To ignore worrying DH ChatGBT conversations

[PlantKiller1]

H and I dont really love each other. Like roommates. We are drifting further amd further apart. We have tried therapy. Didn't work. My kids are v young and ive actually been saving £ in the hope of leaving by the end of the year

He has been more distant than usual. Saying intense things about time and physics when im trying to do regular stuff like cook dinner

I was just on his computer and went to look something up on chatgbt and realised I cpuld see all his chats. And I looked at some of them im afraid

Plenty saying how frigid, cold and career driven i am and how he wants to leave the home for 3 months. Which doesn't surprise me. But other more worrying stuff. One of them being "why do celebrities alwsys do satanic hand gestures" and then questions like "is time linear" "did aliens build the pyramids" and some race theories i cant repeat.

He will say he's just "interested". But he's been withdrawn and distracted recently. Severe mental illness in his family. A close relative lives in supported living because of severity

I dont know what to do. I dont love him. Hes not v nice to me. We havw little in common. But im not sure he's well. But also how can I leave now? My kids might not be safe. I think the stress of divorce might really push him over the edge

Can I just try to forget it? Do I need to do something? He once said some really weird intense stuff a year ago about universes and I ended up calling the GP who told me "disordered thinking" was super common and nothing they could do

It's not helpful to call someone who potentially has schizophrenia a "nut job". He has done nothing at all to indicate he is a risk to the children. There is no guarantee he would get 50/50 custody anyway. That can be dealt with after the separation.

Ah our posts crossed. @Beachtastic God. Im so sorry to hear about your DP. Did he recover?

Yesterday DH was a bit late coming home. And I instantly thought he'd run off somewhere or hurt himself.

He once mentioned that there is stuff in the water that makes people docile. I snorted with laughter and he backtracked saying it was possible "they" were doing it. I probably wasnt as kind as I could have been.

I do try to be sympathetic. But while he's reading about pyramids im doing 99% of everything. And he has been cruel to me ober the yrs. He's v self involved

Well I'm sure I'm not the only one, but yes, I was with someone like this. It was a long time ago and yes, I did leave him! - but only after a couple of years of trying to make sense of things. I remember turning over a notebook in his campervan and finding scrawled notes similar to what you describe.

Given that he went on to attempt murder, I feel I had a lucky escape.

I'm sorry to keep posting on your thread, but I feel kind of invested. People don't take this sort of thing seriously enough.

Trust your instincts and get away from him as soon as you can, woudl be my advice.

Does he take drugs? Weed and psychedelics didn't do much to help my ex, although it probably just sped up something that was going to happen anyway.

@Beachtastic thank you for sharing. Terrifying. You didny have any kids together?

No drugs for a long time. Socially isolated though. And unhappy. His gran and brother are/were both institutionalised with MH.

Also I know i don't love him because when I read "I think maybe I need to leave my wife for 3 months as a trial" I thought "oh please do!" Relief at the thought. No sadness whatsoever

Shocked as to how many people aren’t reading beyond the first post to the thoughts of harming, shouting at himself, etc.

OP, please speak to a women’s charity on how you can safely leave. They will have had experience of this kind of thing. From someone with experience of this, it sounds like it’s escalating.

If your husband is really unwell as he sounds, then you and your children are not safe. You can’t make him get help and you have to put your children first. Bring forward your plans to leave. Let his family/ friends or someone particular who can support him what your plans are and why. Once you’re settled you need to explain to him that if he wants to have the children on his own, he will need to get help. Tell the kids that dad is unwell if they ask. Nobody is saying it will be easy but you need to protect your children.
I left a dangerous situation 23 years ago with 2 small children and some black bags. Best thing we ever did. 💐

Our posts keep crossing 😁 because I am responding very quickly!

No, he didn't recover. I went on to have a fantastic life, but he ended up in jail (not for the attempted murder; things got worse). No, I didn't have kids with him, thankfully.

What you say about the "stuff in the water that sends people docile" reminds me of him. For example, he was wary of my cat sleeping on the bed because he worried that they had little parasites that controlled our minds. He also said that he still had something stuck in his body after a kid at school inserted something magically in class one day. I sort of overlooked this at the time (along with many other things) because I was in love with him and he was hot in bed!!!! 🫣

He was also obsessed with pyramids, the multiverse, secret signals etc.

Like I said earlier, your superpower is that you're not in love with him, so you won't be blinded by such nonsense.

