We all know that one person that always orders the most expensive thing when someone else is paying, but… extreme content 😂

[AliceR1]

What is it with men and being totally reckless with money? Guy and I, known each for about 5 years, went exclusive about six months ago. It’s his birthday next week so I said I’d take him out for a birthday meal out. He picked the place so I knew it wasn’t going to be budget but what I wasn’t planning on was him ordering a £100 bottle of wine followed by more by the glass. I wasn’t drinking as I drove there and back. He knows I’m not in the poor category but that’s essentially down to extreme budgeting, which he’s well aware of. It was a nice mea out, totally ruined by me still internally stewing over the fact that I picked up a tab the equivalent of a monthly food budget for me and two kids and totally put me off sticking around him for a moment longer. We do get on but this really narked me.

Expensive, but maybe good value in the long term, you could have wasted more time on him!

Worth chatting tho just in case, there no chance there has been a misunderstanding or he didn’t realise it was expensive (like just ordered Merlot etc without checking price) or there was an error on the bill?

I thought of sending a message similar to the one @WildLeaderwrote but I’d start with “I’m so disappointed in your behaviour last night. You know how carefully I have to budget to affair a meal out. They least you can do is send me the £70 above and beyond you would have spent on wine if you were paying for it.”

I'd have to say something. Maybe framing it as feeling a bit disappointed and taken advantage of - very happy to treat you to your birthday dinner, and even the wine though I didn't have any. But to order £100 bottle of wine and not mention it or check in when you know I budget feels disingenuous. Particularly when you normally order more reasonably priced stuff. Do you understand how its made me feel?

I’ve got to say I’m pleased that you’re in the minority here.

Dump.him now rather than wait for your birthday to recoup losses - don't waste more time and effort on him.

Plus, doing it now shows it is directly due to him being a cock on his birthday mwal, rather than weeks or months down the line and he can claim it just fizzled out with no error on his side.

What a knob!!!

Nope, wasn’t an error, just an error of judgement on my part 🚮

He ordered that knowing it was just for himself? I wouldn’t be impressed by that. Even if I’m being treated on my birthday I wouldn’t take the piss and order items with total abandon. Says a lot about his character.

When Nelson get his eye back 😂😂😂😂

That has made my (shitty) day 😂

🎯 bad, right? Special occasions I’d cap at £60-£70 per head, not triple that!

So what are you going to do @AliceR1?

He’s been really rude here.

If you’re going to dump him anyway I would definitely point it out to him and ask what he’s going to do about it. Hopefully he will be very embarrassed about his behaviour and offer to pay for the expensive bottle of wine he chose, which was definitely on purpose and was very unfair.

Don't wait for your birthday, dump the CF now.
Yuck! Worra clit shriveler.

I wouldn’t even order £100 bottle of wine if my DH or (not poor) parents were paying. He’s taken advantage of you and knows it. I’d either ask or message him for the money to cover the wine. He has no respect for you or your children.
In future, if taking someone out for their birthday, you choose the restaurant.

You know want OP , I actually think he’s done this on purpose, it like he knows your very careful with money and wanted to make a point about it (be a wanker ) .. he’s not a nice man. I know a man who would do this and it’s his birthday next week , he’s name doesn’t begin with R by any chance 🤣

Look at it this way: if you had a load of rubbish you wanted to get rid of, you'd have to spend a similar amount on a skip... So it's the price of finding out that he's a surplus-to-requirements load of crap.

Really, you would never be able to trust someone with that attitude to have your back when the chips were down... (Sorry to mention 'chips' when Restaurantgate is still so fresh in your mind...) 😁🍟

That sucks. But you are taking it in quite good spirit.

But yes- you are NOT compatible. Anyone who takes the piss like that on another person's dime is a user. If it went anywhere and his finances are 'volatile' then you will end up subbing him repeatedly and he probably has already factored that in to his considerations about what he can get from the relationship anyway.

I'm sorry. Throw this one back.

We’ve had probably half a dozen meals out, and took turns… I pay, then he pays. As many drinks out, and he would pay at the bar for both of us but I’m a small glass of red per night - essentially a non-drinker. My share of drinks ‘in’ outweigh his, so absolutely no way did he somehow ‘pre-pay’ for this blowout.

how much did the whole meal come to?

He’s been unconscionably rude, but I also wonder whether this was some kind of test: how far can I take the cheekiness before she pushes back? He’s probably feeling quite pleased with himself right now. However, now you know what he’s really like, and whether he would make a good partner at a fairly fundamental level.

As someone else said, him behaving so badly for his birthday will almost certainly save you money in the long term.

That would really give me the ick.

I really need to send this beautiful template someone above typed up for me!!!!

I’d him that if he wants the relationship to continue he needs to pay you back for the wine.

If he doesn’t, that’s the price you pay to get rid of him.
If he gives back the money, accept it, then dump him anyway.

When is your birthday?

As Mrs Merton might say “So @AliceR1what first attracted you to the broke, pissed, cheeky fucker who humiliated and ridiculed your kind nature by rinsing you in public?”

I can recognise someone from a difficult background by your posts because you spend all of your posts JADEing (justifying, arguing, defending and explaining) the background to everyone on here as you feel your own feelings opinions on his behaviour alone are not valid enough. They are - you seem to be stuck now in the ruminating and rationalising. He’s a cznt. Get him gone. Why would you hold back by concerns amongst mutuals - most people really won’t care (another clue about less that secure background) or they may well know he’s a cznt and can’t wait for the penny to drop for you to see it.

Good for you on your careful lifestyle - it’s green and sensible and important for your DC. This cznt is totally incompatible with your values given his feckless financially instability and his dirty drunk tendencies - who on earth can down a bottle of wine and further glasses over a meal - no wonder the problematic drinker has has no money. He really was treating you with utter contempt.

Raise your bar and kick this loser to the kerb.

Loving the skip analogy