Just been dumped by FWB 30 seconds after sex!

[Sleepingbaggage]

I honestly don't know whether to laugh at the sheer cheek of this, or cry, or neither because I possibly always had it coming.

I have been seeing a man casually for a year. We are both divorced and we were friendly acquaintances before. We began texting after our DCs were in the same show. The texts got flirtier and eventually sexual. We met for sex, it was great, and we have continued to meet every few weeks for a year.

This morning was one such meeting. It was great as usual but then immediately afterwards, like 30 seconds afterwards, he said that it would probably be the last time as he thinks it's run its course. That was the phrase he used.

I didn't know we were on a course! If we were, I certainly would have expected him to have ended it before shagging me not immediately afterwards. The CFery of that bit.

I didn't really know what to say. He has gone now and I feel a bit shellshocked. I will see him later at pick up and I don't quite know what to say! Oh dear.

Christ he was cut throat. He could have at least waited and texted you this evening.

Exactly! He was still literally in my bed!

Ouch!

I think he might have met someone else but still wanted to squeeze one last shag in with you today.

I would just accept his position - dont ask for any explanations or say that he was a bit heartless. Just agree to leave it and then stop all comms.

Sorry OP - I hope you are ok.

Sounds like he’s met someone and is in a relationship but tbh doing it directly after sex shows what type of person he is, so good riddance.

He may have someone new on the scene, you’ll know soon enough!

What a tosser. You’re well rid.

Has he met someone else? (Who would probably be very upset to learn he'd been in your bed this morning....)

Yeah, FWB might not involve 'strings' but there's a level of basic decency and respect and that was a total dick move on his part.

When you see him on the school run, be sure to have a giggly conversation with another mum where he can see you. Not actually about him, but maybe glance over once or twice and snigger. If you can fit in a wiggled little finger gesture, even better.

I know! At least get your fucking breath back!

I have no idea if he's got someone else, and if he has then fair enough. But he obviously had the dumping in mind before this morning so I feel really annoyed that he acted completely normally, until he got what he wanted off me.

An hour ago we were doing that and now I am doing this. Unbelievable.

I don't know that there is anything to 'say'. You both were operating under a mutual understanding of no strings pure physical sex. He's now done with that and like gardening or a game of tennis no longer wishes to take part.
I think this is the reason I couldn't contemplate being involved in something like this or frequent one night stands. I would have to like somebody and naturally what comes with that is a form of attachment. You may not have been aware of this and perhaps the cold clinical nature of how he's brought it to a close is perhaps surprising even a little shocking.
I'd be feeling discarded and undervalued.

Yep, he has definitely met someone else but wanted to get a last shag in.
Wouldn’t be surprised if he comes crawling back if sex with the other lady is not up to scratch

He is a callous ass

Oh no, please don't do this, it's juvenile and embarrassing.

I'd just act completely normally and unaffected.

The more I think about it, the more disgusted I am. He presumably knew you wouldn't shag him if he dumped you first, so he got you into bed under false pretences (or at least let you make false assumptions) to get sex from you that you otherwise wouldn't have agreed to.

I hope he has the day he deserves

If he has got someone else I will need a bloody STI test. Argh. Bloody men and my hormones conspiring against me again.

Exactly. I mean, if anything, it should make this kind of breach of manners easier to avoid, as there are no strings or expectations, so there's no reason why the situation shouldn't be ended with good humour and good manners on both sides. It's not as if you were going to scream 'But I thought we were getting married!!!'

Very poor behaviour on his part.

Actually having that conversation would be juvenile, yes. Just making him a bit paranoid that you are is a different matter.

Exactly right. He didn't even say it before and then suggest one last shag (presumably because he thought I might say no. A correct thought!). And to do it so quickly afterwards!

I bet he thought he was being kind, doing it in person.

If you were just a fwb no strings non exclusive you should use condoms

That is absolutely brutal, what a prick!! More important to get his end away one more time than it was to treat you with basic decency and a modicum of respect.

It's not really about your delicate sensibilities though. OP isn't questioning his right to end things or upset about things ending, it's more voicing surprise that he'd do it after immediately post-shag.

I'd wager he's met someone but wanted a last hurrah. Definitely a CF!

What a twat. Don’t go back to him op. Text him back and say “I’m glad you said it first as I was thinking the same thing”.

And yes he’s totally not nice to do it straight after - at least you know what he’s like now so you don’t waste anymore time with him.

Thanks mum.

We did at first, then we did not. Sexual exclusivity was agreed to when we stopped. Perhaps I was stupid to believe him.

This is teenage behaviour. Unless the OP wants to look like a petulant child who has to have the last word, she should not do this.