We all know that one person that always orders the most expensive thing when someone else is paying, but… extreme content 😂

[AliceR1]

What is it with men and being totally reckless with money? Guy and I, known each for about 5 years, went exclusive about six months ago. It’s his birthday next week so I said I’d take him out for a birthday meal out. He picked the place so I knew it wasn’t going to be budget but what I wasn’t planning on was him ordering a £100 bottle of wine followed by more by the glass. I wasn’t drinking as I drove there and back. He knows I’m not in the poor category but that’s essentially down to extreme budgeting, which he’s well aware of. It was a nice mea out, totally ruined by me still internally stewing over the fact that I picked up a tab the equivalent of a monthly food budget for me and two kids and totally put me off sticking around him for a moment longer. We do get on but this really narked me.

What a horrible piss taker. I would end it and tell him why too, he’s clearly completely thoughtless

What a wanker!

Bin and don't hold back on the why.

What a dick regardless of you being able to afford it or not!

What grates on me now the most that it’s money I could have spent on the kids during Easter hols. Bad timing! Last week I felt bad for spending £40 on new work shoes that I needed, not wanted… man, a pair of Russell and Bromleys would have cost me significantly less than the birthday meal last night. Live and learn, right?

I would have told him to pay for the wine himself given you weren’t drinking and that you had already generously offered to buy the meal. The fact he chose somewhere expensive knowing you were paying is also ick. Who drinks to excess when the other person isn’t drinking? I remember years ago going out for a meal with five couples and one bloke ordering an expensive bottle when half of us were driving and it really annoyed me at the time, but he was a bit of a braggart living beyond his means. I’d ask him for the money for the drinks and get rid of him.

I’d tactfully ask him to reimburse you for the wine. And then I’d bin him.

This is crazy! When someone treats me, I choose the cheapest thing on the menu, even if they're loaded!

What kind of mindset causes someone to order a hugely expensive bottle of wine when someone else is paying? Self-entitlement? Opportunism?

Anyway, it shows a thin sliver of who he really is. CF.

Why are you letting him take advantage of you? It’s even worse that it’s left you short so you can’t take your kids out. You should have told him not to order the expensive wine at the meal unless he was paying. Can you not say to him now you were happy to pay for meal but need the money for the wine in order to take your kids out over Easter?
Does he live with his parents, or is he neurodivergent? Does he not understand you have expenses and responsibilities?!

So what did he say when you got the bill and said "gosh, I didn't think you'd order £100 wine"?

If he just pointed at a bottle on the menu, perhaps he mis-read or was given something he didn't order. I'd want to know if it was a deliberate move on his part or a mistake before deciding what to do next.

It’s etiquette, isn’t it… just wasn’t appropriate to squabble over the bill with the waitress standing there and questioning what exactly he was drinking… but I’m working on the basis of etiquette, where I wouldn’t, just wouldn’t do that if the roles were reversed. Ain’t doing that again, now I’m thinking do I recoup losses out of principle or call it off… will be hard work to act nice next time I see him.

I’d maybe try and subtly say you wish you had money to take the kids out for Easter but having spent so much on the meal plus wine you’re a bit short. Then act embarrassed about asking, but would he mind reimbursing you for the wine as you hadn’t imagined when suggesting paying for dinner that it would be so expensive, as we usually eat at xx and spend about 1/3 of that on wine!

Then he either sends you some money and you dump, or he doesn’t and you dump, but don’t have to spend another penny on the piss taking twat.

Why don’t you just ask him to reimburse you for the alcohol? How do you think he will react if you asked him?

In my defense, I wasn’t expecting that… what I had in mind was treating someone to a couple of courses and a glass of wine, not bottle+ premium grapes… purely because isn’t something I’d ever do.

That’s taking the piss out of you, big time. I’d ask him for the money, nothing to lose, then dump.

I went out with a guy like this. He was minted, I’m not, he bought me expensive thoughtless impersonal gifts which I always discouraged and sometimes made him return them but I tried to treat him, eg a very expensive birthday meal, tickets to expensive evens, clothes way out of my price range for his big birthday (only thing he could think of apparently ) then he would post on social media whatever the event was but not even thanking or tagging me so it would just be him at an expensive venue , sometimes with me in the photo, often not, bloody weird.
we’re not together now obviously and I sold or gave away a lot of his gifts

Just dump him, awful behaviour.

Just don’t think it’s worth digging it all out. It wasn’t an oversight, and you cannot argue with someone who doesn’t see anything wrong with their actions.

I’d possibly understand if he was minted, but he absolutely isn’t.

Did he notice you were shocked at the bill?

If he was my partner he'd go far down in my estimation. So far down he'd get the boot.

Talk about CF behaviour.

Probably too shitfaced to notice.

How incredibly cheeky. If you know someone else is picking up the bill, surely you generally go for the middle of the road stuff or I follow their lead! Does he normally opt for stuff like this, or has he pushed it knowing he's not paying?
I'd be questioning whether I want to be with someone who takes advantage like that.

Time to step away OP.

So you've known him 5 years and went exclusive 6 months ago. Has he ever shown signs of being a CF before? I'm just wondering whether this is a lapse in judgement on his part or he thinks he's "got" you tied down and now he feels comfortable openly plucking you.

I think he has, basically took the mick because it’s not his money… so there’s the answer staring right there. I’m just bloody annoyed that what was meant as a nice gesture turned out to be massive pisstake on his part.