We all know that one person that always orders the most expensive thing when someone else is paying, but… extreme content 😂

[AliceR1]

What is it with men and being totally reckless with money? Guy and I, known each for about 5 years, went exclusive about six months ago. It’s his birthday next week so I said I’d take him out for a birthday meal out. He picked the place so I knew it wasn’t going to be budget but what I wasn’t planning on was him ordering a £100 bottle of wine followed by more by the glass. I wasn’t drinking as I drove there and back. He knows I’m not in the poor category but that’s essentially down to extreme budgeting, which he’s well aware of. It was a nice mea out, totally ruined by me still internally stewing over the fact that I picked up a tab the equivalent of a monthly food budget for me and two kids and totally put me off sticking around him for a moment longer. We do get on but this really narked me.

"Nelson gets his eye back" 😂

You reallyneed to tell him what you think you owe that to yourself.Ask him to pay for the wine as you didn’t realise he was ordering the most expensive and then more glasses after.Tell your mutual friends what he did he is a disgrace and needs shaming.Then dump him.Be brave and tell him exactly what you think of him.He may remember but I doubt it next time he has a date.

Seriously, I would have left him there in the restaurant. Please tell us you dumped his arse home and didn't let him stay the night.

Knowing you have two children, he put 'getting his money's worth' over you and enjoying a lovely evening in your company. He knew exactly what he was doing. It's worse than being cheap, he mean of spirit.

He absolutely did that deliberately - "she's paying, so why not, hehe"! At least you won't have wasted more than 6 months on him.

Well, because I just didn’t think he’d be such prick, simple as.

What a selfish, piss taking wanker!!

You won't see the money again that he spent in such a cavalier way on your behalf but you'd be within your rights to tell him you want it.

Either way, this relationship is dead and buried. I could not get over such a monumental act of inconsideration.

I am totally stealing that one!!! It had me in creases!!!

Who actually would though? You take someone out to the restaurant of their choice, then start placing budget restrictions? What actually happens is that you don’t think this person you’ve known for a while will take advantage of your generosity, so when they do you’re blindsided and don’t want to spoil their enjoyment. I reckon most people would quietly seethe in the moment. Then dump him. He has made it clear what type of person he is. Delaying or mitigating that would not have helped and would have just kicked the can down the road.

This is really reading like you’re going to let this go unchallenged, because ‘he knows’.

You’re bad for not speaking up for yourself, tbh. Letting yourself be taken advantage of to this extent is ridiculous.

That's taking the absolute piss. Wait until your birthday, do the same to him, then ditch him.

This, thank you 🙏🏼

That would give me the ick I could never come back from

He is definitely one to throw back. This is a sign of a less than pleasant personality

This would be it for me.
Not just taking advantage financially. But drinking over a bottle of wine to himself, whilst you are sober.
Ick, ick, ick.

OMG OP I’d be furious. What a rude, selfish, disrespectful nob. Imagine doing that to your partner when you know they are not loaded and are careful with money. It just makes me think of a grabby toddler taking all the sweets, but we can let toddlers off because they’re still learning. He’s shown exactly how he sees you, as a money tree and someone to take advantage of. I’m glad you are not up for that, but sorry you had such an awkward and upsetting situation.

Next!

This would give be an ick from which there could be no return.

However, in your shoes I would be nice as pie until such time as I could get him to return the 'favour' then I would unceremoniously dump him.

Why do people allow this to happen and then moan about it later ? You've got 2 kids clearly an adult, just should have just said, I'm not paying that for a bottle of wine, simple !!!!

He’s negging your values in a passive aggressive way - he got a kick out of watching you squirm.

Secretly he holds contempt for you.

Know that. Take your dignity back by ghosting the cznt.

Indifference and distance is your power - he wants you to get emotional - don’t give him the pleasure - he’s like shit on your shoe.

Just not a good person to have around going forward, because that lack of insight and observation and understanding is something that will happen in other areas of life.

As cheap red flag in the long run. Unless it’s your birthday in the next week or two, please lose him. He has no respect for the challenges you face. Financial incompatibility is one of the biggest reasons for relationship issues.

Yes, this too! Who gets completely sloshed on their own, while the person treating you is sober because they're driving?

Someone up thread mentioned resentment, out of interest how were dates arranged? Did split the bill, take it in turns or did he pay?

Huge piss taker. I would be so angry.

He knows your situation so it's not just that he was greedy/took advantage, it's as if he challenged himself to "make you pay" way over budget and got away with it. Kind of letting you know that he ranks himself above you and your children.

I couldn't see him again. I would ask him for payment for the alcohol element (another poster has given some great wording) and whether he pays or not he would then be dumped.

Nasty selfish unkind cocky man. Ugh!

how much was the total bill, OP?

Just wondering as you said it was close to a months food shop. Monthly food shop for me would be £350-£400 and I could NEVER spend that on a meal out!

Agree with pp that it was a very greedy, unpleasant, sour thing to do.

Not sure what kind of point he thought he was making but I would have felt sick being in presented with a bill amounting to my monthly food shop.

I would get rid but I would absolutely tell him why.

How dare he.

My husband has never let me pay for a meal in his life, even before we were together. Even on his birthday. This is bananas 😂