DatingThread 55 - Spring has Sprung!

[Nosdacariad]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating -Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy
Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

Morning daters, hope I did this right and it is not a duplicate!

Morning @Nosdacariad

Morning @PinkNeonSign and @Nosdacariad

Thanks for the new thread @Nosdacariad! Morning all.

Hello all and thanks for setting up the thread @Nosdacariad!

Hello!

Thanks for the new thread @Nosdacariad

Thinking of taking a break from OLD as I'm just finding it so miserable. Can I still hang around on the thread if I'm not actively dating? I'd miss you lovely lot!

I've just paused my Feeld account as it's the one I spend the most time on. Need to have a little recalibration I think!

Mr Soughdough has not called. One text on Sunday, and no promised call since Friday. I don't understand why he'd send a text about a bike ride when he could have sent the "thanks but no thanks" text instead and be done with it? What do we all reckon, have I been bumped? Surely after 4 good dates you have to say that... or do they just walk off at this point?

I hope you stick around, we need all the help we can get!!

If we’re looking at consistency, how many days did he wait after the previous dates before he called? If it’s more this time plus the random text it seems a bit off.

Sorry, but if think he sent that one message just to keep you interested, but his interest has tailed off & he's keeping you around just in case... Oh but I feel really mean writing that & I really hope that I'm wrong!!!

Kaltenzahn Hang around, I am! I'm always hanging around offering my wisdom (like I know what I'm talking about)

Well, I have been considering this because he's always taken his time, and called within 3 days. It is now day 4. He did text within 48 hours (Sunday) but this is the first time he has not called. He seems like such a nice man (very kind with nice manners) I would be so surprised if he just disappeared without the obligatory "this has been lovely but no thanks" text. I like closure, but I don't think it's my place to ask him if we are done here, surely he should step into that? Is it normal to get ghosted after four dates? I have not got to a fourth date in so long I have no idea!

Hi all - I have started lurking on here as I lurk on PoF, although it’s more interesting on here.
So 2 reasons to reveal myself - I actually had a date, which I haven’t been assed with for a good while!!!
And I am lurking here to the point of needing to add it to a watching so May as well just add a post instead of creepily stalking I think.

Re Mr Sourdough, who sounded so hopeful I wanted to hear updates, he’s disappointed you now, so unless he calls imminently and it is clear, and reasonable, why it was out of sync then I’m sorry to say that it’s probably spoiled - but I really hope not.
I’m not sure of other irons, whose is who and how they’re going, but fingers crossed they’re steaming away!

what is "Loo update?"

It would be very disappointing if he ghosted after four dates. After you meet in person you should at least have the decency to tell someone you're not interested rather than just vanish.

If he normally goes a few days between messaging then it could just be that he's crap at messaging. What was his message on Sunday like?

If you are feeling uncertain I'd send him another message to check in/firm up plans before you write him off but I don't have an issue with double messaging and probably break all sorts of texting etiquette rules!

I do hope he gets back to you, and if not then his loss!

I assumed "Loo update" means you should update the thread when you nip to the loo on a first date. Don't think I've seen anyone do it though!

I did it once!
I don't think that many bother though.

If I ever get an actual date I'll do it 🤣

His message on Sunday was about a bike ride he'd been on on Saturday! I did respond saying it sounded like fun and that's the last I heard from him. I don't want to chase him as he said he'd call me. If he never gets back to me then I've lost a rude man with bad manners, next!

Oh haha that's so funny, like they do in First Dates? Love that show...

Even if he does come back as normal I really
couldn’t cope with that level of communication it would drive me to distraction.

Ugh, I’m sorry. I do think somewhere around the 4th/5th date tends to be the “make or break” time in OLD. At least in my experience it’s when guys start to question whether or not there’s enough there to be properly dating. So far with OLD at least, I’ve only ever made it past this point with two people - Mr Nomad (who I’ve been seeing 5 months now) and someone I previously ended up seeing for 1.5 years.

Thank you for the new thread! 🙂

I’m not one for constant texting between dates but the fact he’s not called when he said he would, his only message has been telling you about himself and on top of your last date when he left you to walk home alone I think I’d be having second thoughts by now

I decided to jump back into the apps couple of days ago, seeing as Mr Nomad and Mr Charismatic are apparently in no rush to commit to anything. Urgh it’s even worse than I remember. I did match with someone yesterday who sen me a low effort “hey how’s your week going” then hasn’t bothered to respond to my reply. Sigh.