To ignore worrying DH ChatGBT conversations

[PlantKiller1]

H and I dont really love each other. Like roommates. We are drifting further amd further apart. We have tried therapy. Didn't work. My kids are v young and ive actually been saving £ in the hope of leaving by the end of the year

He has been more distant than usual. Saying intense things about time and physics when im trying to do regular stuff like cook dinner

I was just on his computer and went to look something up on chatgbt and realised I cpuld see all his chats. And I looked at some of them im afraid

Plenty saying how frigid, cold and career driven i am and how he wants to leave the home for 3 months. Which doesn't surprise me. But other more worrying stuff. One of them being "why do celebrities alwsys do satanic hand gestures" and then questions like "is time linear" "did aliens build the pyramids" and some race theories i cant repeat.

He will say he's just "interested". But he's been withdrawn and distracted recently. Severe mental illness in his family. A close relative lives in supported living because of severity

I dont know what to do. I dont love him. Hes not v nice to me. We havw little in common. But im not sure he's well. But also how can I leave now? My kids might not be safe. I think the stress of divorce might really push him over the edge

Can I just try to forget it? Do I need to do something? He once said some really weird intense stuff a year ago about universes and I ended up calling the GP who told me "disordered thinking" was super common and nothing they could do

Yes and YES. I worry that this thread is going to do more harm than good if people just use it as a platform to describe their idiosyncratic AI searches and reassure OP that all is well, apparently ignoring all the other signs that this man is unwell, as well as her recent post clarifying that the relationship is abusive.

It seems people can't imagine what it's like to be with someone who is unravelling. You don't just sit down with someone like this and explain that you're leaving.

Imagine if he hurt her badly or the children.
Time to get away to safety for both their sakes.

I would not recommend that.
If he is psychotic or delusional he could become very aggressive.

I'd plan to have the kids stay with maternal grandparents or a sister's family if available and talk to a solicitor about divorce and selling any property.

This isn’t evidence of schizophrenia. What age is your husband?
If you aren’t happy leave. Speak to your husband and make a realistic plan to end the marriage. If you seriously think your children are at risk you could be deemed unable to protect them by staying in the marriage so be careful about getting carried away in your own thoughts.

Shouting to himself sounds concerning .
Many years ago my brother had a mental breakdown and he was then diagnosed with schizophrenia he is much more settled many years later but has become very religious and does make some very off the wall comments with his thoughts matched to this but he is very loving and stable now and lives on his own looks after himself.
I understand this is hard with 2 little ones could you speak to your family doctor about concerns and feeling unsure of his MH at the moment.
If you think he is becoming unstable he won't be allowed to see his children my brother wasn't allowed to see is son alone .
Although their relationship now is good.

What are Satanic gestures?
Just leave at the end of the year and don't worry about the ChatGpt.

based on many threads on mumsnet posters on many threads do say that you dont owe your partner a reason for splitting you can just split up etc so which is it ?

i would take this very seriously, your gut instinct is right OP. I don’t think anything you describe is ‘normal’, it is indicative of someone who is unwell. As for your question, I’m not sure how you ignore it and I do think you need to put plans in place to separate.

However what reading this thread has taught me is that way more people than I realised are into conspiracy!

I'm not sure I understand your question, nor the apparent aggression behind it...?

I have repeatedly urged OP to leave safely as soon as she can. This means making her plans quietly, without involving him. Not sitting down with this abusive and possibly unhinged man and hoping to make sense of their situation "together" as some PPs are recommending.

He doesn’t seem psychotic or delusional.

In fact OP seems more psychotic and delusional than him.

I do agree that having the kids stay elsewhere whilst they sort through the first few days of the break up is a good idea though.

apologies if i didnt frame my question correcly or politely it was in reference to this "You don't just sit down with someone like this and explain that you're leaving."

the context is on many threads on mumsnet people can just split and walk away and i was asking which method do you prefer the cut contact and walk away or the sit down and discuss then split etc ?

apologies my grammer and wording is not the best

You do know what to do,its screaming out from your post! Leave. Leave and leave. Now.

I'm putting this here for the benefit of others ...

The first sign is "I love you" in American Sign Language.

The second is devil horns, which metal rock performers and junior-school children find amusing (we were doing this in my 1960s childhood) 😏

Your un- DH is vulnerable to online misinformation and has swallowed it whole. You sound like you know he’s not safe for you, your children, or himself. I would tell all the authorities about the dangers to his life after you safely extract yourself and your children.

"why do celebrities alwsys do satanic hand gestures" and then questions like "is time linear" "did aliens build the pyramids" ...

...all of these came up on the recent Louis Theroux Manosphere show.

With a normal functioning adult, you'd obviously sit down and have the conversation.

With a coercive, controlling and possibly psychotic person (who has threatened self-harm etc when OP has tried to finish things before), you just get out safely, which means not alerting him to your plan.

Abusive men are at their most dangerous when they think their partner is about to leave them. If you add paranoid delusions into the mix, it could be the perfect storm.

The OP’s husband is coercively controlling? Have I missed something?

He "went crazy in the house for 48 hours" last time OP tried to leave him, says his resentment for her is "out of control" and he was thinking about hurting himself, and tells her he “won’t survive” her leaving. She's trapped there by fear of what he might do if she leaves him.

At the very least, this is emotional blackmail; at its worst, it's a safety risk (and not just to him). If someone escalates into chaos and threats of self‑harm when you try to create distance, they need professional support, not a partner acting as their crisis manager.

If this is the situation, it would have been better to point out this first rather than celebrity does “satanic hand signs”

I expect poor OP is so trapped in this hellhole that she can't see the wood for trees. However, her first post did include:

he's been withdrawn and distracted recently. Severe mental illness in his family. A close relative lives in supported living because of severity.
I dont know what to do. ... He's not v nice to me. ... I'm not sure he's well. But also how can I leave now? My kids might not be safe. I think the stress of divorce might really push him over the edge

If you read all her posts (filter to see all by OP), the problems become clearer and clearer. It's a real shame that so many PPs haven't bothered to read them, just jumped in with reassurance that there is nothing concerning because we all ask AI stupid questions.

What makes you say that OP sounds more psychotic and delusional?

I’m not saying she shouldn’t leave. I was replying to the poster who said she has no responsibility towards him

Of course it makes sense. If she leaves him, he will be alone with the children at times.

Im scared to leave. Because I know my husband. I hear him talking to himself. Sharing wild theories. Shouting in bed. I saw the way he acted last time I tried to leave. Screaming and saying stuff about how he felt our love was from a "higher universe" and I was ruining what could have been "on another plane". Because you cant just say to professionals "he's not safe". They dont listen. I cant even persuade people on mumsnet he's not well. So how csn i take the risk? I don't have any evidence we are at risk other than ranting, raving, tics, talk of universes, and staring at the floor unable to speak. But hes not hurting us. He has rights. I cant just take the kids and run. He's their dad. I feel completely trapped. Men do terrible things when the woman leaves. My brain is really struggling to accept the risk. Every time I try to plan, the panic sets in. Not for me. I crave being alone. I wouldn't miss a single thing. Its the kids. They're attached to me like glue.