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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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To ignore worrying DH ChatGBT conversations

297 replies

PlantKiller1 · 20/03/2026 19:18

H and I dont really love each other. Like roommates. We are drifting further amd further apart. We have tried therapy. Didn't work. My kids are v young and ive actually been saving £ in the hope of leaving by the end of the year

He has been more distant than usual. Saying intense things about time and physics when im trying to do regular stuff like cook dinner

I was just on his computer and went to look something up on chatgbt and realised I cpuld see all his chats. And I looked at some of them im afraid

Plenty saying how frigid, cold and career driven i am and how he wants to leave the home for 3 months. Which doesn't surprise me. But other more worrying stuff. One of them being "why do celebrities alwsys do satanic hand gestures" and then questions like "is time linear" "did aliens build the pyramids" and some race theories i cant repeat.

He will say he's just "interested". But he's been withdrawn and distracted recently. Severe mental illness in his family. A close relative lives in supported living because of severity

I dont know what to do. I dont love him. Hes not v nice to me. We havw little in common. But im not sure he's well. But also how can I leave now? My kids might not be safe. I think the stress of divorce might really push him over the edge

Can I just try to forget it? Do I need to do something? He once said some really weird intense stuff a year ago about universes and I ended up calling the GP who told me "disordered thinking" was super common and nothing they could do

OP posts:
Allisnotlost1 · 20/03/2026 23:32

This reply has been deleted

Derailing post

Sorry but what the fuck does this have to do with anything?

WTAFIsWrongWithPeople · 20/03/2026 23:34

As was the “putting things in the water” thing and women “naturally” being the ones that should do housework.

BreezyMintHiker · 20/03/2026 23:35

I dread to think what someone would think if they saw the things I ask ChatGPT. All sorts of nonsense.

EEHHH · 20/03/2026 23:38

I ask chatgbt all sorts of stuff, from normal things to the down right odd thing.
Is it true pigs cant see the wind.
Did giants help build the pyramids.
How to make a cheeseless pizza.
Why do fruit loops taste the same when they are called fruit loops but dont taste like fruit.
Is a fish meat.
Dose the meglodon still exist.
Are there still dinosaurs still alive on some hidden island, due to the fact some know so much about them, it cant all come from looking at a bone can it.
My list goes on, i sound like a right twit.
In my defence if its in my head i have to get it out no matter how stupid i sound.

MontyDong · 20/03/2026 23:40

I find his message about his resentment towards op being out of control much more worrying than the rest.

OP I know you are staying to protect the children but if it came to a physical fight do you think you could protect them?

BertieBotts · 20/03/2026 23:43

I would ask to speak to a different GP. It might be true that lots of people have disordered thoughts and function well, but he is not functioning well and you have concerns about leaving your children in his sole care. Or possibly it is not currently at a point where intervention would be advised but a mental health charity or helpline could advise you on what to do and look out for.

I will say one thing about leaving because I think a lot of people have this worry that if they stay they are there to "supervise" but if they leave and the DC are alone with their father he may be able to do harm. The problem is that depending on what harm you are trying to protect them from, being physically in the same house does not always achieve that. This is not the same as an abuse situation but in the example of an abusive relationship, the children are experiencing the effects of the father's abuse whether the mother is there or not, and in fact leaving will reduce the amount of abuse they are exposed to because when you're together, they live with an abuser 100% of the time. When you leave, they live with an abuser 50% of the time or often less. This is a reduction of the abuse by half. It makes a huge difference. It is like saying that you can protect children from a father who smokes because when he smokes you take them into another room so he doesn't smoke in the same room as them. But it's smoke, it permeates everywhere and living in a smoky house 24/7 has serious health consequences whereas if they have a smoke-free house at least half of the time, it helps because it really does reduce their smoke exposure.

I don't know if the analogy really does work in this case but I thought I would include it because I think it helps to see things in a different way for some scenarios. We imagine that we can protect them by remaining in the house but be honest with yourself about how much actual protective power you have (this is not easy).

MontyDong · 20/03/2026 23:45

Is he ever abusive towards the children?

GreenSteal · 20/03/2026 23:46

PlantKiller1 · 20/03/2026 23:23

Thank you @Quarrystone I presume my children also have more % chance of developing it too.

I know when I spoke to a GP before she described it as "disorderd thinking" and said "plenty of people hold disordered thoughts and are perfectly safe amd funxtion well".

He hasn't threatened my safety. He mentioned once "heading towards" hurting himself. His tics are quite bad. He told me when hes in the car he suddenly realises has been shouting to himself.

