To ignore worrying DH ChatGBT conversations

[PlantKiller1]

H and I dont really love each other. Like roommates. We are drifting further amd further apart. We have tried therapy. Didn't work. My kids are v young and ive actually been saving £ in the hope of leaving by the end of the year

He has been more distant than usual. Saying intense things about time and physics when im trying to do regular stuff like cook dinner

I was just on his computer and went to look something up on chatgbt and realised I cpuld see all his chats. And I looked at some of them im afraid

Plenty saying how frigid, cold and career driven i am and how he wants to leave the home for 3 months. Which doesn't surprise me. But other more worrying stuff. One of them being "why do celebrities alwsys do satanic hand gestures" and then questions like "is time linear" "did aliens build the pyramids" and some race theories i cant repeat.

He will say he's just "interested". But he's been withdrawn and distracted recently. Severe mental illness in his family. A close relative lives in supported living because of severity

I dont know what to do. I dont love him. Hes not v nice to me. We havw little in common. But im not sure he's well. But also how can I leave now? My kids might not be safe. I think the stress of divorce might really push him over the edge

Can I just try to forget it? Do I need to do something? He once said some really weird intense stuff a year ago about universes and I ended up calling the GP who told me "disordered thinking" was super common and nothing they could do

I’m completely sane and earlier today was asking about ‘adrenochrome withdrawal’ because of a comment on a news article. Turns out it was exactly what I guessed and was conspiracy related. I often google conspiracy stuff to understand what the train of thought is. Doesn’t mean I buy into it.

You say he is more distant than usual. I remember reading about the "lizard-like flat stare" associated with schizophrenia, and I couldn't have worded it better myself. I can't find it now but have never forgotten that particular description.

This is the more basic NHS description at
https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/schizophrenia/symptoms/

In all honesty, I don't mind listening to a bit of conspiracy content, and the celebrity satanic hand gestures is pretty vanilla-you hatdly need to hunt through the dark web to find a montage of celebrities doing the eye thing or making the triangle sign. Its not very deep. I am a sound-minded, stable, logical thinking person, affirmed by my husband who has an allergy to anything tinfoil hat related. I accept I don't know it all and while I don't take any of it at face value, I do leave a little mental space to believe the unbelievable. I think this is an overreaction.

Loads of people are interested in conspiracy theories and I find they are interesting. Some people just can't tolerate anyone not thinking just like them or seeing a different angle to life. To be honest u sound bit like that.
I don't see anything weird about his chat conversations.

Im not saying this is your husband but my DH was like this before having a manic episode then being sectioned. He started talking non stop about AI bots and was convinced we were being listened to. I could also see his ChatGPT account as he had logged into his acoount on my computer and didnt sign out. It became increasingly concerning as he became more paranoid about me/the kids. I was able to get him to GP who put in an emergency referral for an assessment and he was sectioned that night when he became very aggressive at the hospital. Looking back there had been a slow build up for weeks before this point.

I'm sorry but until I experienced this with an ex-DP I would have dismissed it as an overreaction. He began reading "satanic intent" into all sorts of things including my Xmas card design and people's online avatars. It led to him trying to kill a friend.

Yes we all look up bollox but I think what OP is describing is definitely concerning

No because he also shouts to himself and admits he has deep resentment for the OP, and has been ranting to chat gpt about how cold and frigid she is.

I'd be worried for my safety if I was OP. And yes there's a big link between conspiracy theorists and mental health. And with all of the other info OP has provided if you bothered to read, you'd understand there's very concerning behaviours.

Yes. I think there is a definite gap on the comments here from those who have direct experience of this kind of MH and those who don't and are just judging it based on their own behaviours.

Did you look up anything on the epstein files? His bank account was in the name of Baal which is a satanic demon. He was friends with many celebrities and politicians. What was once conspiracy isn't that out there anymore. Fair enough it might be out there but I wouldn't call him crazy for asking

The searches and ranting to himself don't sound normal, from an outside perspective. If he wasn't massively into conspiracy theories in the past you know this is not a normal pattern for him.

I would speak to Mind - they have an 'Infoline' open weekdays and should be able to offer more specific advice than any of us. Or failing that see if you can get some guidance from the GP or even NHS 111 if it escalates over the weekend.

