18 months chatting but never met, now rumours online about him

[AlphaKat44]

Hey all!
I need some advice.
I've been involved with guy for 18 months, I connected with him on Hinge.
We've never met in person, only facetimed a couple of times, and its mostly Whatsapp.
He says the reason we haven't met yet in person is because of his anxiety, and his general mental health after witnessing several traumatic experiences.
He lives an hour away from me, but everytime he tries to drive over he has panic attacks behind the wheel when he gets to a certain place due to an accident where he and his mate were hit by a drink driver, and his mate was killed(It was a hit and run)
He also says he is "worried I won't like him" and constantly doubts himself because his previous relationship was volatile on her part, she cheated and when he confronted her she cut him.
Last week a person who I thought was a friend posted a picture I had showed her on Facebook (without his consent)
onto a group called "Are we dating the same guy?" and its made things worse for us.

Apparently this so called friend got anonymous comments on the posts from other women saying they had arranged to go on dates, and he never showed etc, but wouldn't tell me or show me the post/comments to "protect these womens privacy" so I asked him about it.
He told me that after we had a huge argument he went back on the dating sites as he thought we had broken up for good, and that yes he had reached out to other women but never went on the arranged dates.
He said it was because his love for me stopped him, and I'm the only woman he wants.
Ironically the post got deleted after my friend "told" me about it.
Was it malicious to try and drive a wedge between us?
We were really strong and now he is doubting himself again.

Run

I'm sorry OP - I would move on and find someone you can meet and have fun with in real life x

Block and run.

You've never met? How is this a strong g relationship?

Oh my god, how can you even be bothered with all this nonsense. Stop wasting your life on this bloke.

This is next level ridiculous to even think ur not being very badly cat fished here

Even without all the rumours, this sounds dead in the water. All the back and forth nonsense I couldn’t tolerate, sorry if that sounds harsh but he just sounds really hard work

Too much drama. I’m amazed you been this patient for 18 months. Have you suggested visiting him? How did he react?

Your friend can see the red flags and is trying to help you.

think what you would say to her if she told you this whole story ?

You can’t be in a strong relationship with someone you’ve not met and barely spoken too.

He’s playing you.

This is not a relationship. End of.

I suggest you look for a documentary on iPlayer called the Beauty Queen and the Catfish. It sounds like a similar type of romance scam I’m afraid

You are not in a relationship with this person. You / he cannot “love” someone without meeting. If this meets your definition of relationship I suggest you work in your self esteem. You deserve better

Are you quite well? It sounds like your bar for relationships is lower than hell, and I'm wondering why?

Why on earth wouldn't you have gone to see him if he's only an hour away and it's this great love affair? Not once in 18 months could either of you get it together enoughto meet in person?

What are you hiding from yourself, OP?

You are not in a relationship with him and he does not love you. That's because you've never met him.

I find it utterly baffling that someone can imagine this type of online thing is actually real.

He sounds like an absolutely useless loser of a person anyway( that's if he's actually real). I suspect he's a mentally ill person amusing himself by getting lonely women to imagine they're in a relationship with him.

Get rid of him and do some socialising in real life.

Nobody ‘loves’ somebody they’ve never met. You aren’t in any sort of relationship - it sounds like you speak to him as often, and by the same methods as I speak to my builder!

Stop being daft and get out into the real world to meet real people.

I think your friend was concerned for you and I can see why.

He told me that after we had a huge argument he went back on the dating sites as he thought we had broken up for good, and that yes he had reached out to other women but never went on the arranged dates.

oh this “reaching out” bllx again. He tried to hook up with them.

The anxiety stuff is bllx, too.

Delete and move on.

I think your mum should take your phone away. You are 12 aren’t you? This is not adult behaviour so you can’t possibly be any older.

What absolute nonsense.

This is a complete waste of your time. You aren't involved with him, you've never met him. Its all nonsense. You weren't 'really strong', you've never met him. You don't know him at all!

Sorry to be harsh, but this is really not a relationship and he doesn't want one with you

Have you looked up news stories about this hit and run. If someone was killed there is bound to be a news story

How old are you op?

What do want for your future? Marriage? Children? To live together? Because this man will never offer any of these.

He is a penpal at best. And you have not got a strong relationship, how can you when you have never even met

It's not a relationship he's a pen pal. Put a stop to this ridiculous situation.