Dating Thread 56 - Love is in the Air

[BoxOfCats]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating
-Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy
Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

Is the plan for him to stay over?

If it's early days I'd find it a bit awkward inviting him in before going out for food - I'd be keen to get to the restaurant and would feel a bit pointless hanging around the house beforehand.

@CleanShirt I guess it depends on your intentions. If you invite him in will you be tempted to go further than you planned...

Nothing from Mr Ok who will henceforth be known as Mr Not Ok.

Mr PE suggested today that we meet tomorrow, but I'm genuinely chockers.

@Nosdacariad may I suggest Mr Nope?

I'm not adverse to it so will see where the night takes us! I am hungry tho, he'll be here any minute and I might just drag him out for food 😅

Nosdacariad cowards way out to not just communicate, if he wasn't feeling it.

So my last ‘relationship’ - bit more then a bit less than FWB on the third meeting he picked me up to go to his house to then go into town - it was closer, but also didn’t have kids there (adults) We went in to his and had a drink whilst waiting on the taxi - it was then very much easier to return and go in afterwards - a decade of diminishing benefits later and we’d done ha!

Bit different here - you can rush out all ready to go? Or you can ask him in just whilst you finish up whatever? It’s awkward maybe just going in for the sake of it - unless there’s a grand tour you could do?!

I would find the awkward bit mostly when ordering drinks with the meal - unless he doesn’t usually have a drink at all - are you going to say ‘oh just have one’? Or make sure he doesn’t?

Also the ‘coffee’ at yours after is probably polite but need to be clear whether coffee means just coffee - or not as the case may be.

Another chat with Mr no name yet tonight and he asked if I’m free Saturday. I’m actually out Saturday night so we’ve agreed to a late lunch - saves me cooking as well

Woohoo!

Pub Man had a cursory look round my flat, we went for a few drinks (him non alcoholic cos driving) and food, he came back here, had 2 cups of tea, we had a laugh and a snog and he's gone home.

Dare I suggest I have stumbled upon a gentleman?!

That sounds lovely, CleanShirt. I'm really pleased for you.

TwistedWonder Great update too!

Hooray, that sounds absolutely lovely!

That’s really nice and respectful!

@TwistedWonder that’s exciting! If the chemistry continues in the flesh you might be onto something.

@Nosdacariad sorry about Mr Nope. His loss - onwards and upwards.

Just saw someone I like the look of on Breeze (very rare occurrence) but he lives 50 miles away. Too far? The date would be somewhere central but I can’t scope him out first as it’s Breeze.

Following!

Clone him IMMEDIATELY!

@Polly1979 not too far for me, if you drive or have actual public transport might work?

Mr no name yet lives about 50 miles from me but on the same train line so we’re meeting in a city in the middle.

I had that issue with Breeze which is why I deleted after a few days. One of the locations it advertised is my nearest city which is only about 10 miles away but every match it offered me said you’ll meet in London which isn’t what I want.

Well that's part of the game with Breeze, in that there is no messaging or background info beforehand, but the dates are arranged in a Breeze affiliated location. It's sort of a mix of speed dating and OLD.

I don't really know what the cancel/no-show rate is like on the app as people have to pay upfront for the date, but I suppose it still happens.

Pub Man sounds great! It’ll be interesting to see if he pushes for more than a snog on the next date…

I’m meeting Mr Sheep for the first time tomorrow. Because I met him in a FB group I don’t know how tall he is. That sounds shallow but I’m worried he’ll be short for some reason 🙈

He’s v keen and chatty on text and we have a lot in common so I don’t think we’ll be short of conversation.

Do you both drive? If so, If say the distance is perfect. Yesterday I bumped into a guy I went on a date with in my local supermarket. Awkward!
He does live in my area so it was only a matter of time.
Mr. Poet lives about 50 miles away from me, it takes us just over an hour to drive to each other's houses. Before we did house visits, we'd meet "half way" (he insisted on places which were clearly much closer to me than to him).

Does anyone know if Bumble has changed its format? I haven't been on there for over a year and this time l can't seem to get any traffic at all. One or two unsuitable profiles a day if l'm lucky! ( and never matching my distance criteria) It's telling me l have loads of likes but need to pay to see them. I didn't pay in the past and still got matches.

Just back from my date with Mr Charismatic. Went for dinner to a new restaurant that opened near us, it was amazing. We had a really great time. He paid for dinner, we ended up going back to his place afterwards, I opted not to stay over as he’s up super early for a work thing tomorrow, although this didn’t stop us from ripping each others clothes off 🫣😬

The evening was fun and lighthearted, and there didn’t seem to be quite the right moment to talk about where his head was at re dating. However, I noticed when looking at his Bumble profile just now that his photos have changed order. I know that Bumble has an option to automatically bump your most popular photo to your main profile photo, or you can obviously change the order manually. Either way, I’m guessing this means his dating profile is still active??

So… kind of regretting not having that chat with him now 😩

Ah BoxOfCats That sounds really lovely, I'm glad that you had a nice time. Do you know when you might hear from him again?

Try not to let it worry you, it's just as likely to be Bumble self shuffling, than anything else. (This is just from Google but says that it will still 'shuffle')

Seaoftroubles I don't like Bumble now. I also don't go on there much any more, & when I do, get no matches at all. The last time it kept bombarding me with 'Welcome back! Try this new feature! Have you seen this? This is great!' I actually said out loud 'Oh go away'

@NervesOfCotton Thank you, yes, l think Bumble is more about trying to induce you to pay now, whereas it wasn't so much before. I tried widening my search area just to see and l did get more traffic but l really don't want to travel far so a bit pointless for me.
I have tried Our time (as l'm an oldster) but that's bizzare.Tons of guys on there ( as l think the site can also access Match profiles) and allegedly loads who have messaged me but l cant actually contact them without paying. And l don't know who they are as the images are blurred! It's all rather frustrating.

Tbh as someone who paid for a month on Ourtime, deleted my profile after a week and poured bleach into my eyes to try and unsee the horrors, you’re best off keeping them blurred.

Never in my life have I seen so many overweight slack jawed too close up mirror selfies taken in a public toilet wearing the obligatory hi viz.

Though I did get my most hideous intro message on there from a man who was a dead ringer for Fat Bastard from Austin Powers asking if I’m into S&M. I replied I’m more an M&S girl myself which seemed to go right over his head

I think that it's always been a bit like that. I paid originally, then stopped. I was then taking a while looking at this one profile with a man who had jet black hair & a Red jumper on 3 photos, I decided to swipe left but Bumble was then showing me the blurred images of who liked me, & who I could only see if I paid, & it was clearly the blurred image of the man with Black hair & a Red jumper... I'd been considering paying again anyway, so I did, & Red jumper man was nowhere to be seen!

I havn't heard much about Our time, the other one I'm on is Hinge but I get no luck on there either.

@TwistedWonder Omg thank you for the warning! I'm now sure the selection l'm being shown ( but couldn't contact) are from Match as l think Ourtime can use Match profiles. l will definitely not be paying a penny to view such horrors!
Love your reply to the S&M afficionado, brilliant!