Haven't heard from him after a date

[Tcbay52]

Been on a date recently, we went to a restaurant. He paid and opened the doors for me. He asked me before the date if I'd prefer a hug as a greeting, just a handshake, or no touch at all as he wanted me to feel comfortable. We went for quite a long walk afterwards. We hugged for hello and goodbye. After we parted he texted me saying to let him know when I'm home. I let him know. The next day I decided to text him. I said I had a good time and added a question about whether he logged me out of a job search website (he let me use his laptop to edit my resume as a small favour), as I forgot to log out. He reacted with a heart emoji to the 'good time' bit and said he logged me out. Since then we've been silent for like four days already. He's been active on social media. Should I message him again or leave it? I wanna see him again but don't know if he wants to.

You think a failure to message means a lack of interest, and you’ve failed to respond to his last message, so presumably you’re not interested?

Just send him a message asking if he fancies another date. Either you'll get a message back or not, either way you've got your answer.

How were you updating your CV on a date?

This?! Not exactly first date vibes…

He’s just not that into you and if he wanted to he would are all relevant here

Glad it’s not just me who thinks that’s very odd. How do you even get on to the subject and who takes a laptop on a first date?

Sounds more like a business meeting than a romantic date

Let’s flip this old chestnut.

OP [male perspective here] - it seems that you’ve not replied to his last message.

Send something light hearted like “was just thinking of our date and would love to meet up again. When are you free?”

You’ll then know from the horses mouth rather than the invariably skewed Mumsnet hive mind opinion 🤣

Us men are often just as confused as you are when it comes to understanding interest.

Don’t let some dating rule like “if he wanted to he would” potentially lose you a connection …

I think the basis of the ‘if he wanted to he would’ perspective is that when someone is genuinely interested they make it abundantly clear and you don’t question it. I genuinely don’t believe a man who was interested in a woman wouldn’t message to start a conversation regardless if the previous message was replied to or not.

Men always make it clear when they are interested, he would find something to txt you about, you could just txt him if you wanted to and ask, I’ve no problem doing that and would then just mark it up as mistake and move on, just ask instead of beating yourself up life’s too short to waste headspace on someone you hardly yet know.

It always amuses me that despite men giving input on here it’s often disregarded.

You may not “believe” but that’s the reality - both sexes have been conditioned to as such sadly.

But regardless of what you believe and what I actively experience as a man, it would be resolved as I mentioned, with a brief text from the OP in less time than it took her to post here.

I recently had a few dates with a man that was going to then be away for a few weeks and I mean far away he has txt me rang and and even though he has stuff planned from morning to night he’s still found the time to let say a quick hello and that he’s been thinking about me, if he hadn’t I’d just get on with my life anyway, always make sure your happy and in the right space before dating so if it doesn’t work out you shrug it off and move on x

By this logic, she is not interested either. Yet here she is.

Exactly this ^

Bonkers flawed logic.

Men don’t “always” do anything of the sort.

They do if they want a shag.

I would say if you like him just drop him a light message to restart the chat. Nothing heavy just a way back in to see if he reciprocates

I messaged him once though. Isn't the 'good time' enough for him to text me just anything? How's your day going, anything.

Ask him out. The worst that can happen is he doesnt want to and at least you'll know.

You're overthinking it. You like him. You want another date with him. The way to find out if he feels the same is to ask him if he wants another date.

That would apply to either sex.

Maybe he thought that was just you being polite so that he would log you out.

Why are you second-guessing this? What do you lose by messaging him?

Once he confirmed he had logged you out you should have followed up with something else. Maybe he interpreted your message as more a case of you checking up on the laptop and throwing in a cursory, polite "I had a good time".
I had a good time sounds a bit luke warm to me so in his position I wouldn't be convinced you were that interested and would be waiting for another signal of interest.

Welcome to womanhood.

I think you should have followed up his message about logging you out, with "thanks!" and said something to keep the conversation going.

He's the one who messaged last. Did you even like his comment?

did he take his laptop on the date @Tcbay52?