a man.

How are you today OP?

I’m good, thank you. We are having a lovely visit in Paris with family ❤️ My sister says I seem so much happier and less stressed and so much nicer to be around

I'm glad to hear this.
How lovely just to be with your family.
♥️♥️

Oh that's so good to read, @PithyBeaker ! How lovely to spend uncomplicated time with family. If you're anywhere near the Marais, may I recommend the chocolate shop called Elisabeth, and especially their version of Tunnocks teacakes!

Enjoy Paris ❤️

Good stuff OP ☺️☺️

@PithyBeaker What a wonderful way to spend a long weekend 🌞
Good for you and your son!

You know your inner light is shining brighter when those who love you comment on it 🥰

It's great when people notice that you've lost weight. I'm guessing you've lost 12 - 13 stone? 🤣

It’s the Man-jaro diet!!

What did I miss?
Is this from another thread? 😆

The weight is her ex!!