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To ignore worrying DH ChatGBT conversations

297 replies

PlantKiller1 · 20/03/2026 19:18

H and I dont really love each other. Like roommates. We are drifting further amd further apart. We have tried therapy. Didn't work. My kids are v young and ive actually been saving £ in the hope of leaving by the end of the year

He has been more distant than usual. Saying intense things about time and physics when im trying to do regular stuff like cook dinner

I was just on his computer and went to look something up on chatgbt and realised I cpuld see all his chats. And I looked at some of them im afraid

Plenty saying how frigid, cold and career driven i am and how he wants to leave the home for 3 months. Which doesn't surprise me. But other more worrying stuff. One of them being "why do celebrities alwsys do satanic hand gestures" and then questions like "is time linear" "did aliens build the pyramids" and some race theories i cant repeat.

He will say he's just "interested". But he's been withdrawn and distracted recently. Severe mental illness in his family. A close relative lives in supported living because of severity

I dont know what to do. I dont love him. Hes not v nice to me. We havw little in common. But im not sure he's well. But also how can I leave now? My kids might not be safe. I think the stress of divorce might really push him over the edge

Can I just try to forget it? Do I need to do something? He once said some really weird intense stuff a year ago about universes and I ended up calling the GP who told me "disordered thinking" was super common and nothing they could do

OP posts:
temperedolive · 21/03/2026 02:37

TY78910 · 20/03/2026 19:43

I ask chat gpt a load of random crap. Last night I couldn’t sleep sleep and had a whole convo about sniffer dogs and what happens after they retire. If you saw my history you’d think I’m coockoo when in reality I’m just mildly interested in random shit I’d never research off my own accord because it’s too much effort. Your relationship is over already, I wouldn’t be going down the rabbit hole of seeing what he’s looking up etc - just leave him be and make your exit.

What happens to the sniffers?

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 21/03/2026 02:43

I think he’s watching alt right conspiracy theories. Not enough to prove that’s a risk to the kids though even though it’s strange and doesn’t show good judgement. Any evidence of him showing signs of psychosis?

IndigoBluey · 21/03/2026 02:45

@PlantKiller1 the gestures thing was in the recent Manosphere programme. I looked it up too. Maybe you should ask him if you are concerned. I’d hate for someone to be looking at my searches, mundane as they are! It’s like snooping on a bank account or texts that you have come across.

Lucieintheskywithdiamonds · 21/03/2026 02:53

If anyone read my ChatGPT conversations id probably be sectioned. Except for the racist stuff ive probably asked all of the other things. And a LOT about serial killers, hauntings, etc. I am a perfectly sane professional mum, promise 😂

GarlicFound · 21/03/2026 03:27

Lucieintheskywithdiamonds · 21/03/2026 02:53

If anyone read my ChatGPT conversations id probably be sectioned. Except for the racist stuff ive probably asked all of the other things. And a LOT about serial killers, hauntings, etc. I am a perfectly sane professional mum, promise 😂

Okay. Do you also rant intensely in the family kitchen about multiverses and non-linear time, and make dark references to "them" doing stuff like poisoning the water? How are your tics, and are you often surprised to find you've been shouting at yourself in the car? Do you cope with feeling down by lying in bed to shout at the empty room? And how many of your close relatives have been hospitalized with schizophrenia?

Lifeissodifficult · 21/03/2026 04:24

PlantKiller1 · 20/03/2026 19:47

I think there is a big difference asking what happens to sniffer dogs when they retire and asking why celebrities make secret satanic hand gestures and about the "creator". Yes im worried about psychosis. I cant repeat some of it as will get the message deleted. Immediate family member has schizophrenia. And he's very distant. This is not the same as looking random stuff up.

As a mental health practitioner of many years him asking questions like that of Chat GPT is not unusual- there ARE many theories about the illuminati and satanic hand gestures and that doesn’t make him unwell. My DH sleeping next to me has also talked about the theories re aliens and the pyramids and hes perfectly ok!

There is nothing to indicate your children are at risk .

Lifeissodifficult · 21/03/2026 04:27

PlayingDevilsAdvocateisinteresting · 21/03/2026 02:31

Sorry @PlantKiller1 I have only read all of your posts.

Disordered thoughts are really thoughts that other people have, that we ourselves don't. I think your GP was trying to reassure you, but without having to expend any energy on their own part.

