wanting another baby

[hayley88]

iv got a son whos now one and i want to try for another baby. my partner says he does not want to at this moment in time but the reason is because of his mum and dad. Hes afraid that they will be to upset and disapointed in him. I have told him several time thats we are our own family now no-one elses opinion matters if we are happy then they should be. I say to him would u be happy if i got pregnant and he says yeah so i say well why cant we try......its really getting to me hes to concerned what other people think but all im concerned about is me and my family (my partner and child). i get lectured everytime i go to his house by his 15 year old brother sayin you cannot have another baby do you want to struggle all your life..... i dont struggle i cope very well and all i want in life is my family im sorry for blabbing on im just sick of everyone ruling our lifes and stopping us doing what we want to do im life.

a week lol

oh i meant week not month hehe

were hopefully gettin a 2 bedroomed apartment of my partners uncle for £400 a month and hes on gas and electric meters x

whereabouts in the world are you hayley?? The only reason I ask is because where I come from £330 a week wouldn't get you a bedsit, but if you're somewhere where rents are cheaper then I agree with other posters. You're so young (I mean that in a slightly envious way, I'm an old crone) and you are soooo lucky to have so much time on your side. There's no rush for anything, you can have your big family, but I think the priority should be finding somewhere suitable to live. How long til your dp gets his corgi registration? Hopefully he'll be able to get even better paid work when that happens and you'll be in an even better postion to get a house and continue building your family.

hes got to wait and do his course which he has to pay for but at the moment hes just about to do his driving test so hes gotta pay for that i can get a flat or house round her for £150 a week lol why is rent dear round you lol x

same here headfairy, rents very expensive, even council rents.

The meters are the most pricy way to 'do' your house fuel, btw. I think most of us here pay monthly by DD.

I think, seriously, a few months of living alone and balancing your books, and then a baby. i had to wait to have dc3 until dh became more 'qualified' in his line of work so we could comfortably afford to.

Do you and dp get along well, have a good relationship? Maybe thats why people may also think things if you argue alot?

You could go back to college or even start a degree whilst you are waiting - i did!

150, then add tv licence, council tax, home ins, food (my god does that cost a fortune now), phone, internet, Sky, Car costs (running, MOT, Tax)

plus clothes, haircuts, holidays, nurseries, any credit loans or debts, etc etc

it costs alot to be independant these days.

no we get on great we never really argue and if we do we are only mad at each other for about 20minutes lol! yeah are relationship is great were engaged and everything i would go back to college or work but got no one to mind baby x

the college/uni creches are great, baby would be very close to you and you would get some sort of a grant to help you train.

Worth thinking about, the focus helped me stop thinking about bloody babies all the time!

lol i think its coz everyone i no is pregnant lol and babys not really a baby no more lol ill think about that :~)

i would just like to say that i think u should wait to, I had my dc at 21 and dp and I had our own place,but due to circumstances out of our control we had to move back with my mum.We had planned on having 2 children close together but unfortunatelydue to the situation we couldnt. We have now bought our home but still live with my mum and Dc is now 5 and still we have no others due to space and money.If we have another at the moment then dc has to go without certain treats that I wouldnt be happy to let him - iykwim! I think u need to make sure u can afford to live comfortably with the 3 of u before u decide to have anymore.Good luck x

To be honest, if i was you i would wait until you've got your house/flat and you can concentrate on building your home up for you and your kids, then if you decide to have a baby you've got no-one there to tell you not to, you can stick your fingers up to them ( not Literrally) and say that you can manage and provide for them on your own

What is so funny, hayley?

what u mean wats so funny :s

Your next baby wont stay a baby forever either though, and there will always be people around you who are pregnant..not really the strongest reason for you to have another baby.
TBH, i'm broody a lot of the time, ds2 is 6 months and isnt really a little baby anymore..but that doesnt mean i'll go and have another one

lol thank you noogles and fifis world..... aw my so loves fifi haha

no its not just coz everyones pregnant that just gets me more broody lol iv wanted another baby since baby was 8months its just natural to me i fink i was put on the earth to have the largest family ever hehe just kidding no seriously i will wait until we get a house or flat but its just so stressing tryin to find sumwhere were having no luck wat so ever xxx

sorry, got distracted by work (pah!) Rents are very expensive where I am in SW London, dh are looking at our finances at the moment and we've worked out our total bills each month are about £1800, including mortgage insurances, childcare, utilities car and so on but not including food or travel and clothing.

It is hard when everyone else is having babies around you as they're so gorgeous when they're tiny, but think of it this way, if you wait a bit, when their babies are bigger you'll have a lovely newborn.

Join the stressing about finding somewhere to live club! The reason dh and I are looking at our finances is to work out if we can afford a house. The answer is definitely not where we live (£800k for a terraced 3 bed) but how far out we have to go before we can afford. Clue: it's a long way!

dear oh dear

I ask 'what is so funny?' because you keep going lol lol lol lol lol at every sentence.

Is it a teenage textspeak thing or is your situation more amusing than we thought?

By the way, did you know that there is this really nice baby website called BabyCentrewhere mums are much younger, more huggy and kissy, and replies to posts such as yours are much more supportive.

I feel you would like it better there.

How am i relying on the charity of others since i was 16 iv been fending for my self i have not ask for a penny of anyone since my baby was born i provide for my child of my own back no one elses and what do u mean what do i expect theres 2 ruff areas on the housing where i dont want to live and anywhere else id be glad to live i am not immature as you say i live with my parents but 26year olds live with there parents i do not ask for anything of anyone and everything my child owns wheres eat is off me and my money how dare you say that to me that i am relyin of the charity of others did i metion once about borrowing money or anything no i didnt and i am a responsible adult i have been threw the ruffest time my child was borna nd was in special care for 10days and at 18 thats very scary i had hemeridge and needed a blood transfusion from then on i have brought this child up of my own stuff. whys everybody being sarky with me im 20 years old not 10 i have brought my little baby up the best i can and i will continue to do so i dont appreciate people knocking me down telling me in immature and relying on people that im not i find that comment very offensive. I left school at 15 with 7gcse's i started work in a nursery at 16 and was at college part time i worked up until i found out i was pregnant with wasnt planned and it was a big shock from then on i saved up and have continued to save so me and my family have the life i want them to live and have a god live like i had..... as i have said because i dont live in my own place doesnt make me immature or a worser of person then what you are! im happy with the way im living and how im bringing my baby up. Getting a house or flat would be a brilliant bonus and i have been looking for a long time and it is hard to find a place its not like you can walk out and choose one in a day its a very stressing process and i will find the right place for me and my family soon and when i do i no i will be better of there with my own family.