A 10-minute GP appointment is not designed to assess fluctuating or emerging mental health crises. 111 would likely take this more seriously. Also as the tics are getting worse, he seems very stressed.

ThatPearlkitty · 21/03/2026 00:07

Allisnotlost1 · 20/03/2026 23:32

Sorry but what the fuck does this have to do with anything?

i used it as an example of how you can get a summary of all the chats a person has been asking it, eg if the op only has minutes to read her dh chatgpt history and if theres lots of chats she could ask it to generate a summary of the main themes of his chats etc

ThatPearlkitty · 21/03/2026 00:08

EEHHH · 20/03/2026 23:38

I ask chatgbt all sorts of stuff, from normal things to the down right odd thing.
Is it true pigs cant see the wind.
Did giants help build the pyramids.
How to make a cheeseless pizza.
Why do fruit loops taste the same when they are called fruit loops but dont taste like fruit.
Is a fish meat.
Dose the meglodon still exist.
Are there still dinosaurs still alive on some hidden island, due to the fact some know so much about them, it cant all come from looking at a bone can it.
My list goes on, i sound like a right twit.
In my defence if its in my head i have to get it out no matter how stupid i sound.

matches some of my requests and questions ive asked it

ThatPearlkitty · 21/03/2026 00:12

i just realised chatgpt is basically an advanced version of ask jeeves from years ago

Shatandfattered · 21/03/2026 00:18

I watch a lot of things that make me investigate on chatgpt it's totally normal considering just how obviously corrupt the world is and the US just opened a domain naked aliens.org and have officially said they're releasing stuff. After the Epstein files and being made to look like kooks to the truth I don't think it's a stretch anymore to question such out of the scope topics. To be honest I want the aliens to hurry up cause Trump is a disaster 😂

That being said the relationship is another issue entirely and I don't think it's fair to start looking for things to question his competence especially when uv read harsh things about urself. Take some time to really analyse and don't look for problems that aren't there it'll only stress u out no matter what u choose to do

Quarrystone · 21/03/2026 00:21

PlantKiller1 · 20/03/2026 23:23

Thank you @Quarrystone I presume my children also have more % chance of developing it too.

I know when I spoke to a GP before she described it as "disorderd thinking" and said "plenty of people hold disordered thoughts and are perfectly safe amd funxtion well".

He hasn't threatened my safety. He mentioned once "heading towards" hurting himself. His tics are quite bad. He told me when hes in the car he suddenly realises has been shouting to himself.

@PlantKiller1 An uncle is a second-degree relative (lower risk), whereas a parent or sibling with the condition (first-degree) carries a higher risk. The statistical likelihood of your children developing schizophrenia is approx. 2-3% if the only relative with the condition is an uncle. This is still a relatively low risk as the general population risk is 1% and schizophrenia is caused by both genetic and environmental factors. . This risk would increase if your husband developed the condition.

Not everyone who develops psychosis has schizophrenia and it is certainly not clear that your husband has this condition. Individuals can have psychotic episodes and recover. Some studies show that following a first psychotic episode approx. 25% have no further episodes. Others may require ongoing medication therapy to manage the condition. It’s worth noting that early intervention leads to better outcomes.

Psychosis can also be triggered by severe depression, bipolar disorder, substance use, intense stress, trauma or physical health issues.

Early help is key.

Wordsmithery · 21/03/2026 00:31

OP please do trust your instincts. You know your husband better than anybody else. And it's one think looking up interesting (some might say odd) questions like 'is time linear?'. But asking lots of questions AND believing conspiracy theories AND shouting to yourself AND developing tics... As a package, these things are more than the sum of their parts.
I think MIND is the best suggestion I've seen here. If it turns out you've been worrying about nothing, great. But if there's something wrong, ignoring it could be catastrophic.

WinterSunglasses · 21/03/2026 00:32

Babybirdmum · 20/03/2026 23:19

It’s so easy to see conspiracy theories on your social media feed these days which is partly why I came off it. All the things he’s asked chatgpt are part of really common conspiracies theories that come up often on people’s feeds. The good thing is it looks like he’s questioning them and not taking them at face value. Send him some articles on conspiracy theories online and how to tell fact from fiction, it can be really tricky these days, unless you’re chronically online you wouldn’t know. Things about Jews running the world, pizzagage, all a load of bollocks when you look into it

The good thing is it looks like he’s questioning them and not taking them at face value.

What gives you the impression he's questioning them? There's nothing to indicate that in OP's posts.