The new version of ChatGPT builds a picture of MH needs fairly quickly unless he has memory turned off so it doesn’t connect his conversations. I went on a course about it last week.

You should trust your instincts here. The weird things and of us look up are only relevant in context and you’ve described feeling unsafe so you should act accordingly. Are you in contact with any services - for him, you or the kids?

I wouldn't be as worried about the GPT conspiracy questions as you are, sane people believe all sorts of weird things. But lying in bed stressed and shouting out loud is NOT normal.
Can you sit him down and have an honest conversation that you're worried about his mental health? His reaction to that will likely tell you whether you should support him to get help or get out of there and leave him to it!

I have struggled and continue to struggle with my MH and find GPT helpful in formulating how I am thinking.

I would give him numbers of samaritans etc as well as perhaps suggesting a GP appointment.
Also, ask him if he is considering suicide. It is an important thing to ask and people should not be afraid to ask,

OP trust you instincts. There’s a reason this is different for you than others saying they ask ChatGPT weird questions. How would he react if you asked him about it? That’s the key. If he wouldn’t care or just be a bit embarrassed it’s probably no big deal, but I get the feeling you think he would react differently. I have worked in mental health and my husband has mental health issues but it still took a long time for us to realise how unwell he was when he was deteriorating and it was nigh on impossible to get the help until he did something they couldn’t ignore.

I wouldn’t worry about your kids in the event of divorce, you have the right to refuse contact or request supervised contact if you are concerned about their safety.

How old is your DH?

Keep saving the money and making plans to leave, it may be that part of the reason your relationship has declined is actually his mental health, but time will tell.

Have you had concerns like this before, op?

I do think it sounds concerning. Agree that it would be sensible to take photos of the ChatGPT stuff. Of course we all search for silly stuff online but that’s completely different from what you’re describing.

I would be making plans to leave. Anywhere you can go? Friends/family? I would think through what you’d want to grab if you had to leave quickly, but better to do it before it’s absolutely necessary.

You just need to leave. His mental health may significantly improve when you leave. Your both stuck in a loveless marriage, what he wrote about you in chatgpt shows he recognises and feels that there's no warmth there. You're not doing anyone any favours by sticking around.

Reading some of your comments I feel so dull and boring. All I ever ask ChatGPT is to correct my emails and to help me with my diet plans.😫

AI chat use leading to serious mental illness is a definite thing, there have been articles about it in the press over the last few months and it's to do with the way AI feeds the user damaging ideas and reaffirms dangerous or misplaced beliefs. The op is right to be concerned.

I just watched the new Louis Theroux documentary on Netflix and there was reference to a hand gesture and aliens building the pyramids on there, so if he has watched that he may have just searched out of interest , to understand more about what the idiots on there were talking about

And this potential nut job taking care of two young children ALONE won't be toxic? Or do you just expect him to happily sign away all rights to shared custody at OP's request?

Honestly OP, if I were you, I would wait until the DC are older. If he's a conspiracy nut he'll be trying to force those ideas on your DC as soon as he gets them alone, which is far more toxic than living with two parents who are just rubbing along in a loveless marriage.

OP:
You don't really love each other.
You are like roommates.
You are drifting apart.
Your couple's therapy did not work.
You want to leave.
He wants to leave.
He thinks you are frigid, and cold.

Well, on that basis, why stay with him because he asks ChatGPT weird questions?

You need to make plans to leave him. You can't stay with him because he might be developing a mental illness.

Your rationale that he might develop his mental illness faster if you leave him is not based on consideration for yourself or your kids. If you leave and he has a mental breakdown he won't be having parental responsibility.

Putting yourself and your kids through living with someone who sees you like that can't be great for your own mental health or your kids' understanding of what a loving family looks like.

And to be frank both of you being so unhappy in this relationship can't be good for his mental health, either.

I cannot believe how dismissive people are of what does sound like potential psychosis and at a minimum mental health issues.
as for the poster asking why are you worried about the children’s safety if you leave, I’m worried about their critical thinking capacity.
im not sure what you can do op, beyond tell some friends and family, call 111 as a poster advised (but he doesn’t sound at the point they can do anything without him being the one asking)
if you weren’t worried about the kids I’d say divorce for sure, you can’t stay for him. But I don’t know.

That's true, after reading this thread I am going to search it myself!