I am not going to say that your not so dear Husband (aka H), has not got any dangerous mental health issues, with his family history he is more likely to have some, both through nature and nurture in his case. But I am not going to attempt to give you a percentage, as there will be too many variables to consider, and that is not something that any of us could undertake on a social media site - even one as good as Mumsnet! But even commonsense should make it obvious that there would be at least a slight increase in the probability of your H having some sort of MH problem.

I am an OAP OP, but I am also quite spiritual. For quite a while I had a particular interest in ancient Egypt, in fact it does still fascinate me, although I no longer read so much about it, but among my hardbacks are The Egyptian Book of the Dead, and books about various of their Deities, pharoes, way of life, etc. When I was in my junior school we were told about the pyramids in Egypt, and how they were built by mainly slave labour. Being books aimed at relatively young children, there were a lot of pictures - some of them depicting quite harsh scenarios really, especially considering they were aimed at chidren between 7 and 9 years old. Anyway, unsurprisingly, nothing was mentioned about alien beings, or spacecrafts, at either my junior or secondary schools.

However, as I got older I kept on thinking about how clever the people of those times were, and although maths was my least favourite subject until I was a lot older (in my 30's), as I struggled to understand it when I was younger, even though my DDad was actually a Mathematician - but not a teacher - I kept on wondering about how and/or where, they could have known enough about maths, and it's applications, to be able to construct the pyramids, to both function as they had intended them to, and to still be standing thousands of years later. It fair boggled my mind! So when I was about 13 years old, I came to the conclusion that the strongest probability was that the people of those times were either taught by aliens from a far more advanced civilisation than ours, or maybe quite as likely - if not more so - that we all, or at least some of us, were actually descended from aliens ourselves.

Do you think that I have a long-term mental illnes myself @PlantKiller1?Maybe, to help you reach a decision on that, I should go on to add that a few years later, I was thinking about the Old Testament, that as a Christian (I was Baptised and Confirmed into the C of E Tradition) I was taught that "we Christians" - I really hate that term - were not supposed to follow the Old Testament of the Bible as if it were the "gospel" truth, as it was just a way that the early Israelites tried to explain in a simplified form, about God, and how the Earth, and all the life on it, was formed.

Having said that, maybe there were some occult truths, within it. I believe that that is a possibility, especially as some of the stories seem to be a bit too "fantastic" to have been solely made up by the Israelites elders. So, was the story about the ability of God, through Moses, to part the Red Sea in order to give the Israelites a safe passage through the waves, and away from the pursuing Egyptions, really just a made-up up tale, or was it actually a true rendition of what had happened? Well, my way of thinking led me again to wondering if an alien spacecraft could have sent a downdraft upon the sea, to part the waves, and then did it withdraw when it saw the Egyptian soldiers, which meant that they were drowned when part way through the supposed safe pathway? I am also suggesting that maybe the Manna from Heaven was again aliens sending sustenance down from their unseen spacecraft?

Of course, my thoughts on these subjects bring many more questions than answers, and they are ones that even if I wished to share any more of my beliefs with you, I would not be able to so without a lot more research and meditation. So, have you made up your mind OP, am I as doolally as you think your H is, and are all people who open their minds to concepts that are - forgive me please - alien to you, also suffering from serious mental illnesses?
At the end of the day, I think that my thoughts, beliefs, and maybe my imaginings too, have made my life so far, much more interesting to me than I would have found yours. You could probably say the same back to me, but in reverse. Vive la difference 😊🩷

By the way, for a bit of added information about me, I am married, with wonderful, adult Children, and the most amazing and gorgeous Grandchildren. I have never been sectioned, I have never been arrested, and I only once - a long time ago - had a speeding ticket.

I have two rhetorical questions for you OP; do you believe in any God, and if not, do you think that everyone who does believe in a Higher Being, must themselves be mentally ill?

Mental health nurse here - fabulous response.

TapsOff · 21/03/2026 05:13

Some very odd responses here.

OP he’s on a clear arc, which is that he went online looking up stuff about you being ‘frigid’ (ugh, but essentially a cack handed attempt at a ‘why is won’t my partner sleep with me?’ type question). From there, he found the manosphere, which as we know likes hooking in people with fragile masculinity and providing them with a range of answers, all of which amount to suggesting the world is stacked against them, even conspiring against them, rather than their position being a consequence of their own actions. Men take to this like catnip, and the wider media ecosystem of it is a network of conspiracies that all bolster this attitude and relinquishing of personal responsibility.

