We all know that one person that always orders the most expensive thing when someone else is paying, but… extreme content 😂

[AliceR1]

What is it with men and being totally reckless with money? Guy and I, known each for about 5 years, went exclusive about six months ago. It’s his birthday next week so I said I’d take him out for a birthday meal out. He picked the place so I knew it wasn’t going to be budget but what I wasn’t planning on was him ordering a £100 bottle of wine followed by more by the glass. I wasn’t drinking as I drove there and back. He knows I’m not in the poor category but that’s essentially down to extreme budgeting, which he’s well aware of. It was a nice mea out, totally ruined by me still internally stewing over the fact that I picked up a tab the equivalent of a monthly food budget for me and two kids and totally put me off sticking around him for a moment longer. We do get on but this really narked me.

Spread the word for sure.
He is utter scum.
With a screen shot of the bill.
Absolutely shame him.
People will mark his card for sure.

He's clearly trying to goad you into a response. What a sad little twat. He'll probably try some form of "so that's it then?" to get you to reply, and almost certainly a desperate non-apology if he wants his dick wet. I'd not give him the satisfaction of any message; he doesn't deserve it and it will drive him mad not to get one. Onwards and upwards for you.

Even when my own dad takes me out for dinner for my birthday I don’t take the piss and always choose mid menu and offer to pay for drinks (he always declines but I drink sensibly!) You are well shot of such a parasite.

eta and my dad can easily afford it

You’re so well rid of that greedy grape guzzler op.

I’ve blocked him.

What a prick.

His last messages just show how much you’ve done the right thing OP!

Good riddance to him.

WTH ? was he drunk or is he on drugs ??? Why on earth did u not say something to him at the time ? Whenever I have been out & someone else is picking up the tab I will always try to pick the cheapest thing off the menu . He’s taking the piss & u need to have a serious talk with him . Ask him what the hell he is playing at ???

Yes and take the children too; make sure they’ve been sworn to secrecy but they need to order the most expensive food & drinks too; glug everything back; shoehorn a starter; main & desert in & smile sweetly when he pays for it

Fuck that, i would have put a stop to it while at the restaurant as it was. Shameless grabber.

I was annoyed enough last week when my partner and i went to a big get together and it got divided by all the adults instead of per head. Why am i footing the same bill as couples that brought their 4 kids???

I can’t believe people are giving you a hard time. You did absolutely nothing wrong. You don’t expect someone to take the mickey when you take them out and I don’t know many people who would quibble when the bill came.

What really upset me on your behalf is when you talk about how frugal you are and your child missed a residential trip that cost £300. He knew that and in that context this behaviour is absolutely vile. He knew exactly what he was doing.

Think of this as a boundary test. If you fail it and let him keep taking you for a ride he will do so. In your positioning I’d end it and never speak to him again. He sounds like a loser anyway - no job, no money and a user to boot!

First rule, you invited to buy him a meal for his birthday.
You were paying, you should have been doing the ordering.

I took my brother to lunch, he chose a venue, totally impractical and I managed to steer him away (it was a membership, which I didn’t have). We agreed on another venue, I booked it and told them I was the host. The staff then directed their attention to me.
We didn’t have wine admittedly on this occasion, but if we had, I would have ordered it.

I dated one of these when I was a student. He earned 3 times more than me. He would invite me to
dinners where he eats free through work and make me pay my meal which would have be fine except I hated these hotel restaurants as the food was bad.
I always have black americano with milk which he would order himself when he pays. If I was to pay he would always get the most expensive fanciest coffee with the premium roast and add ons and 3-4 cakes and cookies making a £3 coffee £30..
My favourite is when he invited himself to my martial arts classes and had to pay £5 pay as you go fee. Then he will always forget his wallet or go over on his contactless from and make him buy him £10-20 take out “which he will then pay me back”. He never paid me back and I caught him using the receipts to claim as work expenses. I ditched the twat on the second I saw that.
I was young and stupid ..

Ditch him now - he is a dick.

Totally off topic, but I can’t help reading 'martial arts' as 'marital arts', the first time I read it.

You wait to after your birthday to dump him. And make sure you have joy in doing so, telling him he’s an absolute using bar steward and see you next Tuesday, how dare he think to fleece you when you have to scrape by. I would go on and on what a sheet person he is. Tip coffee on his suit so he has to get it dry cleaned, then stomp off with your head held high. Tell him to F.R.O. Go full throttle on telling him he’s nasty.

Give him the boot before then. He's totally insensitive to your budget

Very reasonable assumption. Any normal, emotionally intelligent person would pick something very cheap and simple (house wine) and/or confirm you were OK with it before ordering (I usually joke about it - I say ‘Ooh great - I can go really mad now and pig myself’, and then I pick something really modest to underline the fact that I was joking). His behaviour is boorish, insensitive and self-centred in the extreme, and it seems safe to assume it will be reflected in other areas, so you are definitely better off without him.

Yes, sorry OP, he absolutely is taking the mick and it sounds like (unless he changes) you guys would never be compatible as you'd be constantly budgeting (like me) while he's pissing it up the wall...

I rather suspect that this isnt the first time he has been dropped for behaving like this, his total lack of surprise or apology suggest it.

Some of the comments to OP are harsh. I'm a tough nut and his feet wouldn't have touched the floor but we aren't all alike. OP you're seem like a genuinely nice person trying to care for your children and have a bit of a life at the same time. Being a single parent can be lonely but....you have lovely children and a strong financial ethic and now that you've decided to part company with this waster, you'll get on with your life, summer on the way, good times ahead. Chalk it up as an experience you've learnt from. Forget him and concentrate on the things and people that matter to you. Good luck xxx

I think this is an excellent way to handle it.

What a bloody nerve of this bloke; so rude. I'd be furious.

Not something you would ever do….. I suspect he knows this OP. Have you done anything to annoy or irritate him? Maybe money related? If not, I wonder if he is ending things and this was a last squeeze of you? Might he have met someone else? This isn’t something you can come back from.

He does come across as a total CF and I have loved reading some of the more strident responses.

I just had a thought though: could he have intended to pay for the wine but was too drunk to remember? Maybe if you offer him that way to save face, ypu can guilt him into paying up before you dump him?

I love your thrifting philosophy, BTW. Wishing you all the best.

Dump!