Dating thread 54-New year new irons?

[bluedabadeedabadoo]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating -Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

@CleanShirt that sounds brilliant!
@rubberduck68 Just back from a long walk and I’m starting to see why he’s been single for so long now. Yet another bear hug and peck on the lips as I left to drive home, nothing more. Which I was actually fine with as I’m starting to notice a fair bit of mansplaining which is leaving me a bit cold. He even tried to mansplaining a subject I’m professionally qualified in (that he’s definitely not) and when I gently suggested that I’m not sure that’s quite right, he doubled down and insisted so I just said ‘oh ok’ and left him to it.
I’ve no interest in DTD now and our schedules don’t align for a fortnight thankfully. I’m going to have a think about whether I want to see him again but right now I’m not sure.

Well done @CleanShirt! Perfect tonic for forgetting idiots on the Internet who can’t send a 5 second message.

@rubberduck68 Mr Sourdough has been really consistent and normal so far so hopefully you’ll hear something in the next couple of days.

That all sounds encouraging with Mr Charismatic @BoxOfCats. Taking it slowly doesn’t seem like a bad thing at all.

Is sending long messages on the apps a red flag? I’ve just started messaging someone new and he writes a lot more than I’m used to though some of those were ‘hey’ guys. The people I’ve dated tended to send fairly short messages but enough to get a bit of banter going and find out a bit about each other. I guess it’s ok as long as talk moves to a date within a few days and the messages don’t get boring!

Brightbluesomething That's a disappointing update. I can't stand mansplaining!

@Brightbluesomething well done for your excellent discernment 🏵

Someone just disappeared from chat when I asked what he was making in his woodworking 😅

Polly1979 I've had dates with men who send long messages & they've been fine, like you say, it just needs to actually lead to a date!

I also tend to waffle on a bit sometimes but the only time I mind is if they send a long one & I'm busy so I'll just send a quick one back & then they get the hump that I didn't send a long one!

@Brightbluesomething that is disappointing. Mansplaining is the worst especially if it’s on something you know more about. I had this on a first date once and there wasn’t a second date!

Nothing pulls my shoulders up to my ears quicker than mansplaining knowalls who like the sound of their own voice.

No second date if i were in your shoes

This was already date 3! I’m now wondering if I missed it or glossed over earlier signs as he was attentive and put effort in.
Thinking about my last couple of LTR’s by date 3 we’d DTD and had lots of laughs together, we were compatible in a lot of ways. Obviously not enough to work out. But we’ve not laughed at all, conversation is quite transactional.
I think I’ve got the ick….

LOL Mr Abacus has reinvented himself on Tinder from fb dating - as Mr Abac.

If we match this time it will be the FOURTH time without a date arranged, WHAT is this dude playing at 😅

Nosdacariad He's hoping that you will go A-back again

I’ve got one of those. Every time I’ve had a foray into OLD there’s a man I’ll call Mr C who swipes on me but never ever engages.
I matched on bumble first time so messaged him without a response. .I've since seen him on pretty much every app and every time he’s swiped on me. I even messaged him again saying ‘why do you match and never speak’ and still no reply!

Weirdos the lot of the.

Love this!! What happened?

We've been messaging today and arranged to meet in a couple of weeks (I'm working and he's away). Seems like a nice guy!

Nice one!
Seriously what's to be gained by endlessly messaging someone he's not met?!

So good!! Gah, I so wish I could meet someone in the wild. Wherever I go it seems to be just women everywhere!

@CleanShirt just fabulous!

The peck on the lips would do it for me… I hate the peck - I don’t want to be pecked - I want to be snogged! And the mansplaining about your industry - hell no. Just no. He’s supposed to be on his A-game right now - this will only get worse?

Nosdacariad It's just game playing, isn't it.

But what are the rules?!

Nosdacariad No idea!

Personally, I'm a bit ice-queen like & won't give them a second chance so won't match again.

Yeah I knew the first second chance was daft..

MsNHS and I have been messaging and we've arranged a coffee date for next Friday. The conversations seem okay, wordy, but seems to lack a bit of something but can't quite explain what is missing? To copy a word used, just feels transactional?

I mentioned in previous posts that she hasn't long been separated. She mentioned today as we were arranging the date as she has her children full time (which is fine) and the dad was kicked out of the house (3 year affair, quite rightly so) and wasn't prepared to live anywhere, and eventually will find somewhere and have the kids. I worry that this might be too soon and maybe something I shouldn't get involved in.

Part of me thinks I should give her a miss, part of me thinks going on the date to see if there is any chemistry, but that might muddy the water if there is!

Ps. How does one approach someone in pub and successfully get a snog?!

@OptimisticFather well we told you what we thought already...wishing you luck ☘️

Well done. Far better than wasted date with the ghost mug

Funny isn’t it when you have a drunken snog like a teenager. I did it before Christmas - I laughed at the thought of a couple of 60 year olds having a very public snog 😂

Yes you did, and I should have listened to it. I guess I was just phased by the fact someone was interested in me.