Unfortunately, this stuff has very strong effects on those with pre-existing mental health vulnerabilities. It is like a huge dose of confirmation for their least rational thoughts. A lifetime of trying not to be paranoid and suddenly here is a whole internet of people saying they were right, actually. It is even more potent for men who live at an overlap of all these themes: heterosexual marriage, mental illness tendency, low self esteem. Suddenly it is all clear: his wife doesn’t like him because there’s a chip controlling her brain and the government are secretly oestrogenating his water supply.

I think it’s a perfect storm and he won’t be coming out of it easily. If it were me, I would ask him to do a total and long-lasting digital detox. Like you, I would avoid leaving the children with him at all cost. Long term plan has to be to leave, but short term I’m not sure that’s sensible. You would be very unreasonable to ignore this. You need to start working out what will be safest for you and the kids, and also an emergency plan for if he gets violent or much worse very quickly.

UndoRedo · 21/03/2026 05:49

God I need to up my game with chatgpt, we have very boring conversations. Although I did ask it yesterday if I should mow the lawns and it said I had done enough for the day and go have a glass of wine...

Glitterella · 21/03/2026 06:14

Note to self: delete your ChatGPT history. 😂

Bepo77 · 21/03/2026 06:17

PlantKiller1 · 20/03/2026 19:42

"Why do celebrities always do satanic hand gestures?"

A thought provoking question?

It's a bit whacky but it's a conspiracy theory that loads of people are into. Jim Carey once did an interview talking about it, now that he's trending maybe your husband saw or was reminded of it. Maybe your husband has mental health issues, maybe he doesn't, but his questions aren't evidence to me.

beeble347 · 21/03/2026 06:54

I'm amazed people think the satanic hand gestures and unrepeatable race theory questions are fine.

OP I've had family with mental illness and increasing interest in conspiracy theories is definitely concerning, especially if someone is already starting to withdraw - your marriage sounds lonely already and I don't have the rest of the context for what his life is like. But I'd contact the GP/111 for advice. Illness or not, these aren't theories I'd want anyone repeating to my children.

One of the most dangerous times for a woman at risk of abuse is when she leaves or is planning to leave. I do understand what you're saying about your DC and wouldn't leave him alone with them either. If you don't feel at immediate risk, I'd similarly be looking at flagging DH mental health to professionals while planning to leave.

I don't know how shared custody works or if he'd be able to have them before a court order - surely if he's working he'd struggle with 50% if you're normally the one home with them?

GreenGoblin09 · 21/03/2026 07:00

YANBU.
I'd share your concerns with his GP so that they are documented - yes, I'd also think about mental health and worry about deterioration over time, especially with his family history.

waddlepenguin · 21/03/2026 07:22

I'm sorry you're going through this @PlantKiller1

Your concerns are completely valid and I believe you need to take necessary steps to safeguard yourself and your children. There's an immense difference between innocent prompts to AI versus using it to confirm ones own biases about race / conspiracy theories. We must all remember that AI will mostly tell us what we want to hear as opposed to challenging our views, and as such it becomes incredibly dangerous for those who already have a shaky foundation i.e., mental illness.

If your work has one, I would recommend using your Employee Assistance Programme to get some free legal advice. As others have said, contact MIND as well. I completely understand you also wanting to consider how divorce could push him over the edge, and the fact that you have 2 kids with him; however, it is truly not your responsibility solely. If you have family you could get the kids to stay with more regularly, as you make plans, that would be sound.

BeautifulMarc · 21/03/2026 07:26

OP, I hate to ask this but are you the same person whose husband threw their young son off a chair around Christmas? You have an absolutely identical posting style and set up.

If you are then I hope you will leave asap because you and your children don't sound safe. Please ignore the posters who haven't read the thread properly and are only focusing in the chatgpt stuff.

Babybirdmum · 21/03/2026 07:30

WinterSunglasses · 21/03/2026 00:32

The good thing is it looks like he’s questioning them and not taking them at face value.

What gives you the impression he's questioning them? There's nothing to indicate that in OP's posts.

OP I can't believe so many posters are taking this so lightly. If you have under fives, I would be concerned about the long years of co parenting ahead. Do you live near your family? Have a good support system nearby? If the answer is no I would look into moving after separation.

Well if you put those things she has said into chatgpt it won’t come back and as “yes celebrities do satanic hand gestures because they’re all in the illuminati” it will give you a balanced answer questioning the nature of your statement.

TY78910 · 21/03/2026 07:32

temperedolive · 21/03/2026 02:37

What happens to the sniffers?

