wanting another baby

[hayley88]

iv got a son whos now one and i want to try for another baby. my partner says he does not want to at this moment in time but the reason is because of his mum and dad. Hes afraid that they will be to upset and disapointed in him. I have told him several time thats we are our own family now no-one elses opinion matters if we are happy then they should be. I say to him would u be happy if i got pregnant and he says yeah so i say well why cant we try......its really getting to me hes to concerned what other people think but all im concerned about is me and my family (my partner and child). i get lectured everytime i go to his house by his 15 year old brother sayin you cannot have another baby do you want to struggle all your life..... i dont struggle i cope very well and all i want in life is my family im sorry for blabbing on im just sick of everyone ruling our lifes and stopping us doing what we want to do im life.

i'm sorry if I gave the impression that its not Ok to be proud of having healthy children and priviledges you are born with. Of course it is but its also OK to do things differently and feel equally proud. The point I was trying to make (maybe not very eloquently) is that its not OK to bully anyone.

hayley, can you please ask Disenchanted to come back? I'll miss her for one!

Cote, WHY the continuous pointless posts?

If you haven't got anything of substance to offer - please, refrain.

Hayley, I'm glad you've risen above the bitchiness on here. I'm ashamed to say I'm a member of this site today after seeing this thread. It is truly shocking.

You're a brilliant mum - you know that. I do think you should wait before having any more kids, simply because it's easier at uni or whatever with only one kiddy - I'm 25, single and in a council house on benefits; I got pregnant at 19 and have gone to uni - I don't think I'd have managed anything like that with 2 to be honest. I don't know if you're planning on uni or whatever, but that's what I think.

I hope I haven't offended you. Please pass my "hello"s on to Disenchanted - I shall miss her

Actually Cote there is no irony as Sunflower explained herself and didn't persist in nitpicking and sarcasm.

The irony is being called 'shallow' by the person who answers "What do you want from life?" with "I want to be happy", who has set her mind on having her second baby at 20 because "lol i think its coz everyone i no is pregnant lol and babys not really a baby no more lol".

The irony is being called 'ignorant' by the author of the lines "hes wont be like you low minded people when hes grows up", who has contributed the words 'sarky', and 'hemeridge [sic]' to MN lexicon, complains about the 'bitcheness [sic]' of 'judgementive [sic]' people. Someone who has argued against the advice to further her education for better future career prospects, saying she has had enough education until the age of... 15.

There is also the irony of being called rude by those who applaud the poster of "FUCK all of you", but that is too obvious to explain.

And on that note, have a good one

I have waded through this entire thread.

I'm not sure why you considered it appropriate to try and claim the moral high ground, CoteDAzur.

You are far from being a wounded innocent here.

The OP made some harsh responses, but you have hardly done yourself proud on this thread either - and without any of the initial provocation that the OP encountered.

Come on Cote - I know you're a nice person underneath all of this. Surely you can see that just because she wasn't as articulate as you obviously are, she didn't need some of those comments.
No-one applauded her when she did that, but she was pushed into a corner. Anyway, how often is the f-word used on here now? I see it daily. Anyone I know who is of similar age to H would say the same thing as she did when rubbed up the wrong way.

i didnt actually say fuck you i said f**K YOU AS I WAS ANNOYED AND THAT IS A WORD I HARDLY USE I HATE THAT AND MANY OTHER SWEAR WORDS.

yes i do want to be happy in lie is that bad? i want whats best for my child and my partner and if that is being happy then fair enough.

i would rather have happiness then money, flash cars designer clothes. Because i no for a fact happiness is there forever unlike material belongings.

hi hayley I just wanted to wish you luck, hope you manage to find a flat soon I know it can be hard when you are broody but most important thing is that you and your partner both want a child so if he isn't ready then you should wait until he is.

some of the comments from others on this thread particulary cote;dazur smacks of snobbery, it is disgusting and you should be ashamed of yourselves but of course you want be as you think you are superior.

that should read 'won't be' see anyone can make spelling/grammar mistakes.

well said hayley you have just as much right to defend yourself when backed into a particualrly harsh corner as anyone else does! (all of the RUDE!! posters here have most likely been backed into a corner at some point in their lives and would have reacted in defence of themselves!)
cotedazure there is no need to be so defensive! you made comments that were obviously out of order and were very judgemental ignoring the facts! at least be 'grown up' enough to own up and apologise as hayley has done!!
it is a sad state of affairs when a person looking for advice ad support is attacked so blatently and nastily that she is reduced to tears over a few peoples horrid judgmental and snobbish comments!!
keep your chin up hayley!!
xx ei xx

Hayley - you should start up another thread thats all about being positive, because lets face it you seem far happier than a lot of people on here and that is a very good thing. You have a great relationship where you can share things with your partner and when he's fully qualified you'll be cashing in! Every plumber I know works very hard but does very well. Hinted at my DH a while ago to think about retraining but he can barely change a lightbulb!
Superiority is what makes the UK (especially) class people - think it may be something to do with the fact that we aren't a republic...maybe that'll get them all going again...

Coming to this thread late but felt I had to reply. I am 34, waited until I got married, had my own home and had reasonably good job before having my first child. Took a long time to achieve all this and worked many years to do so, put myself through university to get good job, saved for years to own my first home (modest- 2 up 2 down terrace)and paid for my own wedding along with dh. My baby is now 2 and would LOVE to have another baby and age is against me. However, just cant afford it. Husband and I have good jobs (though I now work part-time) but have huge mortgage for modest house (we live in the south east) and loads of outgoings. We dont have a lavish lifestyle and just about get by. The reason I say all this is I think its SO unfair that people like Hayley and there are so many its depressing, think they have a god given right to reproduce when they cannot support their family. Ok so she says her partner works but they are still being subsidised by the good old taxpayer. Why is if fair that someone like me who has done everything 'right' and worked hard to provide a good life for her child cannot afford to have another baby when others just breed. In a way I dont blame them, its the governments fault, the benefit system is all set up to throw money at single mothers and their boyfriends whose only job is to get their girlfriends pregnant. I walk around my town and see hundreds of them- fit young men surrounded by by buggies and toddlers with their young girlfriend heavily pregnant. Again. They should get a job and support their families rather than dossing around. Before everyone replies in uproar, I do know what I'm talking about. I work for the benefits agency. Maybe I have got it all wrong, I should chuck in my job, get my husband too as well and live on benefits, that way I can have loads of kids and get a council house. Nice!

Yawns Pointless re-opening this thread....

oh my god..for a minute there i thought i had gone back in time 2 weeks or so
didnt this thread die a while back?? no? my mistake then!!
to the person who has posted louise i think that your post sounds narrow minded and a litle bit judgemental TBH!!
you work for the system that you condemn which means that by all rights they pay YOUR way too!! why judge others just because you are jealous of the fact that they have lots of kids and you have 1. why dont you focus on your own life and not be so nasty about the people who pay YOUR wages!! if noone wanted benefits there would be no need for unsympathetic judgemental people like you so maybe think about that for a while.
FWIW it has been repeated over and over again that the OP works part time (as do you) and her DP works full time while they save up for their future. she asked a simple question and doesnt deserve constant berating.
xx ei xx