OP I can't believe so many posters are taking this so lightly. If you have under fives, I would be concerned about the long years of co parenting ahead. Do you live near your family? Have a good support system nearby? If the answer is no I would look into moving after separation.

Pistachiocake · 21/03/2026 00:32

Ace56 · 20/03/2026 19:38

I’m not sure what the issue is here - why don’t you think your kids are safe?

You clearly want to leave each other so why don’t you?

What wrong with him asking ChatGPT random thought-provoking questions?

The only one I would have an issue is would be the racist one, but decent people might look at these if a friend/coworker has experienced racism, to try to help them, I suppose, just as we all learned about MLK/segregation etc. It doesn't necessarily mean he's bad, if he's trying to learn to challenge racist attitudes.
Maybe seeing a different therapist could help, OP?

everynamewastaken · 21/03/2026 00:38

I don't think you should delay divorce - in fact you've said about saving money but if you're not actively working on the marriage I think it would be better for both of you if you left sooner rather than later.

Regarding the psychosis - I'm in quite a similar position. Really considering leaving my husband but he suffers from severe depression and has suicidal thoughts (and mental health issues in general with some of the logic that goes through his head). We spoke about this the other day and I told him I would still be there for him even if we split and I told him I still think he needs to see a psychiatrist / psychologist and helped him find the names of the right people. I reminded him that he needs to do it for himself and our daughter - that there would be no promises it would fix us but that I want him to be well etc. regardless. Can you offer the same support or do you feel that would be too tough? If not, can you contact a family member and ask them to be that support instead? That was going to be my plan b - to inform his mum about the situation so he had someone who was aware.

Vivi0 · 21/03/2026 01:08

I wouldn’t consider asking about aliens and whether time is linear as worrying.

Ancient Aliens, the TV show, has something like 20 odd seasons, and doesn’t Einstein’s Theory of Relativity suggest that time isn’t linear?

If he was saying things like he thought he had been abducted by aliens and had a chip implanted that was controlling him, well, that’s entirely different.

But he does sound very stressed.

I mean, you are planning to leave him and he mentions that you are cold towards him. I can imagine that it is incredibly stressful for a spouse who is in the dark about being left, but is picking up on the distance with no explanation given for it.

This could well be causing or exacerbating his stress levels.

You are probably best just being honest with him and separating.

Is he an imminent danger to you and your children based on his search history? I just don’t see it.

amylou8 · 21/03/2026 01:44

Don't look at my Chatgpt conversations, you'd have me sectioned!!

LucyLoo1972 · 21/03/2026 01:59

PlantKiller1 · 20/03/2026 19:47

I think there is a big difference asking what happens to sniffer dogs when they retire and asking why celebrities make secret satanic hand gestures and about the "creator". Yes im worried about psychosis. I cant repeat some of it as will get the message deleted. Immediate family member has schizophrenia. And he's very distant. This is not the same as looking random stuff up.

ive had severe mental illness and I would be very concerned by this. I ahd very bad paranoid delusions but they wee based on reality and for the most part were not as out there as this. I would try to encourage him to see a doctor.

GarlicFound · 21/03/2026 02:18

Superfoodie123 · 20/03/2026 21:11

Did you look up anything on the epstein files? His bank account was in the name of Baal which is a satanic demon. He was friends with many celebrities and politicians. What was once conspiracy isn't that out there anymore. Fair enough it might be out there but I wouldn't call him crazy for asking

NO, it wasn't! 'Baal' was a wilful misinterpretation of the name on a badly-scanned banks statement.

Ask your bot about it.

RogerBakewell · 21/03/2026 02:27

I want to know if time is linear now. I'm thinking, yes?

GarlicFound · 21/03/2026 02:27

@PlantKiller1, I hope you're ignoring the many PPs belittling your concerns and claiming your husband's behaviour as normal. a couple of them sound a bit borderline themselves.

All your concerns are valid, especially with the context you have shared. I agree with those urging you to take copies of his chats in case you need to evidence growing instability for MHCPs and/or a court in the future.

I'm worried about the directions his escalation might take. A PP suggested encouraging him to take his three-month break while you're still communicating reasonably (but limit his bank access while he's away!) It doesn't seem like the worst idea.

Something will happen as a result - could be anything from him joining an ashram for the rest of his life, through setting up home with somebody somewhere else, to coming back all healed and rested. Whatever road his path takes, you'll get three months to sort your life out and move towards a more stable future with your DC.

What I tend to feel you must not do is ignore it all and wait while he gets worse. He could get a lot worse, and it's very difficult to get help when that happens.