Mostly they stay with their handlers as pets but in the event the handlers can’t adopt them, they will go to another family that’s suitable (they need a bit more than a regular dog). I wanted to know what they randomly sniff out people when in public and what happens but apparently they work on commands rather than just the smell alone so you start weaning them off “work” and they become regular dogs but may sometimes get drawn to a bag / sit on the floor by a person but won’t do anything beyond that.

Random 1am chat chatter

WonderingWhatWillHappen · 21/03/2026 07:43

I cannot believe people are minimising this stuff.

It's fine to ask about things generally, to read about various theories to learn about why they exist, where they came from etc or even to think slightly mad thoughts at times. I suffer from intrusive thoughts and completely understand that.

What the OP is describing is her H slipping into conspiracy delusion and displaying extremely concerning behaviour. Not to mention that they hate each other!

OP don't minimise this. Start to plan to leave. Support him as your children's father but he is an adult. Protect yourself and your children first.

Comtesse · 21/03/2026 07:47

mumof5five · 20/03/2026 20:10

I dont think anything he has said sounds like a mental illness he seems like a really deep thinker.

Not at all. He sounds depressed and given family mental illness, some of this (eg satanic hand gestures) might suggest he’s getting worse.

PlantKiller1 · 21/03/2026 10:03

I really do think there is a difference between using ChatGPT to find out more about theories and asking questions that strongly imply you believe certain things.

If someone said to me in the pub "how do you reckon the pyramids got built" that is v different to if someone said "isnt it crazy that so many celebrities worshop the devil and have secret symbols"

The first is inquisitive. The second is deeply paranoid.

There are a couple of PP that think me questioning this stuff is some sort of indication that im close minded and my husband is some deep, inquisitive thinker and I just don't understand all this deep spirtual thinking. I promise that is a mischaracterisation of what is happening here.

OP posts:
Screamingabdabz · 21/03/2026 10:18

Why are you ‘cooking dinner’ and keeping the wheels on while he’s got time on his hands to indulge in nutjob theories? Why isn’t he helping to run the house and do childcare? Tell him to get his arse off the computer and do something useful.

JLou08 · 21/03/2026 10:32

PlantKiller1 · 20/03/2026 22:24

There is thinking outside the box and then there is paranoia.

As I say, he didnt ask "give me more info about the theory celebs are satanists"..he said "why do celebrities always make satanic hand gestures".

He talks to himself a fair bit. He has tics.

I would say his MH is poor generally but he keeps it together. Holds down a job etc. I get the brunt of the bad moods. Just the ChatGPT stuff was pretty intense. As you say it's v manosphere related. And calling me "frigid and career driven". Sometimes when I come home from work early and clean/cook he makes strange jokes about me "finally doing what nature intends" and then just says its a joke. He's definitely not a fast car/money bloke. Hes older. Highly insecure. A bit bitter.

I don't love him. But I worry about him deeply. Amd I just am not convinced its safe to leave him. Unsafe men get custody all the time. It just feels like he's gripping on to stability but if it wasnt for me amd the kids...I think he'd be on that computer every hoir

Why do you think you're saving him by staying? You're full of contempt for him and his Chatgpt shows he feels that. Living with that destroys a person's mental health, it doesn't make it better.

InBedBy10 · 21/03/2026 10:50

Being in a relationship with someone who doesn't love/care about you is soul destroying. Ive been there and was clinically depressed by the time I found the courage to finally leave after years of being miserable. Your husband sounds depressed and may be falling down rabbit holes because of this.

Honestly OP stop making excuses and just end the relationship. Ive 4 kids, I know its going to be hard but in the end it will be so much better for all of you. Once I got away from my ex it was like a fog lifted and I could suddenly think clearly again.

If he does have MH problems being in this relationship is not helping him. The longer he stays the more depressed, resentful and paranoid hes going to get. End it.

PlantKiller1 · 21/03/2026 11:14

I have tried to end it before but he says he csnt survive without me. When I talk about our relationship at all he says I make him feel "unsafe" and im being disloyal. I tried to leave last year and he basically went crazy in the house for 48 hours until I agreed to do therapy.

OP posts:
Onlyhereforthebatshitneighbours · 21/03/2026 11:26

PlantKiller1 · 21/03/2026 11:14

I have tried to end it before but he says he csnt survive without me. When I talk about our relationship at all he says I make him feel "unsafe" and im being disloyal. I tried to leave last year and he basically went crazy in the house for 48 hours until I agreed to do therapy.

That's abusive. Look up signs of coercive control