Dating Thread 56 - Love is in the Air

[BoxOfCats]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating
-Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy
Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

@NervesOfCotton That l sounds very familiar! It's frustrating isn't it? I tried Hinge but couldn't seem to actually get on to the site, not sure why! Don't think l will bother now. l'm thinking of giving up competely tbh as it all seems to have got so much worse than it used to be.

I needed that laugh today 🤣 🤣

Seaoftroubles It is frustrating. Have you ever tried 'Meetup'?
I look on my local one every now & then but there's never anything that I'm really into. Although they do have Speed dating listed on there today. The age range is basically once you hit 40 then it's just 40+ which is a bit depressing!

Loving this so hard. Was Fat Bastard sporting the tartan Tam o' shanter?

You get back on the dating scene only to find out how duplicitous people can be. Why agree to a date, time and place? Only to attempt change the time and location when it's about to start? Can't people just be a bit more honest and just cancel the date upfront instead of letting you get ready for something they have no intention of going to?

@CleanShirt Mr Pub Man sounds like a good one! When are you seeing him again?

@TwistedWonder love the M&S line 🤣

@NervesOfCotton Ahhhhh thank you, that’s super helpful. Much appreciated.

I mean, I certainly can’t be upset if Mr Charismatic is dating someone else - after all, I am too! I just can’t quite work out if he really just wants a FWB situation but doesn’t want to say, or if he is genuinely interested in a relationship but happy to take things at a glacial pace…

Ooh @Polly1979 @NowStartingOver would you recommend Breeze? It sounds interesting - I love getting dressed up and going out on dates but I bloody hate the swiping/messaging side of it all. I was thinking about giving Breeze a try (when I sort through my emotional baggage and get back into dating). Have seen mixed reviews though ( @TwistedWonder 😂)

Mr PE has arranged a date. He hasn't got any more interesting but he's last iron standing 😁

Is it at least an interesting date?

I mean...pub lunch?

@Nosdacariad I bloody love a pub lunch but yes, slightly unimaginative for a first date.

Yes the combination of boring, quite a bit older, not in the best of health and miles away is not really lighting my proverbial fire 😅

BoxOfCats I know, it's an uncertain kind of situation for you, isn't it!

Nosdacariad You are really selling him

I feel guilty saying it but not in the best of health (like what?) would be a massive turn off for me.

I love a good pub lunch, especially a Sunday lunch! Not for a first date though, don't think any potential irons need to watch me shoving a double portion of roasties in my gob.

I like the idea of it but it’s hard to get matches. It’s more high stakes to say yes to someone as you then have to pay and arrange a date, so I think people are more choosy. I’ve had a few matches but either I’ve cancelled or they have so I’ve only actually been on dates with one guy, who was lovely but I didn’t feel a connection.

There’s no harm in giving it a go but it’s helpful if you live close to one of their main dating locations.

I feel guilty too but cancer and I supported my last two partners through cancer so not sure I have it in me to do it again.

When you pay for dates, what are you paying FOR exactly, and is it overpriced?

You pay about £10 and for that they will select a venue and you get your first drink included. When you match you pay then fill in a calendar showing the dates you can do over the next 2-3 weeks which is then shared with them to choose one (or offer different dates). Once you’ve locked in your date, nearer the time it will tell you the venue (before you match it will say which location you’ll meet in).

You both have to reconfirm 30 hours before the date (my last one cancelled at this point) and then you are able to message each other 4 hours before the date and for a few hours afterwards. You indicate on the app afterwards if you want to swap numbers or not. If you say no you never see or speak to them again!

For my cancelled date they refunded my token rather than the money so I won’t have to pay for my next date. They might refund if you asked though, I’m not sure.

Thanks @Polly1979 for the clear explanation. It doesn't seem madly expensive, I imagine it works best in cities?

They seem to be in a few places including towns so it’s not only big cities. Where I live is within a reasonable distance of more than one of their locations so the suggested location differs depending on where they live. You can tick your locations when you sign up so I don’t think it should try to send you anywhere you didn’t preselect.

This is great, it's exactly what happened with Mr Soughdough always 2-3 hour phone calls, this is a good sign!

Agree about double standards with sex, big red flag... I'd be mindful of that moving forwards, see if anything else pops out, maybe test it on purpose?

Last iron standing, love this. Go and see what happens, you never know... and arranging a date is always a good sign in a man...