I don't think you can think of someone like this in terms of "unkind" or "self-involved" - that's how we interpret normal behaviour. He honestly sounds very unwell. The sad thing is that before I experienced what I did, I honestly thought that there was a clear line drawn with MH issues and if someone did something overtly crazy like trying to kill someone, they would be locked away. Well ha bloody ha. It doesn't work like that, as I and many others learned.

Don't wait for outside agencies to step in and protect you. You must protect yourself, and your children. Don't override your instincts here. The worst that can happen if you're wrong is that you overreacted. The worst that can happen if you're right (as I think you are) is that you are all in potential danger.

That sounds like a lot of the manosphere stuff out there

Exactly...I don't fimd that a strange question at all. There are a few videos on social media mentioning/discussing it.

Do you believe celebrities are making secret satanistic symbols on camera? To each other?

I would take this seriously, I work in mental health and if a client/patient shared this, I would take it seriously particularly against the background of a family history of schizophrenia. With a sibling who has schizophrenia the statistical likelihood, of a sibling developing the condition is roughly 10% against the general population which is 1%. Genetics is not the only factor.

it may be worth having a more detailed conversation with your GP about your concerns. The significant difficulty is that patients need to ask for help unless they are symptomatically presenting as a danger to themselves or others.

There are Early intervention psychosis teams for individuals experiencing first psychotic episode. I am not an expert on their referral criteria but your husband may not meet the criteria currently, unless there is more you are not aware of.

Your safety and the safety of your children has to be paramount. Women and children are harmed by family members regularly. A discussion with Women’s aid could be useful.

i wish you all the best in navigating this.

It’s so easy to see conspiracy theories on your social media feed these days which is partly why I came off it. All the things he’s asked chatgpt are part of really common conspiracies theories that come up often on people’s feeds. The good thing is it looks like he’s questioning them and not taking them at face value. Send him some articles on conspiracy theories online and how to tell fact from fiction, it can be really tricky these days, unless you’re chronically online you wouldn’t know. Things about Jews running the world, pizzagage, all a load of bollocks when you look into it

People are allowed to be mentally ill, and most mentally ill people are more at risk of being harmed than harming others statistically. I’d be worried, though. Also, children in Reception class are known to be open about home life and if there’s a safeguarding concern raised you will be asked how long the children have seen their Dad behaving like this to their Mum, even if he’s no risk to them directly. I mean this kindly. I got divorced with young DC and it was a relief, not because my ex-husband was mentally ill - he was a totally sane abusive man and I didn’t want that to become DC’s normal.

I still remember the face on my nasty abusive exH's face when he threatened divorce and for once I said yes, let's divorce. He stopped shouting abuse at me and went silent for a minute. He didn't really know what to say.

And it's when I knew it was over. I genuinely, suddenly didn't care anymore.

My ex had psychosis OP and I had to really fight for sole custody of DS. it was a very scary time. I didnt feel the courts or police really listened to me. It was worse becauae ex would not get a psychiatric evaluation and appeared rational in court.
It was only at the very end he let the mask slip and I was awarded custody.
I had no doubt he would harm DS if he was left with him.
Now an adult he says he was terrified of his father.

Pizza gate was proven to be a hoax....

Yes it’s a thing in the media a lot now! Andrew Tate kind of shit and loads of people talk about it! My DH searching this wouldn’t worry me, but if I wasn’t happy with my DH I’d leave regardless.

Thank you @Quarrystone I presume my children also have more % chance of developing it too.

I know when I spoke to a GP before she described it as "disorderd thinking" and said "plenty of people hold disordered thoughts and are perfectly safe amd funxtion well".

He hasn't threatened my safety. He mentioned once "heading towards" hurting himself. His tics are quite bad. He told me when hes in the car he suddenly realises has been shouting to himself.

Could you try to be an actual flatmate and befriend him?

Then he might open up about some of his thoughts etc, without any judgement aiming his way.

People are always talking about Sharia law on social media. though. If OP thinks the race theories would be banned here they must be extreme.

Leaving him does not mean he won’t see the kids.

He’ll see lots of the kids but alone.

This could be a tic disorder separate from the ChatGPT thing. Shouting is a fairly common tic.

As we can see from this thread, people like to normalise things. But I suspect what you are seeing is the tip of the iceberg of what's actually going on inside his head.

I'm going to bed now but just wanted to wish you well with this and urge you again: better safe than sorry.

I mean it's not as though you love him and want to make a vibrant relationship work! You can do this OP! x

So did the aliens pyramids thing.

And the comments about work obsessed frigid wife would fit as well.

ICK ICK ICK.