Dating Thread 56 - Love is in the Air

[BoxOfCats]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating
-Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy
Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

Self obsessed? Bringing the convo back to himself?

So he’d ask a question as an excuse to then talk about himself, instead of using it as an opportunity to then go deeper and ask further questions to get to know you?

Hmm I hesitant to say he was using the questions as an excuse just to talk about himself (maybe I'm wrong here), but I certainly remember many times where I would share something vulnerable and or personal and he wouldn't ask me anything about it or had even changed the subject to himself yes.

Actually I have just remembered another one, which is also one of the main odd things. My friend had been dating his friend and his friend ended things with her while we were maybe on date 3. He then told me something about his friend that he probably shouldn't have, think dating multiple people in the early days of dating my friend. I felt compelled to tell my friend (with his blessing), and he then offered for my friend to message him. He spent a good couple of days giving my friend emotional support about this. I felt this to be a bit odd in that why would he tell me this behind his friends back when we had only dated a few times and then chat to my friend about it. Still don't know what to think of this one.

If I ever have a relationship again I’ll be very careful about opening up too early . It’s not uncommon for arseholes to use your past trauma etc against you further down the line

@Namechanged76938572357057 that last bit sounds like he fancies himself a player and thought he would try it on with your friend.

Well, I just matched with a guy and I recognised his photo.

It was Meatloaf! So weird as I thought Meat had died several years ago.

Did he fake his own death?

Why's he on Tinder?

I guess he's living in the UK again.

I wonder if he'll tour

Very true - I had quite a poor first marriage- but that’s ok, it was gone long ago - got pressured into discussing it - later turns out all issues are on me as I can’t trust men due to said first marriage - nothing, absolutely nothing to do with them being on dating sites/seeing other women of course - sigh!

I don’t like to restrict/censor myself if it’s a natural conversation but I’d still be wary/ltd info - I mean mainly it’s the past is a different country it’s so long ago tbh. But definitely if pressured nowadays would be a ‘you don’t need to know that’ and possibly a good bye then.

Ah wow - amazing - I was sad when he died. Tbh I would prefer to see Bruce Springsteen on a site though of course he’s still with us, and married 🤣

That made me chuckle 😂 … so weird what you come across on the apps

Mr Singer and I had a second date and I think it may be a slow burn but that I’m also enjoying it, definitely warmer on the second date, so am planning to see him again.

@MsJinks ah yes. My exh said I just looked for alcoholics everywhere and had mommy issues due to my alcoholic mother. . Nowt to do with him drinking red wine pre 9am , getting a 3 year driving ban and losing his job.
My last ex told me I needed therapy and ‘he’d support me through it’ as I’d previously told him about mental heath issues . Apparently I was overreacting when I found the used condoms , cock rings, nipple claps , bondage tape (I could go on ) and didn’t trust the female friend he wouldn’t introduce me to .

Amazing! Has he messaged you yet?
Do you know the comedian Becky Holmes (deathtospinach)? She has some pretty entertaining exchanges with all sorts of celebrities which this reminds me of…

@Namechanged76938572357057 It sounds like this guy is listening to reply, not listening to understand. Which probably means he’s not going to really want you to open up or ensure it feels safe for you to. I’d give him a swerve as it will only ever be surface level exchanges with guys like him. Quite possibly to fuel his ego.
I had a call and text from Mr T last night, both of which I didn’t respond to as I was working out what to say. Going to text him tonight to explain why his behaviour made me feel uncomfortable so I can move on. No idea if he’ll get it but let’s see.

Mr Social has been very chatty at work this week, messaging me and stopping by my desk to show me things he finds amusing. After a stern talkin to from my best friend, I am now being ultra wary of not giving him any impression I’m anything but an interested colleague. At the very least, it’s been nice to have a new friend in the office to chat to.

Crickets from Mr Charismatic since the weekend. I will see him on Friday for this chat on where things stand. 99.9% sure he will say he’s only up for FWB. To be honest, even if he is up for more it doesn’t seem like a sensible idea. At least not unless he can somehow show me he’s able to be more consistent with communicating, and emotionally available.

And Mr Nomad is visiting next week. He’s planning on staying an entire week, which is longer than we’ve spent together before. God knows what he’ll do while I’m here, I’m in a flurry at the moment of job interviews, crazy workload, staging my house for open homes, and I just signed up for some personal training sessions on top of it all!

@Betsy95 great news 💐

@TheThingOnTheIce oh wow you're due a good man then.

@BoxOfCats not so far, if he does it will be great fun. I may communicate entirely in lyrics.
You are doing very well at the moment. Also very chill to leave Mr Nomad in your house x

Haha excellent, please let us know how he responds if you do!

Yep I don’t mind leaving Mr N in the house. I even loaned him my car when he was last here! 😂

@BoxOfCats would Mr Nomad want to be with you in an ideal situation?

Why do the ones you want to text, don't text, but the ones you aren't that interesting in texting, text all the time? 🙃

It's someone's law.

Sod's? Shagger's?

It’s always the case isn’t it

Story of my life! The ones I want don’t want to commit and the ones I don’t stalk me!

Mr T was notified of the end of our dalliance last night and appears to have taken it well, thankfully.

First date with Mr Freelancer shortly who has been a great communicator and arranged the whole date. Naturally I am suspicious 🤣

I guess we wouldn't be on this thread if we had found the elusive "I want them, they want me" 🙃

Laughing too hard at this lol

Oh well done. Fingers crossed 🙏

🤞🤞🤞I so hope he's at least vaguely normal.

I think that’s really nice gesture and not too much at all.