GarlicFound · 21/03/2026 02:30

RogerBakewell · 21/03/2026 02:27

I want to know if time is linear now. I'm thinking, yes?

Not exactly 😁 Space-time is 'curved' and goes all bendy under strong gravitation. Something travelling at light speed (a photon) has no interaction with time at all. Time passes more slowly as you move further away from Earth.

Physics is cool. And weird ...

PlayingDevilsAdvocateisinteresting · 21/03/2026 02:31

Sorry @PlantKiller1 I have only read all of your posts.

Disordered thoughts are really thoughts that other people have, that we ourselves don't. I think your GP was trying to reassure you, but without having to expend any energy on their own part.

I am not going to say that your not so dear Husband (aka H), has not got any dangerous mental health issues, with his family history he is more likely to have some, both through nature and nurture in his case. But I am not going to attempt to give you a percentage, as there will be too many variables to consider, and that is not something that any of us could undertake on a social media site - even one as good as Mumsnet! But even commonsense should make it obvious that there would be at least a slight increase in the probability of your H having some sort of MH problem.

I am an OAP OP, but I am also quite spiritual. For quite a while I had a particular interest in ancient Egypt, in fact it does still fascinate me, although I no longer read so much about it, but among my hardbacks are The Egyptian Book of the Dead, and books about various of their Deities, pharoes, way of life, etc. When I was in my junior school we were told about the pyramids in Egypt, and how they were built by mainly slave labour. Being books aimed at relatively young children, there were a lot of pictures - some of them depicting quite harsh scenarios really, especially considering they were aimed at chidren between 7 and 9 years old. Anyway, unsurprisingly, nothing was mentioned about alien beings, or spacecrafts, at either my junior or secondary schools.

However, as I got older I kept on thinking about how clever the people of those times were, and although maths was my least favourite subject until I was a lot older (in my 30's), as I struggled to understand it when I was younger, even though my DDad was actually a Mathematician - but not a teacher - I kept on wondering about how and/or where, they could have known enough about maths, and it's applications, to be able to construct the pyramids, to both function as they had intended them to, and to still be standing thousands of years later. It fair boggled my mind! So when I was about 13 years old, I came to the conclusion that the strongest probability was that the people of those times were either taught by aliens from a far more advanced civilisation than ours, or maybe quite as likely - if not more so - that we all, or at least some of us, were actually descended from aliens ourselves.

Do you think that I have a long-term mental illnes myself @PlantKiller1?Maybe, to help you reach a decision on that, I should go on to add that a few years later, I was thinking about the Old Testament, that as a Christian (I was Baptised and Confirmed into the C of E Tradition) I was taught that "we Christians" - I really hate that term - were not supposed to follow the Old Testament of the Bible as if it were the "gospel" truth, as it was just a way that the early Israelites tried to explain in a simplified form, about God, and how the Earth, and all the life on it, was formed.

Having said that, maybe there were some occult truths, within it. I believe that that is a possibility, especially as some of the stories seem to be a bit too "fantastic" to have been solely made up by the Israelites elders. So, was the story about the ability of God, through Moses, to part the Red Sea in order to give the Israelites a safe passage through the waves, and away from the pursuing Egyptions, really just a made-up up tale, or was it actually a true rendition of what had happened? Well, my way of thinking led me again to wondering if an alien spacecraft could have sent a downdraft upon the sea, to part the waves, and then did it withdraw when it saw the Egyptian soldiers, which meant that they were drowned when part way through the supposed safe pathway? I am also suggesting that maybe the Manna from Heaven was again aliens sending sustenance down from their unseen spacecraft?

Of course, my thoughts on these subjects bring many more questions than answers, and they are ones that even if I wished to share any more of my beliefs with you, I would not be able to so without a lot more research and meditation. So, have you made up your mind OP, am I as doolally as you think your H is, and are all people who open their minds to concepts that are - forgive me please - alien to you, also suffering from serious mental illnesses?
At the end of the day, I think that my thoughts, beliefs, and maybe my imaginings too, have made my life so far, much more interesting to me than I would have found yours. You could probably say the same back to me, but in reverse. Vive la difference 😊🩷

By the way, for a bit of added information about me, I am married, with wonderful, adult Children, and the most amazing and gorgeous Grandchildren. I have never been sectioned, I have never been arrested, and I only once - a long time ago - had a speeding ticket.

I have two rhetorical questions for you OP; do you believe in any God, and if not, do you think that everyone who does believe in a Higher Being, must themselves be mentally ill?