Dating thread 54-New year new irons?

[bluedabadeedabadoo]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating -Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

Awww! Tell us more, what was he like?

You sound like you have your head screwed on right, I think you’re approaching with a good amount of caution which seems sensible. And if the sex is great then, well why not? ☺️

Urgh, it’s so hard isn’t it? I find the ambiguity surrounding dating so torturous at times! You’re not alone…

@KittyCorncrake @Nosdacariad
I would actually be delighted to travel with Mr Nomad to South East Asia if I could. One of the things I’ve hated the most about being single is having no one to go on these kinds of long haul trips with. And I could do them on my own but it wouldn’t be as fun. Plus he and I genuinely get on so well when we spend time together.

Really the challenge is whether I commit to a trip like that now, knowing that we aren’t in a relationship so things could change, particularly as I do actually want to find someone long term. However, I think it’s likely we won’t book anything for a month or so at least so I’ve got a bit of time to mull it over.

Mr Charismatic is also not back from holiday until early Feb, so I have a bit of time to think about what I do on that front too as I won’t see him until then. I don’t actually know what he wants from me - sex definitely, but not sure what else.

@bluedabadeedabadoo @BoxOfCats well he bought lunch and we chatted for three hours and said we'd like to do it again.

Mr Sparx is being a bit needy.

Mr X had another mantrum and after messaging ME told me to leave him alone. Easy!

Well after 6 years with no sex I think well why not just make the most of what’s available and enjoy it 🤷‍♀️ life is too short to have no sex and just wait around for ‘the one’….. I might be singing a different tune next week 🤣

Newbie here. Been chatting to someone for a month and 2 good dates and planning the 3rd. Also messaging each other most days and had a few kisses but nothing more. Since our last date he has beefed up his bio and added new photos. I completely get that he is messaging other people and going on dates but I did feel a bit hurt that he’s made a concerted effort to attract new people. Is this completely normal and I’m just being a bunny boiler?

@Polly1979 I think I’d be annoyed too but then I’m the type to really only date very sparsely as I never meet anyone I like.

Matched with an interesting iron then realised his new pics had his wedding ring on. Sigh.

How's everyone's weekends been?

I needed someone to take my phone away... Was drunk at a wedding and remembered I had the fireman on Instagram, so he got a message 🫣

Am meeting Boat Man for the first time tomorrow (works on boats) who seems very silly and fun, quite looking forward to it.

Eugh well I went out yday and got very drunk
ended up unblocking my ex who also had me blocked and wrote a ranty rant knowing he wouldn’t see it, and then about an hour later he must have realised I’d unblocked him and he unblocked me!
we’ve been split up with no contact for 3 months
ive left him unblocked as having him in my blocked list is effectively still having his contact details in my phone so I’ve deleted his number
I suggest you do the same

Oh no! It must be the weekend for it! I also gave in to messaging Mr P yesterday even though I said I was going to leave it this weekend to help me with the transition of moving from dating to FWB! 🤦🏻‍♀️ it isn’t the end of the world as contact has still been significantly lower and I’ve resisted messaging him back today. The change on level of contact is the hardest thing for me so far!
stay strong ladies and I’ll try to do the same!

How was his response? Positive? Neutral?
Is it worth getting some conversations going with someone else on the apps? It might help to distract you! Always works for me.

I often wonder about deleting the number but I am not sure if it is possible to keep them on the blocked list at the same time. I have this old ex (broke up five years ago!) who used to message me a couple times a year. Then he got fed up with hearing no and sent me a long paragraph calling me all sorts. I blocked him but I'd really like to delete his number as well. There is obviously zero chance of me contacting him but I don't even like seeing the name in my contact list.

He replied straight away and asked how I was, what I was doing etc and we chatted for a bit til he fell asleep and we finished the conversation this morning but I have managed to resist contact tonight.
Im going to contact tomorrow with availability for our ‘first meet up’ (I’ve had AF so it is kinda waiting on that to finish) and then try to leave it until the day before or day of.
Yer I have reactivated my profile and had a couple of matches but nothing very inspiring. I haven’t been swiping though and only on the one app. I may have a swipe now but I think I need to work on my profile a bit first.

Definitely have a swipe. I probably wouldn't be contacting him tomorrow and wait until he initiates or did you guys agree you message with your availability?

It was sort of left that I would given that I was with AF so he will be expecting me to let him know when we are in the clear but after that I’m going to leave it to him and try to distance myself emotionally.

@elleinthewoods just tagging you in the new thread

Definitely, don't think about him in this time if you can help it!

@Polly1979 you are NOT a bunnyboiler

We all need to focus on ourselves a bit more I think.

On the blocking topic I have re-blocked MrX who has backed himself into a corner even he can't lie his way out of.

The MIMP (men in my phone) have all gone quiet.

I think it’s completely normal for you to feel like this. If I was really into someone, I wouldn’t be doing this, even though at that stage it’s a social norm, but it’s what is acceptable for you.

It may be normal in the modern dating to continue looking for other options but I would ask yourself these questions:

• Are you happy investing more time into a person who is potentially out there dating/kissing/god-knows-what other people?
• Are you comfortable having an open conversation with him about this?

If the answer to any of these is a NO, then I personally wouldn't continue.

I haven't personally ask Mr AC about exclusivity (doesn't matter to me in the early days even though I don't do rosta dating myself) but I feel totally comfortable doing so. I would never proceed with a date where I felt I couldn't discuss something like that.

3pm. Boat man still hasn't cancelled. Am I actually NOT being ghosted for once??

Amazing! Hope it goes well!

He's even suggested food!

@CleanShirt report back!