Dating thread 54-New year new irons?

[bluedabadeedabadoo]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating -Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

Yes I definitley interpret ‘no drama’ as someone who is not emotionally available enough to deal with another persons emotions. They probably create dramas by their avoidance and their lack of acknowledgement and responsiveness to the issues they cause is what the consider ‘drama’ 🤷‍♀️
So I’m just on the way to my Breeze date. Feeling nervous now 😬 I think I’ll call him Mr TBreeze seen as though he’s my first date through Breeze 🤭

Yer it does make you feel a bit rubbish doesn’t it and very disposable but it is realistic given that may irons fizzle out quickly, especially if it’s a while until the date.

What a weird thing to boast about! He is either testing you to see how you react or he is a complete moron.
I think the only correct response here is "Have a wonderful time" then block and delete.

@PinkNeonSign or it's a pathetic trying to make you jealous move.

@bluedabadeedabadoo have a fab time!

@bluedabadeedabadoogood luck!

@PinkNeonSignI wouldn’t be impressed by that either - absolutely no need for it. Definitely sounds like testing for a reaction.

Good luck @bluedabadeedabadoo

Thanks for all your responses re.MrSilverFox, I just said ‘Ah okay, enjoy’ and he responded with a heart emoji! 🤬 I wish I’d not given him
my number now and I could just un-match.

So weird! Best case scenario is that he thinks he’s doing the right thing by being transparent, however is completely lacking in self awareness so doesn’t see why it’s inappropriate.

Hope it goes well!

Agree with all the comments re no drama. I also swipe past them.

bluedabadeedabadoo Ooh hoping it goes well! Might have to try Breeze.

Awww. I don’t think it’s silly, even though it a small act it’s the kind of thing that shows someone is caring and considerate.

Awwww, so nice!

How ridiculous! I would see it as the opposite if someone did this, a green flag that they care about others.

So just on the way home after date with Mr TBreeze. He was perfectly pleasant but no spark and we don’t have anything in common. Was good to try out OLD from a different perspective though.

@bluedabadeedabadoo oh shame but restores faith a bit maybe?

Yer I’ll give breeze a go again but will just look for people with similar interests.

Does anyone have a view on being left on read?

Yes, a little act of kindness!

bluedabadeedabadoo Shame, but at least it was pleasant enough.

What's the context?
Mr AC messaged me today with something steamy. I read it but I was about to go into a work meeting so didn't reply for a couple of hours. He often does the same when he is at work, sometimes when he is out and about or seeing his kids. I think that's just normal adulting.
Someone leaving you on read overnight...not normal adulting.
Although, again, I sometimes do it when talking to a friend and conversation sort of reached its natural ending where I don't feel I have to say anything. But these are friends so I know them well as we usually pick up a few days later.

Thanks @Andsoitsover like for two days. When we are supposed to have a date on Saturday.

I normally react with a heart or something if I'm not going to reply.

Aware I may be hypersensitive to it but...two days!

@Andsoitsoverbeing left on read for 2 days would upset me but that’s how I am with communication. Some people are different and don’t see the need to have very frequent communication between dates.

Morning so I last heard from Mr P on Monday. I had text him to let him know AF had left the building and we provisionally arranged to meet tomorrow (first time since agreeing FWB) but he was non committal and said he would let me know. He still hasn’t. I suspect he had a date yesterday (as did I) and was waiting to see how it went before committing. He was a bit non commital beforehand but not this bad. What should I do? Should I:

1. follow up asking him to confirm.
2. assume that his non confirmation mean it isn’t happening and don’t follow up?

if I do nothing and he then makes last minute contact confirming, what should I do?

FWIW I didn’t set a boundary in terms of when he should confirm by but he said he would let me know ‘later’ so I actually thought that meant the same day and he wouldn’t usually leave it this late to confirm although I know the dynamics are different now.

@bluedabadeedabadoo others may have a different view but unless Mr P has ENORMOUS hidden talents I'd say you've done all the work needed here and stop now.

I'd also not be available unless I had two days' notice - I don't know FWB rules but I feel like FWB and the basic amount of respectful are not mutually exclusive.

If you keep messaging/putting effort in there's a danger of being his backup plan and who wants that?

I’d apply the same rules to a fwb as any other friendship
if they are flakey and disrespectful I’d sack them off

@NosdacariadHa ha not enormous but definitely does have some hidden talents 😉
Yer I think I’ve done enough and it’s over to him now. I do think he will
show up again at some point 🙄
I do think it’s very rude to get to the day before and not confirm either way and I did expect more from him. I won’t make contact. If he does make contact today I’ll have to decide whether to go with it (as I’m still free tomorrow) but say something about leaving it so late or pass…..

@bluedabadeedabadoo I would have other plans. He's not your boyf so leave them unspecified. Otherwise he's going to keep doing this.