We all know that one person that always orders the most expensive thing when someone else is paying, but… extreme content 😂

[AliceR1]

What is it with men and being totally reckless with money? Guy and I, known each for about 5 years, went exclusive about six months ago. It’s his birthday next week so I said I’d take him out for a birthday meal out. He picked the place so I knew it wasn’t going to be budget but what I wasn’t planning on was him ordering a £100 bottle of wine followed by more by the glass. I wasn’t drinking as I drove there and back. He knows I’m not in the poor category but that’s essentially down to extreme budgeting, which he’s well aware of. It was a nice mea out, totally ruined by me still internally stewing over the fact that I picked up a tab the equivalent of a monthly food budget for me and two kids and totally put me off sticking around him for a moment longer. We do get on but this really narked me.

Of course you don't have to go around expecting people to not fleece you. He should be a decent human being and not take the piss. Now he has it's still his fault and not the Ops at all.

My 13yo dd manages it, I take her to maccys, she will upgrade to a large meal with milkshake, maybe chuck in mozzarella sticks and definitely try and add in a McFlurry, because we have a decent budget for snacks and treats. She goes to Maccys with her own money and buys similar - by comparison when her sports coach gives her a lift to a day event, the coach takes them back via drive through, my daughter absolutely knows to just order a medium meal with no upgrades at all and say thank you very much (and also offers to pay). Coach doesn't need to set a limit and I don't need to remind DD to not do that. Because it's common human bloody decency. It's not Ops fault in the slightest, she did a nice thing and didn't expect someone she cares about to behave in that way, I think that's completely understandable.

What a cf. Raging for you op!

I would dump him. If he usually orders a 25-30 quid bottle, and a 100 quid one when you're buying, and knows you have children to care for, he's an absolute loser and a bad person. I'd drop him like a hot potato... but first I'd wait a couple of weeks and then borrow the cost of the meal from him, saying you have an emergency. Then goodbye it is, and a note explaining why he's not getting his money back - ever.

No question that this man’s behaviour was appalling and OP is well out of this relationship.

However, I think mocking his weight and just generally being vile about him being overweight is absolutely shitty.

I hope you manage to get some money back from him - appalling behaviour.

If I'd known someone for five years I'd certainly be able to tell them they were taking the piss with their choice of wine. Hell, I'd be able to tell someone I'd known five minutes. I can't believe a thirfty person not checking how much the wine costs that they are paying for even if someone else is ordering it. I'm not particularly thrifty but always check the menu and wine list in advance before booking somewhere, not just for reasons of price, and would certainly be interested in the price of what someone else was ordering even if we were splitting the bill, even with old friends of 40 years.

So not only is he a CF he is also a pisshead. It’s not very respectful to drink a bottle of wine and several glasses when you are with someone who isn’t drinking - it can’t have been much fun for you to spend an evening with someone getting pissed.

I couldn’t have sex with him again in your shoes.

Well that's put an image in my mind.

@PandorasJam 🤣

IME it's more to do with envy. If he's anything like the guy I knew, he has a chip on his shoulder that everyone else is mysteriously doing so much better than him. Self-reflection on the obvious reasons (his chaotic workshy nature) is beyond his capacity, so on an occasion like this he decides that he will act like Henry VIII and reclaim his rightful place in the world, just for a few glorious hours. He doesn't give a shit how that impacts anyone else.

(Edited to add: Asking him to pay for the wine retrospectively, or indeed at the time, won't work. As far as he is concerned, anyone with the slightest care for him will understand that he was King for the Day and nothing else matters, and he will be angry and upset that you don't buy into that tacit agreement.)

It's not just men!!!

Can I ask what this sponger's good points are? I feel sorry for his kids.

Maybe all his birthdays are shit because he treats the people in his life like shit?

Absolutely - 1.5 bottles of wine when your partners not drank… just weird that

Hello drunkard leach exboyfriend 👋

You can't seriously be defending this man's utter cheek?! (And BTW, being careful with money and being 'a tight arse' are not the same thing.)

That would be instant ick for me, OP. Massive CF behaviour.

Or maybe he’s sick of you being a tight arse all the time as you've pointed out you are more than once

Ridiculous. If he thinks she’s too frugal he could always spend his own money that he gets from universal credit on expensive wine. That’s an option, right?

Instead of deciding to go all out when it’s her paying - very convenient. Easy not to be a “tight arse” when it’s not coming out of your bank account.

More than the money (which would annoy me), what would really make me mad is that he just saw this as an opportunity to take the piss out of you. I would hate that.

That’s a lot of wine for one person too. I’d have been off my tits after a full bottle (plus additional glasses) of red.

Id send him PayPal details with message that he can transfer you xx amount to cover the cost of the wine he drank.

I am someone who likes a drink but I would never order a bottle of wine for myself at a restaurant when the person with me (even worse that the person is paying for me) isn't drinking. The whole thing is just absolutely weird and several massive red flags! I can't imagine he was very good company either.

You are both very different and your values are not aligned.

Well that’s clear to see.

OP seems to be a hard worker who is sensible , kind and respectful of other people’s budgets.

This man is a CF who doesn’t work and is happy to splurge on someone else’s dime.

Just thank god it was a short lived relationship.

Good riddance to the greedy, entitled leech 🤮

Aside from that, the ‘innocent and shocked’ WOW would have been the end for me. He really is a pathetic specimen.

Being alone will give you so much more peace of mind than getting involved with anyone like your ex.